trying to stop breathing...maybe

[Memento Mori]

if this fails: i'm looking for some fellows, in a rather similar situation. maybe we can motivate each other to not be a lazy ass instead, but is there anyone out there with constancy and possibilites to rehab


no energy to comment, no idea f this will knock me out...reached a new leve lof disturbedness. should i even sagoodbye. i may wake up anyw<ys. damn these dissociatives make u think words, actually see them, but you dont have any fucking relation to that word or idea what it could mean. its a wonder that i can type, sounds like i need mehr cognac if u wanna talk about effects of any drug feel free to pm me, i have the whole day, tryin to play games now in that state of derealisation lol. low dose roulez ♥ love and peace, i will show up again even more as a zombie as yet. everyone tells me i look bad, i need 15hours sleep a day lol. is this the 500+mg benzos i killed or is this my body being used to that constant state of rape? so why dies the ket<mine hol me awake for 2 days now before that i slept fine but now theres no time, maybe this is like a crystal junkie feels. never sleep no break from thinking about the next line. what if i run out of stuff? better prepare for that. i love spamming this forum, so i need no diary i wouldnt read it anyways i guess? :( and can learn to stop writing romans to people about shit they dont brag about time for some pvp slaughter seeeeeeeee yaaa



oh and my breathing is constantly at a heavy point for 2-3 days now, i felt good but today i feel like shit. maybe reduce alcohol, it feels like it just doesnt fit in bigger amounts. i have 2 breath depressant substances, plus alcohol, and i'll add some opiates tomorrow. gueess it will be something like tilidin, hopefully oxycontin, and tramadol is shit because of serotonine syndrome (i only know the roboflip death from dxm(dissco)+mdma(sero-releaser)).

is there any plant or shit i can throw into to make it easier to pass out? im not that sleepy yet i think i can make some more days, there's also caffeine and speed

i should reload my nose now this shit took half an hour to write and to corect, it feels like the complete keyboard is delayed to north-east. bad english lol.

wish me luck in...freedom i guess? or ultimate carelessness...i still need to say goodbye so ill have to do that before adding the opiates.

is there any risk like brain damage if i'm just permanently ultimate high on multiple substances? ie olneys lesions?

damn questions over questions, handle me overrr det fuckin N mate!

eiit: i iwll update. for what i can say ketamine is also a good breathing depressant but combination with all the other ones, if it is that peaceful, idl... i will keep at low dosage to push everything else. but i can relate to many feelings i had from dissociatives alredy
either i want this to fuckin blow me away or hand me over to psych ward but no fuckin money and that place is hell too
these days were too much. i stop not venting and go back into my inner self, i need more than feeling my heartbeart in my whole body, give me enlightenment! or else im dead soon makes no sense trying to make a dog speak
oh i should mention that i took about 350mg ketamine and 700mg pure thienodiazepine powder, cant count the alcohol its everywhere lol

 

[Memento Mori]

breathing got heavier, feels like on the top of a mountain lol., but it doesnt look like this shit will kill me some time...parent is also around even though he would check up tomorrow night the earlierst. i dont want this room to be doomed my by death lol but waiting is waiting waiting i will wiat forever
maybe its timw now- i wish i knew where i lost that tilidin in my room i need at least one moree day to get opiates

just wanted to say that i really appreciated this place

this is my second try to release myself this time there is no more self care, i wonder what she would say right now...damn i cant even type why thibking

a last i love you will do the job and some day she will hear thst died after she struggled with my message

breath depressants are wonderful

i wonder if jupiter and sinbad had a peaceful going

i take another 30mg of this shit and continue until its left...either die or wake up with bad withdrawahl, its been two weeks of benzos and one week of keta now. lol. i love the shitty life

wish you the best ♥

 

[Macc Lad]

if this fails: i'm looking for some fellows, in a rather similar situation. maybe we can motivate each other to not be a lazy ass instead, but is there anyone out there with constancy and possibilites to rehab


no energy to comment, no idea f this will knock me out...reached a new leve lof disturbedness. should i even sagoodbye. i may wake up anyw<ys. damn these dissociatives make u think words, actually see them, but you dont have any fucking relation to that word or idea what it could mean. its a wonder that i can type, sounds like i need mehr cognac if u wanna talk about effects of any drug feel free to pm me, i have the whole day, tryin to play games now in that state of derealisation lol. low dose roulez ♥ love and peace, i will show up again even more as a zombie as yet. everyone tells me i look bad, i need 15hours sleep a day lol. is this the 500+mg benzos i killed or is this my body being used to that constant state of rape? so why dies the ket<mine hol me awake for 2 days now before that i slept fine but now theres no time, maybe this is like a crystal junkie feels. never sleep no break from thinking about the next line. what if i run out of stuff? better prepare for that. i love spamming this forum, so i need no diary i wouldnt read it anyways i guess? :( and can learn to stop writing romans to people about shit they dont brag about time for some pvp slaughter seeeeeeeee yaaa



