Discussion Too much to let go, not enough to keep going.

[Androgynous]

Don't you feel as if you're clinging to life? You don't feel like you're living your life anymore, it feels as if you're holding on out of habit.
You're more privileged than so many people, but this abundance doesn't fill the emptiness, it just makes it harder to let go.

Sometimes I wish I could just throw my life away, for the better or for the worst, but there's just too many things going on for me to ease my grip.

It's as if your mood shifts between two kinds of numbness, one that's heavy with sadness, and one that's entirely empty.
You're in this gray area where you don't want to continue but you don't want stop either. A life you don't live.

 

[chaewon]

Lol I feel the same I have a nice car and I am tall and decently wealthy for my age, sometimes I think that if I somehow am able to get over all my suicide ideation and the episodes that make me very very suicidal and so on that I would just go to the gym again travel around stop smoking improve my looks find a new girlfriend and life COULD get better, but then once again it would take ages and that is if I can overcome my fucked up brain.

Have u gotten diagnosed and tried medication before? when im in the mood where I feel more mentally healthy I feel like the first thing that would give me a chance at a better life is getting on meds, but I hear so much stories about that industry fucking people up and meds making u zombie like and dependant on them to the point where it scares me and almost always snaps me out of my normal functioning society member mood and back into being a depressed suicidal lol

 

[carfemtanyl]

yeah I feel the same

 

[sealsarecute]

i do, i really do. i feel like ive been on autopilot for the last year or two. because i have failed so many times to kill myself and its not because of how im doing it, but because im hesitating. like some small part of me really wants to keep trying.,