It breaks my heart reading your story. I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much pain and hurt. There is nothing wrong with you. You are not dirty, evil or disgusting. It's not your fault that these sick bastards have decided to take advantage of you. The fault and blame lies with them. They are the ones who are evil and disgusting. It's not your fault. They are grown men, capable of deciding on their own actions and they are the ones who chose to be abusive. They didn't become evil, it was already inside them.
I feel as though your therapist is still choosing to downplay his actions, manipulation and abuse. He may not see your last email but do print it out and take it with you to the meeting, along with the 8 pages on the code of conduct that he has broken.
I don't know you, you don't know me and we're just strangers on the internet but I care about you a lot. If you need to vent or talk, please feel free to PM me.
