I was at work and this customer purchased this knife, the one they use to open packages and shit. And now my arms are itching. I don't have an addiction with self harm but I really want to right now. I really want to (sorry don't read this if you trigger easy) grab a knife and just drag it across my skin so fucking deep. I don't wanna talk to my therapist about this cuz then I'll have to acknowledge why I cut and maybe I'm just not ready for that. I just want to bleed. To breathe. To not feel like a fucking abnormal person. Like I just feel like I'm faking it and everyone can see through my act, can see that I don't belong here and I want to not feel like a complete fucking loser.
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puppet_nihilist
cogito, ergo sum
- Jan 8, 2021
- 227
I relate to this on some level. I don't take myself seriously because I don't cut, it's like my suicidality is just an act or a twisted fantasy or a show, although I wish I were having some fun at least, instead it interferes with life and causes me to be dysfunctional. I feel you, I hope you can find some consolation somehow.
I can relate.
Depression and desperation can make us do whatever.
However, take into account that that's not a good idea at all and you'll just suffer and end up worse than your current situation.
Hope you can feel better soon!
Hugs and love,
Matt
Depression and desperation can make us do whatever.
However, take into account that that's not a good idea at all and you'll just suffer and end up worse than your current situation.
Hope you can feel better soon!
Hugs and love,
Matt
