I remember my councillor saying to me "Why do you go to the forest all the time?"
I said "You know what. Why do you think i go to the forest?
Councillor: "Because you go there to drink and... i don't know."
I find his response fascinating now, because, who the fuck in their right mind would want to be where me and the councillor where at the time. The fucking traffic, we where at ground zero of a heavy crime area (Saw someone get shot there and oh my what a beautiful experience my fellow man presented to me...pfffuck)
Now, he doesn't have a clue why i go to the forest, he is obviously at ease with the reality that is around him, no anxiety for him, nothing.Just another day on the job, then he goes back home rinse and repeat.
I basically told him :"The reason i go to the forest is to escape from the noise of society for a while, i meditate, contemplate, pray to God alot (I was a practising Catholic at the time so you can crucify me and my beliefs if you want, i dont give a flying fuck to be honest.) I drank too, smoked a little weed if i had some and i watched and listened to the wild life around me. I would rather listen to the wind going through the trees than listen to rap music blasting out of an intimidating looking car with tinted windows, not knowing wtf is about to go down.
So yeah _Minsk, i can relate alot to what you are trying to say here. I can't stand the constant swooshing of cars on the road, drives me fucking nuts. I don't remember anything worth remembering going through those fucking hoods because i was anxious and thought someone was going to rob me or pop my ass with a glock19. But i do remember that time i was smoking and drinking in the forest under the moonlight, and this white albino possum slithers right under my feet and scurries by. Now that was beautiful...that was worth remembering and to be honest, that is actually worth living for. I can see why someone would blow their brains out when their knee deep in a shitty hood where gangs have total control of the area.
I remember watching this video of a black guy who was streaming a video of a guy who just jumped in front of a subway train in fucking New York city, the concrete jungle of hell. The Black guy was like "oh daaang bro, yo yo why would you do that homie oh dang bro!" Well i can think of multiple reasons why that lil homie would rather jump infront of the train then stay another second in that loud ass city surrounded by ignorant , selfish, asshole human beings that would probably trick you for a couple of bucks if they had the chance.
I'm rambling now...so yeah i can relate.