Lawliet
b a n g
- Sep 15, 2020
- 349
I'm too sick for my preferred method, SN. I have gastroparesis and this recent flare up has had my more suicidal than ever. I can't keep any food or liquid down, I've been to the ER for fluids and all o could think of was how easily it would be to slip something into my IV, if only a nurse would have and then left me there to die. I have a stomach surgery coming up this Wednesday and I just want to die during it. Why are they putting so much effort into keeping someone alive hope doesn't want it? I have such a shitty life with so many health problems galore and even though I have a very loving mother and family to take care of me I just can't handle it anymore.SN seems like the most viable option but I can't keep anything down. Even the strongest antimetics can't help me keep down water, it's a joke to think they'd keep down my SN.
I'm about to get into my fucking car and drown myself with a backpack of rocks. It's like one of the worst ways to go but I don't have to luxury of something simpler. I've been this way for ages. I'm just too much of a pussy to go through with it. My dad has a gun upstairs but I don't know how assemble it let alone use it and I'm not about to blow my face off but not die. Plus I'd have to sneak around and I just. I need help walking lmao. Fuck my life. Fuck these people prolonging it. I just want peace. And for life to leave me the fuck alone.
I'm about to get into my fucking car and drown myself with a backpack of rocks. It's like one of the worst ways to go but I don't have to luxury of something simpler. I've been this way for ages. I'm just too much of a pussy to go through with it. My dad has a gun upstairs but I don't know how assemble it let alone use it and I'm not about to blow my face off but not die. Plus I'd have to sneak around and I just. I need help walking lmao. Fuck my life. Fuck these people prolonging it. I just want peace. And for life to leave me the fuck alone.