Trapped in my life

[YesimDaniel]

Hi to everyone, I want to explain a little bit my situation. My name is Daniel and I'm the only son of my parents, I always lived my life alone cause my parents both work so in the mornings I used to attend the school and in the afternoon I used to do all my stuff until the evening when my parents return back home. Yes, I have a lot of friends but I usually see them in the weekends so during the week I was pretty alone and I felt always fine about this situation. When I finished my high school I didn't want to start a university career so I applied to some jobs, in majority in restaurant field in the kitchens. I did it for two years and they it was a dark moment for me because my parents quite everyday told me that I had to apply to the university and choose what to do in my life. It was terrible, I felt everyday like an useless person and my anxiety increased a lot, my will to do things had waned and I felt depressed even because I used to saw my friends only few times due to my work. I was really alone. After this two years I decided to apply to an university, it was like a rebirth for me, I moved in an another city to study and I met some new people. I spent my time well and the things that I studied were interesting for me. The first 6 months were great and I get some positive results, the other 6 months were greater, I made some good friends in my same course but above all I met a girl always in my course. She was very beautiful and smart but I didn't do nothing cause I thought she had a boyfriend but it was not like that. We started talking one day and the complicity was very high, it was like a spark. I started a relationship with her, I never had a relationship before except some experiences that I had when I was in the high school. The time flew with her and there was a lot of chemistry between us. It was the brighter moment of my life because she was the only person that I really loved except my parents until one day after some months on a sunny morning of august she broke up with me by text. She broke my heart and I felt very bad also when I was thinking about all my mistakes everyday. The university started in September but my mind was still on her, we only had discussion in the first days and then we never spoke again. We saw each other everyday at the lessons but we were like unknown people. It started a very bad moment for me until today, seeing her everyday hurts, above all now, that she is dating an another person in our same course and I have also to endure this situation. Now I really feel trapped in my life, I don't feel pleasure doing things and althought I know a lot of people in the city were I live I really feel alone and I can't enjoy the time with my friends and study. I feel like depressed but when I'm with my friends I wear a happy mask to cover my mood. I'm not able to find a way out and I have to admit that I had some suicidal thought in the past weeks. If anyone has suggestion I will really appreciate that. Thank a lot

 

[DeadHead]

What you are experiencing is normal. Be kind to yourself. I'm old enough to be your granny. When I was a teenager, my "best" friend kissed a boy I liked. I was blind with rage and despair and wanted to kill myself.

Three months later, I'd forgotten about it and realised how dumb I'd been.

As a young woman, I got with my first boyfriend at 21. We were together for 4 years. One night he disappeared. I later found out he'd had sex with the biggest whore in town. I was devastated, got physically sick, lost weight. It took me years to get over it.
Later I found out the whore had died from chronic drug use. I no longer cared about her or him. What I'm saying, as harsh as it sounds, is that this is a normal part of life. I'm in no way intending to minimise your pain. Please hang on in there. You have your whole life ahead of you.