Triggers aren’t a joke

[BitterlyAlive_]

Considering what I'm going to talk about, this subforum seemed like the most appropriate place to post this.

Have been thinking and remembered that it's not "normal" to be very very upset, suicidal, and have constant flashbacks after people say or do something. It's not dramatic and it's not the suffering individual's fault. It's a reaction to trauma. It's being triggered.

Maybe writing this out will help someone else who goes through the same thing. It can be difficult to recognize what's really going on because the flashbacks and emotions are so overwhelming. It feels like you're forever trapped in your pain and the only way out is suicide - depending on the trauma it may feel like killing yourself while you're caught up in the acute pain is the right thing to do for everyone else. It's still valid, but it may be because you're triggered.

Thinking back, I realize that a couple of years ago I almost killed myself because I was triggered. I had constant flashbacks for many days. I had a detailed plan. Went to the place a few times where I planned to kill myself, thought a lot about what I would do before and how I would ensure it worked. Was actively working through my plan, had a date and the days surrounding it all figured out. But something came up that I wasn't expecting and I had to take a step back. I've felt a lot of shame and guilt because I didn't complete the attempt, follow completely through. But I realize now that I was very triggered and very, very suicidal as a result. I wasn't really in my right mind.

Going back to last night, maybe I could have spared myself a lot of the pain if I would have been able to take a step back and ask myself, "Do I really want to kill myself now? Do I really want to do these other things that I've planned in my mind tonight, or am I triggered and reliving the events and pain?"

….dunno how to end this. But it seemed like this fit here and maybe someone can read it and get some clarity or something. :/

 

[Nolan96]

I'm glad "triggered" jokes are finally out of fashion.

It all started when leftist groups on university campuses started saying that people with different opinions should be prohibited from thinking or speaking freely because it triggered them. Some were sincere in their misguided way, most were just manipulators. Either way, a lot of people warned them that they were inviting a backlash that would hurt people with mental health problems and unfortunately that's exactly what happened.

It's still hard to tell someone you have triggers and have them take you seriously even years later. The word is so tainted. I don't have triggers as badly as some people I know, but I find it so horrible that it's gotten like this. I wish there were an alternative word.

 

[noaccount]

@Nolan96 Hahahaha nice revisionist history there.

@BitterlyAlive_ You are right of course.

 

[Chinaski]

I'm glad "triggered" jokes are finally out of fashion.

It all started when leftist groups on university campuses started saying that people with different opinions should be prohibited from thinking or speaking freely because it triggered them. Some were sincere in their misguided way, most were just manipulators. Either way, a lot of people warned them that they were inviting a backlash that would hurt people with mental health problems and unfortunately that's exactly what happened.

It's still hard to tell someone you have triggers and have them take you seriously even years later. The word is so tainted. I don't have triggers as badly as some people I know, but I find it so horrible that it's gotten like this. I wish there were an alternative word.

Lmao, how the fuck are "triggering" jokes, perpetrated principally by right-wing knuckleheads, the fault of the left who stood in actual opposition to it?

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm glad "triggered" jokes are finally out of fashion.

It all started when leftist groups on university campuses started saying that people with different opinions should be prohibited from thinking or speaking freely because it triggered them. Some were sincere in their misguided way, most were just manipulators. Either way, a lot of people warned them that they were inviting a backlash that would hurt people with mental health problems and unfortunately that's exactly what happened.

It's still hard to tell someone you have triggers and have them take you seriously even years later. The word is so tainted. I don't have triggers as badly as some people I know, but I find it so horrible that it's gotten like this. I wish there were an alternative word.

Hmmm... What different opinions did you have that you feel like you can't speak freely about?

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Okay, one more post on that. I would like to stay on topic here, not going into things like other users or politics.

 

[Chinaski]

Hmmm... What different opinions did you have that you feel like you can't speak freely about?

Probably wise not to go there again, bearing in mind how so many people on here seem to believe people rightly expressing disdain for bigoted and hateful output is part of some authoritarian agenda of mass-silencing perpetrated by an all-powerful cabal of woke elites or whatever.

Okay, one more post on that. I would like to stay on topic here, not going into things like other users or politics.

Yeah, that's fair - l sent my reply before l saw this post, apologies

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Probably wise not to go there again, bearing in mind how so many people on here seem to believe people rightly expressing disdain for bigoted and hateful output is part of some authoritarian agenda of mass-silencing perpetrated by an all-powerful cabal of woke elites or whatever.

