Achlys
So tired...
- Apr 23, 2022
- 143
A bit of a rant.
Though I'm always in the state of mind to let someone shoot me if given the chance, I'm not persistently in the state of mind to pull the trigger. I've some hope, as hard as it is to see some days, but today's been too much for even me to bear. I think I could take SN/N with no regrets right now if I had some.
Insurance will only cover half of a necessary surgery I have scheduled. Estimate puts me at potentially $100k in the red. Then, today, I found I can't get an updated letter from a doctor. He keeps stalling. Problem is, the surgery is soon, and I need the letter for insurance to even cover just half the cost.
To try and take my mind off of things, I decided to bake some cookies. I was missing an ingredient, so I left to buy some, only to find my car broken into. Windows shattered. Glass everywhere—inside and out. Nothing stolen, either. I was planning on attending school tomorrow after staying home so many days in a row, but...
Too tired. Too overwhelmed.
It feels like someone took a cursory glance at my life, deemed it, "Not bad enough," and turned the difficulty up from hard to death-wish.
Why's everything so painful?
Though I'm always in the state of mind to let someone shoot me if given the chance, I'm not persistently in the state of mind to pull the trigger. I've some hope, as hard as it is to see some days, but today's been too much for even me to bear. I think I could take SN/N with no regrets right now if I had some.
Insurance will only cover half of a necessary surgery I have scheduled. Estimate puts me at potentially $100k in the red. Then, today, I found I can't get an updated letter from a doctor. He keeps stalling. Problem is, the surgery is soon, and I need the letter for insurance to even cover just half the cost.
To try and take my mind off of things, I decided to bake some cookies. I was missing an ingredient, so I left to buy some, only to find my car broken into. Windows shattered. Glass everywhere—inside and out. Nothing stolen, either. I was planning on attending school tomorrow after staying home so many days in a row, but...
Too tired. Too overwhelmed.
It feels like someone took a cursory glance at my life, deemed it, "Not bad enough," and turned the difficulty up from hard to death-wish.
Why's everything so painful?