Venting Too scared to commit

[foofuufou]

My life is hell and I know it, but I don't know if suicide will make me feel better. Will the colorless void of nothingness really be as soothing as we think it will be? I'm also scared of making a rash decision I won't be able to take back, and I know I will die eventually. At the same time I don't want to suffer anymore and I'm too fucked up for therapy and I hate my family and I have no friends. I'm an incel and there's no way I'll integrate into society.

 

[PsYc0TiC]

So, if you are in doubt, it's because something is preventing you from doing it, maybe the future will show you something better or improve your life, but if you really want to commit the act, I don't have it because it's something you won't feel pain, Of course it depends on the way you commit suicide, but that's the problem, is there something after death? Of course it depends on your religion or something you believe in.

 

[foofuufou]

So, if you are in doubt, it's because something is preventing you from doing it, maybe the future will show you something better or improve your life, but if you really want to commit the act, I don't have it because it's something you won't feel pain, Of course it depends on the way you commit suicide, but that's the problem, is there something after death? Of course it depends on your religion or something you believe in.

I'm only 18 and people say that "you don't know if your life will get better", and that is true but I don't know if my life will get worse or stay as bad as it is now. I will be doing SN or firearms personally so the pain aspect isn't it for me, it's whats afterlife. I'm not sure what religion I believe in now but I am also not sure if a god exists or not.

 

[PsYc0TiC]

I'm only 18 and people say that "you don't know if your life will get better", and that is true but I don't know if my life will get worse or stay as bad as it is now. I will be doing SN or firearms personally so the pain aspect isn't it for me, it's whats afterlife. I'm not sure what religion I believe in now but I am also not sure if a god exists or not.

Exactly, this is the biggest doubt, if there is any god, I am not encouraging you to do this act, but I would go with a firearm, it would be faster, and more practical, and you would certainly not feel any pain, because SN It takes a while for the effect, so someone can save you in time, if I'm breaking any rules please let me know.

 

[meghead]

I'm in a similar situation. When feeling this, I have this mindset of, "I shouldn't kill myself until I'm 100% that things won't get any better" so there may be in opportunity in your life that can make your life happier ( does that make sense? like if your situation will change in any way that might have you wanting to stick around a little longer?) I'm sure you may find something in your life that you'd live for. I'm sorry that you're feeling this. I'm not sure what to tell you about the afterlife. But, usually before attempting suicide, I pray. In Christian belief, you really just need too accept Jesus as your savior to be allowed into heaven; no matter what sins you may have, or how many. Not trying to convince you that Christianity is the only way, but this belief makes me hopeful of the afterlife. I hope things end up the way you want, however that may be.

 

[foofuufou]

Exactly, this is the biggest doubt, if there is any god, I am not encouraging you to do this act, but I would go with a firearm, it would be faster, and more practical, and you would certainly not feel any pain, because SN It takes a while for the effect, so someone can save you in time, if I'm breaking any rules please let me know.

Yeah I want to get a pistol like a glock or some other easy to use handgun like that. A shotgun would be hard to aim at myself, I feel like. I think its possible a god can exist but if that god exists, would he know that I'm desperate for a better life? Who knows if this god is a loving god even?

 

[PsYc0TiC]

Yeah I want to get a pistol like a glock or some other easy to use handgun like that. A shotgun would be hard to aim at myself, I feel like. I think its possible a god can exist but if that god exists, would he know that I'm desperate for a better life? Who knows if this god is a loving god even?

So, it's a difficult question, I believe in some god myself, until I'm a deist, but I wish you good luck, I hope your life gets better, think well before committing this, because a future may be waiting for you, more if you see that there is no escape, commit the act, because you will not feel any pain, and you will be able to get out of this unfair and filthy world.

 

[MsSelfsabotage]

Dealing with the same. Scared to hang myself cause I know it hurts and I don't like the feeling of suffocating. Also what if it doesn't work out and you end up with brain damage. Also too scared to jump, I'm afraid of heights. Don't want to shoot my self cause it's messy and I'm a lil vain. Would love to take Fentanyl but it's hard to get. Heroin is an option but I can't inject myself or inhale smoke -.- I just want to pop a pill and then good night. I'm so jealous of the people who have the courage to commit and just get it done and over with.

 

[summers]

Dealing with the same. Scared to hang myself cause I know it hurts and I don't like the feeling of suffocating. Also what if it doesn't work out and you end up with brain damage. Also too scared to jump, I'm afraid of heights. Don't want to shoot my self cause it's messy and I'm a lil vain. Would love to take Fentanyl but it's hard to get. Heroin is an option but I can't inject myself or inhale smoke -.- I just want to pop a pill and then good night. I'm so jealous of the people who have the courage to commit and just get it done and over with.

Don't try to od with pills, including f. Fails more often than not.

 

[MsSelfsabotage]

Don't try to od with pills, including f. Fails more often than not.

I hear about so many people who od, so can't be that hard or? I mean I would make sure I'm alone and nobody could find me that easily. Is there a thread/ post about od-ing in this forum? Need to do more research..so many pills are mixed with fentanyl nowadays..makes it easier

 

[summers]

I hear about so many people who od, so can't be that hard or? I mean I would make sure I'm alone and nobody could find me that easily. Is there a thread/ post about od-ing in this forum? Need to do more research..so many pills are mixed with fentanyl nowadays..makes it easier

I'm sure there is, but I'm not 100% on if there are any lasting effects of F od with pills. Definitely do more research if this is a method you're considering.

I know of at least two members who tried to od with H iv, and had at least temporary (maybe permanent) nerve damage. Thing is, with iv you can go way overboard and make sure you get enough into your blood stream. Guess they didn't do enough.

 

[downndone2]

Dealing with the same. Scared to hang myself cause I know it hurts and I don't like the feeling of suffocating. Also what if it doesn't work out and you end up with brain damage. Also too scared to jump, I'm afraid of heights. Don't want to shoot my self cause it's messy and I'm a lil vain. Would love to take Fentanyl but it's hard to get. Heroin is an option but I can't inject myself or inhale smoke -.- I just want to pop a pill and then good night. I'm so jealous of the people who have the courage to commit and just get it done and over with.failure rate of polls is very high. I believe I have the proper amount stockpiled but you never can be sure. I'd likely wake up in vomit or not wake up because I'm brain dead.

 

[FuneralCry]

The way I see it, when you are dead you are unable to feel anything as you will no longer exist. There will just be nothing. I understand wanting to be free from suffering, it can be dreadful when everything seems to be hopeless. I think in my case, I would only choose to ctb if I was completely certain about my decision and had no doubts. I'm sorry you are in this situation. This life can be very depressing. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Darkover]

nothing to fear but fear itself, once your gone your gone for good theres no coming back at least i hope not, i mean who would sign up to these lives before hand given the choice nobody thats who.

 

[whatevs]

If you are 18 that ain't incel material. Sure, people that do really good are banging at 16, but it isn't so far off. Plenty of time to find a life that you can tolerate when you are half-made. They say the brain doesn't stop maturing until your 20s.