I just think it's funny when people hide behind the whole "different opinions" thing but fail to actually list the opinions for obvious reasons.

@BitterlyAlive_ I don't know if I have triggers, but I struggle with intrusive thoughts daily, and I wish I knew how to make them stop.

 

[Dot]

I just think it's funny when people hide behind the whole "different opinions" thing but fail to actually list the opinions for obvious reasons.

@BitterlyAlive_ I don't know if I have triggers, but I struggle with intrusive thoughts daily, and I wish I knew how to make them stop.

Trggrs r horrbl & = cn b dffclt 2 grnd urslf whn = happnng

Cld b wrth wrtng dwn / idnfyng ur trggrs s/ if u fl u wnt c.t.b u cn hlp 2 C whre thse feelngs r cmng frm

@WhiteRabbit @BitterlyAlive_ slf ws usng 'innr bondng' b/ Margrt Paul 2 wrk w/ own instrsve thghts as thy oftn cme frm a discnnctd prt of youngr slf tht = stck in st8 of trma - innr bondng hlps 2 cnnct 2 tht traumtsd prt of slf sfely - cn link u 2 sme bks if u lke

Somatc Exprncng = also dsgnd 2 hlp rleas trma whch = oftn stord in th bdy - wld b hppy 2 lnk 2 sm rscourcs fr tht also

 

[Angi]

Going back to last night, maybe I could have spared myself a lot of the pain if I would have been able to take a step back and ask myself, "Do I really want to kill myself now? Do I really want to do these other things that I've planned in my mind tonight, or am I triggered and reliving the events and pain?"

Thanks for your post. I think I know the situation you describe and I am really sad you have to go through this.

However, I fail to understand the paragraph I quoted. In case you are comfortable sharing, could you elaborate on how knowing this would have spared you pain? Pain caused by being triggered is still real pain, after all.

 

[noaccount]

Okay, one more post on that. I would like to stay on topic here, not going into things like other users or politics.

The thing is, it was a specifically political move to turn people's PTSD triggers into jokes in the first place - like Chinaski mentioned, it was spread largely by right-wing subcultures.

I'm not trying to be vague or cast aspersions, it just seems very similar to using people's triggers as jokes, to go on a thread [TW] about a woman being assaulted in India, and laugh-react to posts there while "liking" posts about how she could have done something wrong to provoke the situation.

 

[Frog]

Trggrs r horrbl & = cn b dffclt 2 grnd urslf whn = happnng

Cld b wrth wrtng dwn / idnfyng ur trggrs s/ if u fl u wnt c.t.b u cn hlp 2 C whre thse feelngs r cmng frm

@WhiteRabbit @BitterlyAlive_ slf ws usng 'innr bondng' b/ Margrt Paul 2 wrk w/ own instrsve thghts as thy oftn cme frm a discnnctd prt of youngr slf tht = stck in st8 of trma - innr bondng hlps 2 cnnct 2 tht traumtsd prt of slf sfely - cn link u 2 sme bks if u lke

Somatc Exprncng = also dsgnd 2 hlp rleas trma whch = oftn stord in th bdy - wld b hppy 2 lnk 2 sm rscourcs fr tht also

I'd like to see some sources on that research. I have literal trigger words that immediately make me sick and I have to do my OCD compulsions until I'm "clean" again. My dad used a lot of vulgar misogynistic words at me when I was a kid. Combined with a lot of strange sexual trauma, I don't know why, but one of those words he said to me immediately makes me panic and have emotional flashbacks.

 

[Nolan96]

Okay, one more post on that. I would like to stay on topic here, not going into things like other users or politics.

Are we sure just three users piling on me is enough? Maybe a dozen would be constructive to the discussion.

I wouldn't trust people who are incapable of disagreeing with someone without laughing at them, being dismissive toward them, and villainizing them to handle the sensitive issue of how triggers should be dealt with.

 

[Dot]

I'd like to see some sources on that research. I have literal trigger words that immediately make me sick and I have to do my OCD compulsions until I'm "clean" again. My dad used a lot of vulgar misogynistic words at me when I was a kid. Combined with a lot of strange sexual trauma, I don't know why, but one of those words he said to me immediately makes me panic and have emotional flashbacks.

Srry tht snds hrrbl - slf cn rl8 t/ simlr wrds & trma

Wll snd infrmatn in d.m s/ nt 2 hi-jck thrd

 

[EvilStepSister]

No. Nothing more evil (as for, maybe Schizophrenia).

