Discussion Toxic Positivity

[AhG]

Has anybody else encountered this type of "comfort" before?
I remember when everything happened between my wife and I, I told my close "friend" what was going on and the first thing he said to me was, "You'll get over it. All you have to do is think positive and just be happy."
IMHO I believe some people have a hard time trying to comfort others in a situation they don't quite understand unless they have been through it themselves, maybe that's why they tell us these magical phrases.
What's your opinion?

 

[Mr. Hang Man]

These phrases are the most average and plain phrases you could give to someone going through a lot. The people that use these phrases don't really want to offend you, they just feel that this will help you. Others do it to shut down your emotions and basically tell you to shut up and suck it up. It all depends on the person who tells you these phrases and thier intentions.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

View attachment 9453
Has anybody else encountered this type of "comfort" before?
I remember when everything happened between my wife and I, I told my close "friend" what was going on and the first thing he said to me was, "You'll get over it. All you have to do is think positive and just be happy."
IMHO I believe some people have a hard time trying to comfort others in a situation they don't quite understand unless they have been through it themselves, maybe that's why they tell us these magical phrases.
What's your opinion?

Yes. All the f*cking time. Or you get absolutely nothing back. You could open up and share you were just stabbed in the gut & you'd hear crickets back. It's like you have to be the right kind of person to get some comfort in the support of community.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

The people who say these kinds of things always seem to lack self awareness and the capacity for deep thought. Or else have led charmed lives. It's difficult to convey true suffering and what that does to a person who's been stable and in full control of what has happened to them all their lives. I think it's just genuine ignorance in the majority of cases.

 

[EmotionlessWanderer]

People only say those phrases because they want out of your shit as fast as possible not because they care about you.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

People only say those phrases because they want out of your shit as fast as possible not because they care about you.

HELL YEAH !!!

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

...because they want out of your shit as fast as possible not because they care about you.

We should put this on a silk-screen T-shirt and THEN talk to people about our crap, making sure they're reading our T-shirt. :)

 

[TheNorthernSilence]

Those phrases are just horrible and they have the opposite effect on me.

 

[Deleted member 1496]

It may be the best solution they got at the time.

Unless they're introspective/reflective/something, it may be the only solution they got.

Which would be fine if they didn't demand their solution would work for other people's problems. Especially if each solution is 5 words or less. Psychology can be more complex than a sentence; people have written entire books on it. :)