I think not being able to tell anyone the truth hurts a lot though, I'm glad for this forum that it offers such a space. I won't trust family with my mental health issues since I doubt they'd take it seriously or they'd force me to keep living. With friends it can vary. Perhaps you can trust some to listen, but you might not be able to trust them to respect your wishes. I'm sorry that you've given up on happiness, I'm sure that adds even more to the exhaustion you face. I'm also very tired of living. I'm hoping I can go through with my plan to finally leave since then I can finally attain eternal sleep. Welcome to this forum by the way, and best wishes whatever you decide to do.