Venting Tried Partial hanging today

[UninformedLover]

I had an absolutely terrible day today (harassed by some teenager while walking outside with my younger sister) but it made me more determined to get my stuff together so I can ctb.

A few minutes ago I had the overwhelming urge to just try my method just to see how it would go and it was an interesting experience. My method is partial hanging. I tried it in my bathroom on these bars I have in my tub.
My vision started to go quickly. It was a lot of black splotches that started to mix in with my sight. This is a good sign right?

But my neck hurt so much. The second time I tried it my hearing started to go but my vision was fine. Neck still hurt.

But the whole entire time I was just so scared. My heart was thrumming in my chest, the carotid artery was throbbing so fast and my mind was just racing. I just had this prominent thought that I don't want to kill myself but I do. I'm certain I do....it's just...I'm worried that when it's time to do it I will chicken out or something.

But also anybody have any ideas on how to make is less painful and easier to slip into unconsciousness? Options are limited and I'm super broke but I was thinking about getting super drunk and maybe taking some NyQuil or Benadryl or something. Not sure yet.

I don't know what to do right now. I'm not sure if I should reach out to my therapist or tell her next week or keep it to myself or what

 

[tercermundista]

Good luck with that. I tried that method too, and it didn't work for me. Now I'm going to try the ligature method.

 

[snwcolt]

I've been trying for the last week and having the same experience. I'm considering giving full suspension a try but that has its own drawbacks. I also considered a similar thing to your other idea by mixing alcohol with a high dose of Seroquel but I'm not confident in the success of that one and tbh I think Benadryl or NyQuil would be even less likely to work.

The other two thoughts I've had are to either buy some nitrous oxide tanks at the local smoke shop and do a bag method or if I get really desperate... which I'm honestly getting to that point...is to go buy/steal a 12 ga shotgun shell at Walmart then go to a pawn shop pretending to be interested in buying a gun, ask to handle one, slip the shell in, and just blow my brains out right there in the store. Idgaf about traumatizing a stranger or disrupting their business at this point.... I've gotta end this shit existence soon.

 

[bipolar22]

I hope you're using alot of padding and a reasonable thick rope.
You have to apply your entire body weight or almost. It's hard to complely close off arteries.
Knot should be on the back otherwise it can crank your neck.
I alway get some neck pain after practice but don't feel it during because closing the arteries properly gives me this intoxicated high feeling where I don't really feel anything but some euphoria. Heart racing is normal but never bothered me as I said I'm very intoxicated quickly. Gotta make sure you have a rope and padding that's thick so you can apply your full body weight. Any less it won't work.
Failed this method many times ans it always was due to not enough pressure. Really have to apply full body weight. Which means hyperventilating a bit before because no way I can breathe till I'm out.
Full suspension always works because you have your entire bodyweight closing the arteries. That's the only difference. So full body weight is needed with partial and it has to work now that I think about it

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

You should talk with your therapist about your suicidality. I guss there is a secrecy. In case you really want to die, forget partial hanging and hang yourself full.

 

[bipolar22]

You should talk with your therapist about your suicidality. I guss there is a secrecy. In case you really want to die, forget partial hanging and hang yourself full.

Talk to therapists about suicidality. Maybe being locked in a shitbox with 20 other psychotic people who throw shitty underwear on you while youre trying to sleep will give him a new life perspective. If that doesn't maybe a good old dose of haloperidol. That's good advice right there. Trust in the mental health experts they only want our best.
Been in psychward for 4 months. Most traumatizing expierience. I would NEVER mention the word suicide around these expert therapists.

Full hanging is much harder than partial since SI much stronger and no control once the stool or chair is kicked away. I have seen ppl choke slowly to death because they fucked up the noose . So it's not as simple as just go full suspension.
Otherwise noone would do partial if full was so easy to pull off.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Talk to therapists about suicidality. Maybe being locked in a shitbox with 20 other psychotic people who throw shitty underwear on you while youre trying to sleep will give him a new life perspective. If that doesn't maybe a good old dose of haloperidol. That's good advice right there. Trust in the mental health experts they only want our best.
Been in psychward for 4 months. Most traumatizing expierience. I would NEVER mention the word suicide around these expert therapists.

Full hanging is much harder than partial since SI much stronger and no control once the stool or chair is kicked away. I have seen ppl choke slowly to death because they fucked up the noose . So it's not as simple as just go full suspension.
Otherwise noone would do partial if full was so easy to pull off.

Obviously I am naive about medical secrecy.

Of course you have to by really determined to die when you step of the stool. There is no turning back once you hang full, but that is exactly what you wanted.
Nobody chokes slowly and there is no way to fuck up the noose, I know from experience.

 

[bipolar22]

Obviously I am naive about medical secrecy.

Of course you have to by really determined to die when you step of the stool. There is no turning back once you hang full, but that is exactly what you wanted.
Nobody chokes slowly and there is no way to fuck up the noose, I know from experience.

That's not what ppl want that's why they choose partial over full hanging. Otherwise why not all jump. Easy. Very reliable. But people have emotions. Fears.
And the second part about noone chockes to death. bs again.
Gotta do some research buddy. This is all nonsense so far tbh. Literally on here someone uploaded videos of ppl fucking up full suspension and chocking painfully. Maybe before you sign up so you might not know. Still the confidence with how you said it. Ugh let's not talk again

 

[charcoalcat]

I had an absolutely terrible day today (harassed by some teenager while walking outside with my younger sister) but it made me more determined to get my stuff together so I can ctb.

A few minutes ago I had the overwhelming urge to just try my method just to see how it would go and it was an interesting experience. My method is partial hanging. I tried it in my bathroom on these bars I have in my tub.
My vision started to go quickly. It was a lot of black splotches that started to mix in with my sight. This is a good sign right?

But my neck hurt so much. The second time I tried it my hearing started to go but my vision was fine. Neck still hurt.

But the whole entire time I was just so scared. My heart was thrumming in my chest, the carotid artery was throbbing so fast and my mind was just racing. I just had this prominent thought that I don't want to kill myself but I do. I'm certain I do....it's just...I'm worried that when it's time to do it I will chicken out or something.

But also anybody have any ideas on how to make is less painful and easier to slip into unconsciousness? Options are limited and I'm super broke but I was thinking about getting super drunk and maybe taking some NyQuil or Benadryl or something. Not sure yet.

I don't know what to do right now. I'm not sure if I should reach out to my therapist or tell her next week or keep it to myself or what

How can it be painful are you using a shoelace or something? The only time I felt pain was when I had the noose on my trachea. If you place it above trachea it shouldn't be painful, just very strong discomfort. When your vision started to go it means you're on the right track. As long as you can bite your teeth through that 5 to 10 seconds disorientation phase and resist aborting, you'll go.

Full hanging is much harder than partial since SI much stronger and no control once the stool or chair is kicked away. I have seen ppl choke slowly to death because they fucked up the noose . So it's not as simple as just go full suspension.
Otherwise noone would do partial if full was so easy to pull off.

Agree. For partial if you sense that placement is wrong or anything you can fine-tune it till you get it right, then what's left is fighting SI. For full you only get one chance and you won't get to adjust because once you drop there's no turning back. If placement is bad it means you're gonna choke to death. I certainly don't want my final moment on earth choking to death.

 

[Readytogo246]

do not tell your therapist. they will sabotage it for you