Triggers are so aptly named! When that trigger is pulled, it's all over. People without trauma can never understand that, so we're just overeacting. It makes a solitary life just a little easier than trying to co-exist with people who end up belittling you, even if they don't intent to.

I've been reliving a traumatic incident from over a month ago, exactly like it happened only hours ago. It's like a nightmarish groundhog day that envelops my entire being, in horror.

Death is extreme but how else do you escape it all? Endless therapies and trauma groups did nothing. I think I'm out of ideas, too.

 

[Chinaski]

Are we sure just three users piling on me is enough? Maybe a dozen would be constructive to the discussion.

I wouldn't trust people who are incapable of disagreeing with someone without laughing at them, being dismissive toward them, and villainizing them to handle the sensitive issue of how triggers should be dealt with.

"pile on", hate to break it to you but if your opinion is dogshit people may be inclined to point it out, that doesn't represent a "pile on" as much as it represents people Exercising Their Right To Free Speech.

 

[noaccount]

OK I'm sorry I wrote "hahaha", I don't actually find it funny that you believe this thing, I find it incredibly depressing. There's a huge difference between requesting trigger warnings on materials and discussions, and "censoring" people.
Anyway, WhiteRabbit was a lot more gracious and kind and didn't laugh, just asked for specifics about how your free speech has been infringed on. So, no "three person pile-up" there.

 

[Nolan96]

"pile on", hate to break it to you but if your opinion is dogshit people may be inclined to point it out, that doesn't represent a "pile on" as much as it represents people Exercising Their Right To Free Speech.

I only just barely even expressed an opinion. Mainly I just expressed my memory of history as I experienced and lived through it.

Intentionally mocking and taunting me over that and then resorting to "it's okay that I'm being awful to you because you're wrong and I have the right to speak freely!" doesn't make you that different from people who intentionally use others' triggers against them.

I'm not calling for you to be censored but I'd like if you would all just leave me alone now.

 

[Heartaches]

Thank you.
I've been having lots of flashbacks over these past two weeks and I was wondering where they suddenly came from. I've been pretty stressed but not to the point I'm suicidal, more about feeling unmotivated, worthless or hopeless. I can't remembering certain events in my past or awful things people I cared for said to me. I'm not entirely sure what tiggered these memories as what has been causing me stress doesn't really have much to do with my "trauma", so I'm still figuring out.

But, thank you for writing this, it makes me feel less weirded-out or uncomfortable with myself and what I've been going through.
It's a difficult subject to explain, not many people understand triggers and your emotional state at that moment is pretty dire, you aren't you "normal self" so to speak, so it can turn away those who surround you.​

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Thanks for your post. I think I know the situation you describe and I am really sad you have to go through this.

However, I fail to understand the paragraph I quoted. In case you are comfortable sharing, could you elaborate on how knowing this would have spared you pain? Pain caused by being triggered is still real pain, after all.

Mmm, in the moment I feel very desperate, have a strong desire for suicide. It actually hurts and I feel a lot of guilt and shame alongside that desire? Being able to take a step back and recognize that I'm not in my right mind would help with the guilt and shame, and hopefully help me remind myself to stick to my plans (not impulsively attempt again).

So I'm still feeling the pain but able to recognize that the acuity of pain is temporary? Thus able to accept and detach myself more.

No. Nothing more evil (as for, maybe Schizophrenia).

Triggers are so aptly named! When that trigger is pulled, it's all over. People without trauma can never understand that, so we're just overeacting. It makes a solitary life just a little easier than trying to co-exist with people who end up belittling you, even if they don't intent to.

I've been reliving a traumatic incident from over a month ago, exactly like it happened only hours ago. It's like a nightmarish groundhog day that envelops my entire being, in horror.

Death is extreme but how else do you escape it all? Endless therapies and trauma groups did nothing. I think I'm out of ideas, too.

It is a nightmare. Especially when things that are meant to help, well, don't. I'm only still here for one or two more things. But I'm certainly awaiting death and the end of suffering. :/ Would rather stick to the plan than ctb as a reaction to flashbacks again, if I can…

Thank you.
I've been having lots of flashbacks over these past two weeks and I was wondering where they suddenly came from. I've been pretty stressed but not to the point I'm suicidal, more about feeling unmotivated, worthless or hopeless. I can't remembering certain events in my past or awful things people I cared for said to me. I'm not entirely sure what tiggered these memories as what has been causing me stress doesn't really have much to do with my "trauma", so I'm still figuring out.

