Hi guys, originally I posted a few days ago about how I wanted to escape my parent's house to go CTB via hanging. Well I got caught trying to leave and they called 911 and now i'm in a psych ward, but I'm told I can only be here for a maximum of 3 days since they think I've been in hospital for too long. I have permission to go out on leave from the hospital so I'm thinking I'll go out tonight and use my really long leather handbag strap to hang on a tree. I think it's better than doing it trying to escape my parent's house because then my parents won't feel guilty that I was under their care when it happened. I'm a bit scared because if the hospital finds out that i try to attempt then I get discharged immediately. The other issue is that my leave pass is only for 15 minutes, but generally they only look for a patient after they've been missing for an hour and all they do is call police to tell them that they have a missing patient so I don't think I'd actually get found. But if for some reason it didn't work or I chickened out I'd have no hospital support to fall back on because I'd be kicked out of the hospital, and the hospital actually wants to have a big meeting with me tomorrow about how they can support me which I'm terrified about because i don't think I can get better. This is the decision I want to make I just wish I had something better to do it with than a handbag strap.
I really feel for you. I'm afraid I don't have any advice on the handbag strap as I know nothing about hanging but just wanted to say you're not alone. I attempted ctb in hospital too (30 mins leave, I took an overdose) but was found and sectioned then kept in hospital against my will for 3 weeks. I'm in the UK though and sounds as though you are US so different health care system. I hope that whatever path you choose it works out for you. I wonder if it would be worth giving the hospital a chance to help you?
I've been in hospitals for most of the past 5 months and they haven't been able to help. I've even had an overdose on leave too from the hospital and was found was taken back into hospital ( but I had a choice at least and wasn't sectioned) but had to be in the ICU part of the mental health ward. I was tying nooses in my past few admissions and putting them around my neck but never jumped from the chair because I was too worried about the nurses finding me before I was brain dead and ending up brain damaged. I feel like this way could be a good solution though to that problem though.
Sounds quite tricky to do this without planning and the right equipment.
orangepotato
Student
- Mar 26, 2020
- 148
It'll be near impossible. Sorry to say. Best you can do is suck it up until you can make it out of there and try again when you're safe at home.
Even if I turn my phone off, go somewhere deserted on leave (it's dark now) and do it off a tree? That was my plan anyway for when I escaped my parent's place. i feel like it's better doing when I'm not in the care of my parents so they won't feel responsible.
It sounds like you are feeling a bit impulsive? I get like that too. If you really want to ctb though might it be better to make a clear plan, rather than rush into something? Give yourself time to be sure? Sending hugs x
Wow I am pretty fascinated by the fact that they only keep you for three days, give you a "leave" period at all, and that if you get caught trying to hurt yourself you actually get discharged. I don't know what country you are in but in the United States, in every hospital I've been in, it's a minimum stay of 7 days. You are allowed no internet, no leave, visitors only once a week, and if you get caught trying to hurt yourself? You just bought yourself another week of hospital at least. Depending on how you tried to hurt yourself you'll probably get solitary confinement or what the patients call "the booty juice" which is a shot in the ass cheek of a sedative.
Yeah I'm in Australia where and I guess in my situation they've tried sectioning me before for weeks but it didn't make me any less suicidal, so they've kind of decided what's the point of spending resources on you in hospital if you're not going to get better. Psych wards here are pretty full and under-resourced so they just tell you to manage in the community. I used to get permission to leave the hospital for 12hours a day until I overdosed on leave one time, I guess they're pretty relaxed here. We once had an american in the psych ward and he was shocked that we could smoke (and even get away with smoking weed and it's not even legal here) whenever and use our phones and have visitors whenever except if it's late at night and that's basically all hospitals here.
Also last night I went to the park, but all the trees had really thick branches that my strap wasn't long enough to around that and my neck. I guess more planning is needed. The doctor said i could leave the hospital today I wanted to so I've just left and we'll see what I can do now I'm bad at my parents home.It's pretty easy to get SN sent to my apartment but if I try to leave my parent's house the doctors have told them to call 911 and get police to stop me so it's tricky for me to go back to my apartment.
akrasia
-hugs-
- Feb 11, 2020
- 153
Just a little update: I got released from the psych ward, but then last night I got sectioned after I tried my parents called the police when they found out I left the house because they knew I leave the house to go hang myself. I got taken to hospital before I had a chance to hang, I was just in the emergency room and they were going to make a psychiatrist see me in the morning. They put me in a comfortable room with an ensuite overnight that was not designed for psych patients as no one had assessed my risk... big mistake lol. I got my shoelaces and wrapped a collar around it to make it thicker and more comfortable and tied it to a hang point in the bathroom with the door locked. It took a long time to get the right spot for partial hanging because the shoelaces are a lot thinner and harder to use than the belt I had been practicing with the night before. I must have been semi-conscious because I don't really remember what happened but next thing I know there are all these nurses and doctors around me with an alarm going off and someone had cut me down. They then had a 1 on 1 nurse with me until they took me to a 'safe' psychiatric room with none of my belongings. The psychiatrist saw me this morning, said I could be admitted to the psych ward if I wanted and I declined, so now I'm back home! Actually really impressed that I didn't get in more trouble for the attempt and get forced to go to the psych ward against my will. My mum has taken my belts off me so I'm trying to find something else I can use tonight, otherwise I'm thinking I'll use a plastic bag. I was trying to get helium today to use with the plastic bag but a lot of the ones I could find for sale nearby had 20% oxygen in them so I didn't think they'd work so I think I'll just have to tie the plastic bag around my neck and do it the hard way.
