You ever think you are destined for more than this?
I could
Transition, be medicated, chemically castrated, and happy in the same way a dog is happy with a ball.
Or I could fight it, fight it more.Take care of myself, stop all this disgusting tranny faggot bullshit.
Wanting men sexually, wanting to be a woman. I'm just deranged.
Men can't be woman, I will never be a woman and I wasn't intended to be one. It's better to live a numb disassociated life that is worth something, where you have kids and a family rather than wasting it all and becoming some fat ugly freak eunuch who demands people call him something he isn't.
This world is disgusting. I'm no better than it. I'm losing the fight against my own mind. I need God. Demons have taken over me. I'm dead. I'm a living being controlled by a corpse mind. Nothing is left but empty thoughts and vague irrelevancies. I may be a woman on some ambiguous metaphysical level, but I am equally a biological, chromosomal male. Nothing I can do will change either thing and stitching myself a plastic face with a plastic torso and a plastic pussy will just rip from me what I am. Running away from the pain and hurt into this supposed saving grace, there no lie any answers to your problems. Only destruction.
You, I, we, stare death in the face. Or am I already death? The monster bearing it's tusks and pharyngocele, would it not be the same death that lurks behind you? Rather than hide it shows itself in plain sight. It is you, me, I, we.
I am death, destroyer of my own world. Destroyer of my own fate, destroyer of the person I could have been. A father to many, a mother to few, a woman a man a thing a being an entity. Nothingness. The clouds of awkwardness and blankness that surrounds all. Numbness. Despair. Loneliness. Contempt. Nothing awaits you traveler. We all die for naught. The earth keeps spinning and you won't be here to see it. Pipedream. Bones. Chaos. War. Why not love yourself? Why condemn yourself to a life of hatred?
Is a life of farinelli bliss not better than eternal psychomachia?
"Besides the Sun there may be moonlight but if the Sun were removed there would be no Moon to see. What would Christianity now be if the Roman Church has in fact been destroyed?" – Letter 250, The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien
Are you/I/we too far gone? The mind has been cut from the body. Depersonalization disorder? Body dysphoria disorder? Disassociative personality disorder? Autism Spectrum Disorder? Clutching at straws it's obviously Gender Dysphoria Disorder dumbass.
"My body was there, but my mind and spirit were somewhere else. It was like I was a shell of a human, but the mind and spirit were off doing the work I needed in order for me to recognize my higher self when I had finally arrived. And I did, years later.
Just keep going, and take it one day at a time." - Jessica Cee