oh and my breathing is constantly at a heavy point for 2-3 days now, i felt good but today i feel like shit. maybe reduce alcohol, it feels like it just doesnt fit in bigger amounts. i have 2 breath depressant substances, plus alcohol, and i'll add some opiates tomorrow. gueess it will be something like tilidin, hopefully oxycontin, and tramadol is shit because of serotonine syndrome (i only know the roboflip death from dxm(dissco)+mdma(sero-releaser)).

is there any plant or shit i can throw into to make it easier to pass out? im not that sleepy yet i think i can make some more days, there's also caffeine and speed

i should reload my nose now this shit took half an hour to write and to corect, it feels like the complete keyboard is delayed to north-east. bad english lol.

wish me luck in...freedom i guess? or ultimate carelessness...i still need to say goodbye so ill have to do that before adding the opiates.

is there any risk like brain damage if i'm just permanently ultimate high on multiple substances? ie olneys lesions?

damn questions over questions, handle me overrr det fuckin N mate!

eiit: i iwll update. for what i can say ketamine is also a good breathing depressant but combination with all the other ones, if it is that peaceful, idl... i will keep at low dosage to push everything else. but i can relate to many feelings i had from dissociatives alredy
either i want this to fuckin blow me away or hand me over to psych ward but no fuckin money and that place is hell too
these days were too much. i stop not venting and go back into my inner self, i need more than feeling my heartbeart in my whole body, give me enlightenment! or else im dead soon makes no sense trying to make a dog speak
oh i should mention that i took about 350mg ketamine and 700mg pure thienodiazepine powder, cant count the alcohol its everywhere lol

i've got headache after reading all that!

 

[Memento Mori]

still around aftrt sleeping - txping iss inctredibly hard hpö
o meeded sp,e wprds tp ,ale e, readaböe- brain and momeory doesnt function anymore vant find the reight keys to type

as i zhought his is not gonna akill me but

i nave news. good and bad ones at the same time: there are noo news. lol

continuingon this addict shit anf if im lucky i end u p dead somewhee at the river after feeding swans. thats a must do before! already cant even walk i fall down every secnd time i try to walk lol#

whish me luck for what i deserve i dont care what hapens but yiu can call his a ctb try on lunatic mode, i still have to clear some things..but if not then im dead. thy will understand

i wouldnt appreciate this method excdpt u have 1kg shit of cocaine and heron

since i like these states if drowsyness from polytox cominations my hedonism kicks in and this timee it has to kil me instead og mskr mr lazy obese snff careless

some people might jut not be able to vhange theirselves. need sme more coffee and stuff or else im honna sleep AGAIN - ô.ô that evil hypersomnia vs insomnia. i hate waking up at 6-7am every day and theres nothing to do then lots of drugs thsat make u unable to walk straight...i look likr n alcoholic now lol.



o szoöö hpüe someone has spme knowledge about slowing the metabolism amd ocrease tje effects of benzos like yi than do with other dissociatives


sorry for warst grammar eber my keyboaar is trotating and i just dont fkin! rmember where the letteres are stayed. <.hrre xouhave an example of how it would look when i dont cottrect rrtthing:

hey gux how are you doing tonigh im zozsllr lodz in my disszociate world u rwnnvwe nB< IFFERS frin giid ikd dxn bzt tgus sgut us sinetgubg duffrebt,snayve uts vecazse us kiwside.

you see? XD

i've got headache after reading all that!

would you exlain or just leave a neutral saying we have to judge iurselves?

 

[Memento Mori]

so yeah, slept about 3hours. this wont work out, even if 50-100mg doses are taken. i try to find out some more about metabolizm

i have not much left from it, still enough to be high af for 2 weeks but i'll save it. i noticed that this combination very useful against bad mood lol, but lost myself in two weeks that felt like two days. also cried a lot, but only from the ketamine, i dont know, maybe they have stretched that shit with tear gas lol

btw: do ketamine only once per time and not over days/weeks since that has very bad side effects. just to mention

guess this thread is dead now. am gonna earn more medical knowledge for breath functions, i really want to die that way now