Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Triggers can personally be related to self harm and even watching drama programmes on the tv which may involve potential suicide attempts.
I watched a police drama and this involved a girl threatening to jump of a cliff and in a second,it transported my mind to my visit to beachy head and trying to push myself into jumping.

It brought back the momentary sense of fear and conflicting excitment in knowing i could end of my pain.
I am asking the question that may go un answered ,but if i am considered more stable then why and how long do these triggers have an effect?
As depressed and suicidal people,do we always walk a fine line between being stable or the scale tipping to the extreme
At a moments notice.
There seems to be so many triggers in my everyday life that remind me of my losses and the life i had.
Does a self harmer ever fully recover and will a once suicidal person shake those feelings so they never return when the chips are down.This exsistence is very difficult and my hibernation tendencies are present and my world seems so far from repair and it feels like its against me.!
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
I cant speak for self harm, never been down that road personally. But I liken being suicidal to being a alcoholic or any other form of addiction. It is with me now and always will be, to some degree. It will get worse sometimes when anxiety is high or I am more depressed than usual. But it will get easier when life is not always bad.

I was discharged from the care of the CMHT last year after they said I was stable. Since that time, I have had a period of being more suicidal than ever. Right now I am in a good place and certain triggers are not affecting me, but I am not stupid, I know and understand how fast it can all change. Thats the problem with mental health, it can change with little/no warning or because something like you mention triggers us and the descent starts again.

Sorry, no easy answers are there.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Thankyou @SinisterKid
I hear of people being suicidal for decades and it amazes me to their strength to not give into the thoughts .
I guess that i am searching for that glimmer of hope that tells me that i will not always feel this way and my mind can and will return to what i would consider a well balanced,sensible and relational state 99
% of the time instead of going from calm to impulsive at the toss of a coin.
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
I have always been a somewhat "glass half full" type of guy. Clouds and silver linings. I find anger really helps me. I get angry at something, seething, the total injustice of a situation angry, and suddenly I feel alive again. I want to fight that injustice, I want to hope that I can change something that needs changing. I have new neighbours above me and they are a nightmare. I let them really get to me. But then the anger started and now, no way do those fuckers win this fight.

So I am using all that emotion right now to drive me on. There are changes happening in my life and I feel that I can face them because of the anger. I am still anxious, but I can use it to push back. Hopefully, it lasts and I can at least try to reclaim something of my former self.

So there is some hope, no matter how small it might appear. But I am aware that the wheels could come off at any time.
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
About a month ago, I was reading a story about how someone had the chance to kill themselves but couldn't find the courage to do so, and that started me on my current downward spiral. So I guess I'm particularly susceptible to this stuff.
 
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BipolarExpat

BipolarExpat

Accomplished faker
May 30, 2019
698
O (Othello) < movie title


Just had it on the tv in the background....

BOOM! Gory ending

Boy strangles girl, other boy shoots other girl.

Boy shoots himself.


Triggers are everywhere. They seem elusive, tricky, surprising and impossible to ignore. They're imbedded in tv, yt, music, public places & the rest of the world around us...
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
Idk what's wrong with me, but I'm never triggered by anything bad. Only the positive stuff: Watch something heart-warming, there I go into a rage.
 
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