Discussion [Tw Self Harm] What do you do to stop self harm urges?

[UninformedLover]

This is for fellow self harmers really.

The urge to self harm is back again. I've been clean for a while now and I just wanna know if I can do anything else. All the other stuff (rubber band method etc.) doesn't work so I'm curious to know what y'all do, so I can try it as well.

 

[Squiddy]

I take Naltrexone to help me with self-harm along with talking to people about how I feel and I've been clean for more than 2 months

 

[Ame]

Watching this thread closely for more input because still being here has weighed heavily on my mood and naturally the urges to self-harm are back in full force ha ha;;

That said, I'm really sorry that you are struggling with these urges after having worked so hard to abstain. I do have some ideas for self-harm substitutes and coping skills but it would be helpful if you could explain what it is you gain from hurting yourself. In the meantime, I would suggest that you try to avoid making any decisions if you are in a state of distress. Very few people look back on the choices that they've made while feeling strongly without regret, so please be careful until you've calmed down somewhat. Please be kind to yourself.

 

[azucaramargo]

are back in full force ha ha;;

That said, I'm really sorry that you are struggling with these urges after having worked so hard to abstain. I do have some ideas for self-harm substitutes and coping skills but it would be helpful if you could explain what it is you gain from hurting yourself. In the meantime, I would suggest that you try to avoid making any decisions if you are in a state of distress. Very few people look back on the choices that they've made while feeling strongly without regret, so please be careful until you've calmed down somewhat. Please be kind to yourself

@Ame, reading your posts is like reading an advice column! You really seem to have all the answers!

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

Mine came back too and I have started I am trying to resist but it is hard... The only thing that used help a tiny bit before was ropes... I would tie the rope around my wrist or ankle and see how tight and how long I can stop the blood flow... I don't know if that is any help to you.... I hope you can get through this, sending you lots of love and hugs

 

[Azzy69]

1. I find going for a long walk helpful in managing the urges. You know, walking to the point that you feel physically exhausted. It acts as a substitute for your desired pain.

2. Punching or hitting something soft, such as a pillow - it allows you to release the painful, strong desire to hurt yourself.

3. Writing. Absolutely anything at all. If you have to, push the pen down so hard that it pierces through the entire book. Do not be afraid to express your emotions.

4. Take a long, cool shower. Sit there and allow yourself to cry and scream if you have to.

5. Play your favourite song on full blast!! Sing and dance!!

I know self harm urges are fucking painful, but they will pass. You are worthy of stopping and I KNOW you can do it.

 

[jgm63]

This is for fellow self harmers really.

The urge to self harm is back again. I've been clean for a while now and I just wanna know if I can do anything else. All the other stuff (rubber band method etc.) doesn't work so I'm curious to know what y'all do, so I can try it as well.

I realise this may sound like a "weak" solution, but could something as simple as some herbal teas be helpful ?
Peppermint tea is a wonderful thing you know.....
Sorry if I'm being unrealistic, but it could be worth a try, and might help to occupy you while you enjoy the flavour....
You can pretty much drink it all day long without any negative consequences....(in fact it will probably have positive consequences)

 

[homebound]

I usually have a cigarette and it helps me. Freezing showers are nice too, they make me forget about everything besides the cold (: My brother usually tries to draw how he's feeling since he's an artist (never worked for me, but to each their own!). If you ever want to talk to someone feel free to PM me

 

[azucaramargo]

This is for fellow self harmers really.

The urge to self harm is back again. I've been clean for a while now and I just wanna know if I can do anything else. All the other stuff (rubber band method etc.) doesn't work so I'm curious to know what y'all do, so I can try it as well.

Yeah, Uni(n)formed Lover, let's deconstruct the urge to self harm. What other sorts of emotions were occurring around this time? Please feel free to respond any way you'd like. I would love to help you fight the urge. Lay it on me.

Also, picking ingrown (p*bic) hairs with sterile needles ? :) Probably not the same kind of high, though. Full disclosure, I'm not a cutter. So, sorry I chimed in. I don't want you to be in pain. And, that is SO COOL about your protracted "sobriety!" That is GREAT! Please talk about the accompanying emotions/life stressors that coincided with the renewed urge to cut.

 

[Finis Autem Spero]

I usually have a cigarette and it helps me.

I mean, that's still kinda self harm. At least, that's why I smoke instead of cut these days.

The urge to self harm seems rooted in frustration for me. I've found that chewing or rubbing ice on my skin helps acheive a similar feeling of release. Also deep breathing works (This and satisfying a nicotine craving is why smoking allegedly has a calming effect).

Sometimes just distracting myself with a game of solitaire, or quick run on a roguelike game works.

As a last resort, I'll drink some water and have a nap. I almost always wake up feeling better.

Something I never had but is abundant on this forum is supportive listeners, that seems like it would be very helpful both as a distraction and release.

 

[k75]

I'm not technically a self harmer, but maybe I have a tip. I've known several in hospital groups. One thing they all seemed to find helpful is wearing a strong rubber band like a bracelet and anytime an urge came on, popping themselves on the wrist.

A few also used ice cubes in a similar way.

And there's an app called Calm Harm that I've heard helps.

Maybe they're dumb suggestions, but I'm hoping it helps someone.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm not technically a self harmer, but maybe I have a tip. I've known several in hospital groups. One thing they all seemed to find helpful is wearing a strong rubber band like a bracelet and anytime an urge came on, popping themselves on the wrist.

A few also used ice cubes in a similar way.

And there's an app called Calm Harm that I've heard helps.

Maybe they're dumb suggestions, but I'm hoping it helps someone.

