BringMeToLife
I'm stuck in here
- Apr 13, 2023
- 173
It's just sad how I can't keep anyone around. I fuck everything up when things are going great and I end up spending the days, the evenings alone. Only bad people stay around me, only the people who want to use me enjoy
my company. It sucks, it sucks to always be the last option, it sucks to always feel like you are not enough and that you should change to meet people's expectations and to become the best friend for them. I don't know who I am anymore. Do my personalities change somehow dfuring the day or do I change them depending on who I'm talking with, I don't know. Sometimes I'm this, sometimes I'm that, what does it depend on? I don't know what is going on anymore. Even my gender identity changes like sometimes she, sometimes he, sometimes whatever, what is goin on? What does make me feel this way and not the other? I want to know, I don't know what's going on and I'm lost. What is happening?
I haven't had good friends in a while. I've had a friend a couple of months ago, for two months, but we fell apart. I have a wonderful boyfriend who always listens to me, but my mind is too much. He knows how suicidal I am and got kind of used to it, but he still ends up hurt whenever I start death related topics. He is just one person, the person closest to me, I can't dump everything on him, I need a friend with whom I could talk about the saddest and most disturbing thoughts. I need a friend as broken as me, as "insane" and "toxic" as me, as suicidal as me, somebody as fascinated with everything the "wrong" things as I am. If there is anyone (girls or non-binary people) who would like chat, on discord preferably, please message me, I'm starving for social interactions right now.
I don't know what this post was supposed to be anymore, "Who want's to be friends type 1 2 3" type of thing.
The cats are for comfort.
I haven't had good friends in a while. I've had a friend a couple of months ago, for two months, but we fell apart. I have a wonderful boyfriend who always listens to me, but my mind is too much. He knows how suicidal I am and got kind of used to it, but he still ends up hurt whenever I start death related topics. He is just one person, the person closest to me, I can't dump everything on him, I need a friend with whom I could talk about the saddest and most disturbing thoughts. I need a friend as broken as me, as "insane" and "toxic" as me, as suicidal as me, somebody as fascinated with everything the "wrong" things as I am. If there is anyone (girls or non-binary people) who would like chat, on discord preferably, please message me, I'm starving for social interactions right now.
I don't know what this post was supposed to be anymore, "Who want's to be friends type 1 2 3" type of thing.
The cats are for comfort.