But, thank you for writing this, it makes me feel less weirded-out or uncomfortable with myself and what I've been going through.
It's a difficult subject to explain, not many people understand triggers and your emotional state at that moment is pretty dire, you aren't you "normal self" so to speak, so it can turn away those who surround you.​

It's really tough and scary when you know you're triggered but don't know what's actually causing it. Based on what you've said, I wonder if you dissociated during the traumatic event(s). This is called peritraumatic dissociation and can definitely result in missing memories. Traumatic memories are stored differently anyway, tend to be fragmented, but it seems like dissociating during the event takes it a step further. Buries things.

Trggrs r horrbl & = cn b dffclt 2 grnd urslf whn = happnng

Cld b wrth wrtng dwn / idnfyng ur trggrs s/ if u fl u wnt c.t.b u cn hlp 2 C whre thse feelngs r cmng frm

@WhiteRabbit @BitterlyAlive_ slf ws usng 'innr bondng' b/ Margrt Paul 2 wrk w/ own instrsve thghts as thy oftn cme frm a discnnctd prt of youngr slf tht = stck in st8 of trma - innr bondng hlps 2 cnnct 2 tht traumtsd prt of slf sfely - cn link u 2 sme bks if u lke

Somatc Exprncng = also dsgnd 2 hlp rleas trma whch = oftn stord in th bdy - wld b hppy 2 lnk 2 sm rscourcs fr tht also

Somatic experiencing is absolutely useful for trauma. It's almost like reconciliation. Safely reconnecting with yourself, your memories, your body.

 

[Heartaches]

It's really tough and scary when you know you're triggered but don't know what's actually causing it. Based on what you've said, I wonder if you dissociated during the traumatic event(s). This is called peritraumatic dissociation and can definitely result in missing memories. Traumatic memories are stored differently anyway, tend to be fragmented, but it seems like dissociating during the event takes it a step further. Buries things.

Oh, I've never heard of that or thought about it that way, I always believed it was due to my preexisting bad memory, I forget lots of things easily, especially minute details; but I feel that your explanation is more reasonable as to why I've forgotten a lot of things that happened to me in the past. I'm a little shocked honestly, not entirely sure what to make of it.

I wonder if my depression had a part in it. I tend to dissociate heavily during depression episodes, and they happen on a regular basis.

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. ​

 

[SadJessu]

"pile on", hate to break it to you but if your opinion is dogshit people may be inclined to point it out, that doesn't represent a "pile on" as much as it represents people Exercising Their Right To Free Speech.

OK I'm sorry I wrote "hahaha", I don't actually find it funny that you believe this thing, I find it incredibly depressing. There's a huge difference between requesting trigger warnings on materials and discussions, and "censoring" people.
Anyway, WhiteRabbit was a lot more gracious and kind and didn't laugh, just asked for specifics about how your free speech has been infringed on. So, no "three person pile-up" there.

This is a suicide board. People here do NOT need this kind of crap. If you have a difference of opinion, then move on, you never know when the snide shit you say online could cause someone to end it. Unless it's supportive towards other users it shouldn't be said. This isn't some political turf war.

 

[Chinaski]

This isn't some political turf war.

In which case people should probably not hijack threads by making bullshit political swipes. I'm not sure what is with people on here which makes them think THIS IS A SUICIDE BOARD is the ultimate protector against negative feedback after espousing absolutely rancid opinions.

 

[SadJessu]

In which case people should probably not hijack threads by making bullshit political swipes. I'm not sure what is with people on here which makes them think THIS IS A SUICIDE BOARD is the ultimate protector against negative feedback after espousing absolutely rancid opinions.

I'm not going to derail the tread any further by engaging in nonsense. If you want to talk politics go to Reddit.

 

[Chinaski]

I'm not going to derail the tread any further by engaging in nonsense. If you want to talk politics go to Reddit.

You need to direct that to the person who literally *derailed the thread with politics* and not those who rebutted his nonsense. He's easy to find, he faved your post and you heart-reacted his derailment.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Oh, I've never heard of that or thought about it that way, I always believed it was due to my preexisting bad memory, I forget lots of things easily, especially minute details; but I feel that your explanation is more reasonable as to why I've forgotten a lot of things that happened to me in the past. I'm a little shocked honestly, not entirely sure what to make of it.

I wonder if my depression had a part in it. I tend to dissociate heavily during depression episodes, and they happen on a regular basis.

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate it. ​

Depression can cause dissociation as well. Dissociation is the brain's attempt to keep you safe. And you're very welcome.