I use Calm Harm to track when I'm having urges

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I'm not technically a self harmer, but maybe I have a tip. I've known several in hospital groups. One thing they all seemed to find helpful is wearing a strong rubber band like a bracelet and anytime an urge came on, popping themselves on the wrist.

that's potentially the rubber band method she mentions, it isn't really effective to be honest!
It's also almost like saying its OK to harm yourself in this time of distress, reenforcing the pain as a coping factor, when in reality us self harmers need to find other ways to cope,
Like someone above luke warm showers help, I struggle to leave the house so I lose myself in gaming, or wrongly, and in a way self harming, I grab a large glass of neat rum!

 

[k75]

that's potentially the rubber band method she mentions, it isn't really effective to be honest!
It's also almost like saying its OK to harm yourself in this time of distress, reenforcing the pain as a coping factor, when in reality us self harmers need to find other ways to cope,
Like someone above luke warm showers help, I struggle to leave the house so I lose myself in gaming, or wrongly, and in a way self harming, I grab a large glass of neat rum!

Ah, I managed to miss the reference in the post. Sorry!
The people who liked it said it was more like it shocks you back into reality or something so you get control back, rather than being another way to harm.

 

[UninformedLover]

Yeah, Uni(n)formed Lover, let's deconstruct the urge to self harm. What other sorts of emotions were occurring around this time? Please feel free to respond any way you'd like. I would love to help you fight the urge. Lay it on me.

Also, picking ingrown (p*bic) hairs with sterile needles ? :) Probably not the same kind of high, though. Full disclosure, I'm not a cutter. So, sorry I chimed in. I don't want you to be in pain. And, that is SO COOL about your protracted "sobriety!" That is GREAT! Please talk about the accompanying emotions/life stressors that coincided with the renewed urge to cut.

I don't mind you're input,you're very insightful and I'll take any help I can get. First I wanna say thank you for trying to help in the first place and thanks to everyone else who replied.

Anyway what I felt at the time was immense emptiness. I always feel this way but this time it was worse. As if a huge chunk of me is just missing. I think that's really it. Um also lately I've been feeling really stressed out, mainly because of my mom. She's just a horrible person all around. The biggest ordeal I've been dealing with lately revolves around the fact that my mom and dad both don't ever listen to me.

When I self harm my mind feels at ease and my thoughts just cease to exist. I'm just scared I'll do something terrible and hurt myself really bad accidentally.

 

[azucaramargo]

Oh my dear Uniformed [sic] Lover! I am so touched that you responded to me! Something about your making yourself vulnerable in front of all of us it just really made me feel hope for all of us, and especially you!

I thought you did such a beautiful job articulating the relief that cutting used to bring you. I feel terrible for my late response. Not to talk about myself in your thread, but this week has been terrible for me. So, so bad it's almost funny. However
hokey this may seem, the thought of you staying strong in the face of temptation, really inspired me.

I hope to goodness you didn't cut again, but if you did, I extend no judgement. I feel bad that I didn't write earlier when you were in crisis. In addition, I so admired your coming to the forum when you were at a crossroads. I think that takes an inordinate amount of strength, and, as I said, that gesture of yours--so vulnerable and also brave-- gave me renewed hope for my own little self.

I am guessing a good bit older than you, and I will tell you that I still struggle to maintain a positive relationship with my parents.

Not to pry, but what in what respect do your parents not listen to you? What's going on with your mom?

Thank you for giving me strength & please don't let my late reply to your beautiful message diminish the gratitude and awe I feel vis-à-vis you and your heroism. All my love, Wonder Woman.

 

[UninformedLover]

Oh my dear Uniformed [sic] Lover! I am so touched that you responded to me! Something about your making yourself vulnerable in front of all of us it just really made me feel hope for all of us, and especially you!

I thought you did such a beautiful job articulating the relief that cutting used to bring you. I feel terrible for my late response. Not to talk about myself in your thread, but this week has been terrible for me. So, so bad it's almost funny. However
hokey this may seem, the thought of you staying strong in the face of temptation, really inspired me.

I hope to goodness you didn't cut again, but if you did, I extend no judgement. I feel bad that I didn't write earlier when you were in crisis. In addition, I so admired your coming to the forum when you were at a crossroads. I think that takes an inordinate amount of strength, and, as I said, that gesture of yours--so vulnerable and also brave-- gave me renewed hope for my own little self.

I am guessing a good bit older than you, and I will tell you that I still struggle to maintain a positive relationship with my parents.

Not to pry, but what in what respect do your parents not listen to you? What's going on with your mom?

Thank you for giving me strength & please don't let my late reply to your beautiful message diminish the gratitude and awe I feel vis-à-vis you and your heroism. All my love, Wonder Woman.

There is no need for apologies, but I do apologize for the late response. This weekend I found myself quite busy. Your words have touched me dearly though and I'm happy to know (and shocked) my actions have inspired you. I'm sorry to hear you've had a bad week. I can only hope for green pastures for you.

I haven't self harmed at all, although I did buy the stuff to do it - I didn't. In a way I'm kind of proud of myself, even though the urge is still there. I had saw your message earlier but only found time to reply now but throughout the day I thought long and hard about everything you said and I think it helped me be resilient in a way. If that makes sense.

As for my parents, I mean they literally just don't listen to me. I mostly mean my mom though. Whenever I tell her something she completely disregards it or I am met with disinterest. She just most of day on her phone playing some Spades game on her phone every single day. But then she expects me to be her faux therapist and give her my undying attention and support.


But..I really just want to say thank you. Everytime we talk you're always so understanding and kind to me. You're such a great person. Really.