Venting Trying again after months

[UntitledUser]

After 14 months since my last and more serious attempt, I decided to try it again.

A few things have changed but rn I'm more convinced that nothing will get better. I hate myself so much and everything is so hopeless. It's not worht it.

I want to do it next week but I keep thinking about my sister, my dad, my best friends and even my coworkers. I know I won't get to see their reactions or whatever. But it's weird to think about them while this is about me. It's for myself.

I'm miserable and I don't think there is a future for me, just fantasy. I haven't chosen the method but I will try again before March.

I just want to go.

 

[Slark]

I read some of your posts and I'm so sorry things turned out that way for you. I'm going through something very similar. I've had depression my whole life, and it's cost me a lot of money and missed opportunities. I also feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper, and sometimes I buy useless things to fill my inner void. I wish I had some hopeful advice for you, but I haven't been able to do more than drag myself along like a worm. I'm so sorry, and I truly hope you can find some peace.