Torn between methods

[TVtrays]

I tried to ctb last month. I hung a bungee cord at almost floor level, tightened it and payed down, putting my weight into it, blocking my carotid artery. It felt like my head was gonna pop and after 15 seconds, I stopped. I did that three times hoping I'd be able to tough it out but I couldn't.
I'm thinking of doing that again, or overdosing on opiates. I just don't know how to obtain them.
Please help. What method is better? I just want all of this to be over with.

 

[Despondent]

If you don't know how to obtain the drug, I suggest that you stick to your original method? A lot of people on the forum say that it feels like their head is going to pop off or explode, and it's normally because the method isn't being done the right way. I know that there's some threads with how you proceed with this method that you can find. I've wanted to try this method but besides not having the things that I need, I myself don't quite understand how this method is done "properly". I don't want the feeling that my head's going to pop off. I'd probably faint if that happened just by the thought.

 

[BPD Barbie]

Might be worth looking in the resources thread for other methods and see if anything there appeals to you.

 

[2manyproblems]

I was going to use hanging and just practice all the time and take the opportunity if it ever worked. I am not good at practicing. I tried a few times and so far i don't get anywhere. Now I am thinking of SN or N, because damage can be reversed and it seems easy, though getting the medicines seems complicated. I ordered the meto a day or two ago.

 

[Sensei]

TVtrays, there are other painless methods than opioids. As BPD Barbie suggests, read up before you make your decision.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

I tried to ctb last month. I hung a bungee cord at almost floor level, tightened it and payed down, putting my weight into it, blocking my carotid artery. It felt like my head was gonna pop and after 15 seconds, I stopped. I did that three times hoping I'd be able to tough it out but I couldn't.
I'm thinking of doing that again, or overdosing on opiates. I just don't know how to obtain them.
Please help. What method is better? I just want all of this to be over with.

Please take a moment to read through the megathread on hanging, in the sticked Resources thread.

What you are describing has been addressed many times. You are failing to compress your carotid and only compressing your jugular VEINS, which take blood OUT of the brain. Therefore pressure builds in your head.

Even if you choose not to go with hanging, the resources thread has a lot of other methods you can consider.

 

[Pale Blue Dot]

Maybe you didn't block your artery properly. As far as I know, you should passed out just in a few sec if you done it right, and no pressure feeling at your head since the blood cannot go through your head when you block your arteries completely. We can't tie wires strong enough than we usually think. So, what I recommend is, just hang yourself somewhere, or if you don't want to, use a cable tie with a tie gun instead.

 

[TVtrays]

Look, I know opiates aren't a good option but they're my option. They feel amazing and u can just nod off into eternity. Too bad I can't get any.
I don't fucking know I just know I'm a useless. I just want to hurt myself. I want to fucking seethe with pain until I can't take it and then some because I fuckng deserve it. I'm a stupid fucking fuck up and I deserve all this I fucking need to fucking go.
I keep trying and failing. God, I'm so fucking stupid, I probably had lead poisoning as a child.
IM A FUCKING COWARD
I just want this all to be over with

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I hope it helped to vent. Do you need something physical to let off some of this pressure that won't harm others or yourself? If yes, I have two suggestions. One is to lie on your back on the bed, and backhand the shit out of the mattress. The other is to twist the shit out of a towel.

When you are ready to hear this...
It's frustrating, but you do not have access to opiates, and you do not have the anatomy for a partial, your cartoids are too deep. I have the same problem with mine. You lack the means to accomplish what you want, not courage or intelligence. If cbt is the right answer, you will find other means. But I think you gotta release some of this pressure first in a safe way so the storm can pass and you can think clearly.

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I'm sorry you are going through this, and I hope it gets better for you.

 

[TVtrays]

I hope it helped to vent. Do you need something physical to let off some of this pressure that won't harm others or yourself? If yes, I have two suggestions. One is to lie on your back on the bed, and backhand the shit out of the mattress. The other is to twist the shit out of a towel.

When you are ready to hear this...
It's frustrating, but you do not have access to opiates, and you do not have the anatomy for a partial, your cartoids are too deep. I have the same problem with mine. You lack the means to accomplish what you want, not courage or intelligence. If cbt is the right answer, you will find other means. But I think you gotta release some of this pressure first in a safe way so the storm can pass and you can think clearly.

You're right. Honestly, in order to do this, I've got to be calm and collected so I can think clearly. I'm going to try and take the opiates route since I've had trouble with hanging methods. I've always loved opiates anyway, so I'm sorry it would be a lot more pleasant.
I have overdosed on them before and it was extremely peaceful.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

You're right. Honestly, in order to do this, I've got to be calm and collected so I can think clearly. I'm going to try and take the opiates route since I've had trouble with hanging methods. I've always loved opiates anyway, so I'm sorry it would be a lot more pleasant.
I have overdosed on them before and it was extremely peaceful.

No apologies needed. I wish you peace.