C
citadelofme
Member
- Sep 29, 2024
- 8
i know that it is selfish to want to be hit by a train, i know that it can cause trauma to other people. there are not many ways i can think of to ctb in australia (especially since i am in perth which is mostly isolated from the most popular parts of australia)
SN seems impossible to get my hands on, as well as me being unemployed so definutely not enough money to be able to afford everything id need. i have no access to any guns, hanging myself seems too slow and painful. i am scared of failing and being put in a psych ward if i overdose and then fail. jumping from a high place seems like there is too much of a chance of me failing and being permanently paralysed and then life would be a million times more shitty than it already is. slitting my wrists seems like too high of a chance of failure. if anyone even suspects me being suicidal i will probably be sent to a psych ward immediately, i have beeing cutting and burning myself since i was 9 and everyone knows that so i am constantly being treated like i am "sick" and they are constantly watching out for me.
there are train tracks within walking distance of me, they are almost completely uncovered so it would be pretty easy to walk in front of a train or lay down on the tracks. i assume that i am less likely to die if i walk in front of the train near the station as the train will slow down and there will be lots of people around.
there are parts in the middleish of the tracks where i can climb over a pretty short fence (probably like double my height but i would still be able to climb over it pretty easily) i have not checked if there are employees or anyone who would catch me climbing the fence but i will check the next time im near the tracks. the side that i can climb over is hidden by trees and people in the houses near the tracks would not be able to see me. if im in the middleish of the tracks the train will be going its fastest im assuming (online it says the top speed of the train im looking for is around 110 km/h).
i do not know if that will be enough to kill me, hard to find stuff online as it seems as google is trying to keep me alive haha.
i wonder if it is more effective to walk in front of the train or lay down on the tracks, i fear that if i lay down on the tracks it would be too obvious and too much of a risk of being caught. ive heard jumping in front of the train is less effective.
i will try and find more stuff about the train i am hoping to be hit by, i am planning to die before 2026/2027 so i guess i have a while im just trying to find the most effective way to die.
SN seems impossible to get my hands on, as well as me being unemployed so definutely not enough money to be able to afford everything id need. i have no access to any guns, hanging myself seems too slow and painful. i am scared of failing and being put in a psych ward if i overdose and then fail. jumping from a high place seems like there is too much of a chance of me failing and being permanently paralysed and then life would be a million times more shitty than it already is. slitting my wrists seems like too high of a chance of failure. if anyone even suspects me being suicidal i will probably be sent to a psych ward immediately, i have beeing cutting and burning myself since i was 9 and everyone knows that so i am constantly being treated like i am "sick" and they are constantly watching out for me.
there are train tracks within walking distance of me, they are almost completely uncovered so it would be pretty easy to walk in front of a train or lay down on the tracks. i assume that i am less likely to die if i walk in front of the train near the station as the train will slow down and there will be lots of people around.
there are parts in the middleish of the tracks where i can climb over a pretty short fence (probably like double my height but i would still be able to climb over it pretty easily) i have not checked if there are employees or anyone who would catch me climbing the fence but i will check the next time im near the tracks. the side that i can climb over is hidden by trees and people in the houses near the tracks would not be able to see me. if im in the middleish of the tracks the train will be going its fastest im assuming (online it says the top speed of the train im looking for is around 110 km/h).
i do not know if that will be enough to kill me, hard to find stuff online as it seems as google is trying to keep me alive haha.
i wonder if it is more effective to walk in front of the train or lay down on the tracks, i fear that if i lay down on the tracks it would be too obvious and too much of a risk of being caught. ive heard jumping in front of the train is less effective.
i will try and find more stuff about the train i am hoping to be hit by, i am planning to die before 2026/2027 so i guess i have a while im just trying to find the most effective way to die.