S
soonVERYsoon
Member
- Sep 26, 2018
- 10
I know this is not the most ideal way to "ctb" or most likely not the most successful way to go, but I've been unable to go through with partial-suspension hanging.
I am not one to ever take medication for a headache or a cough, tbh, I don't remember the last time I had a cold or fever, maybe because I don't. Other to mingle with anyone else...ever. But I've have over 125 tablets of acetaminophen (excedrin, etc.). I am aware that this may cause liver damage, causing extraordinary pain. I won't be bothered until late Monday morning, and hopefully by then there is enough damage to my system to be irreversible and ultimately fatal.
My entire life I've felt unwanted. Before 2yo, I was unofficially adopted by my aunt and uncle. Apparent ly my grandmother didn't approve of this arrangement as I was abused by my aunt and u cle, especially when it came to potty training. I was under my mothercs care for a few months before I was officially placed in care of the state, living in a foster home until I was adopted by a family not longer after turning 3yo. This family was abusive both mentally and physically, and after 5 years, I was places in foster care - according to papers I received when I was 18 my "mother had lost interest."
At the end of the school year, I was visited by my social worker with news that my teacher from that year, her husband and the family they had, were interested in adopting me to be a part of their family. After 5 years, apparently from being a Piece of shit, who ran away, I was placed in a boys home...my father, who played the role of Santa during the holidays, had his hands under my underpants a few times...I was used as a scapegoat for my older brothers, primarily one. I wasn't entirely innocent, but by far less troublesome than they had made me out to be... i got tired of being blamed for ridiculous things and ran away. Was placed in a psychiatric facility, then in a boys home.
I cant continue...but I am done. Done. Done. Have had my last meal...and plan to down these bottles, hoping to finalize my existence.
I am not one to ever take medication for a headache or a cough, tbh, I don't remember the last time I had a cold or fever, maybe because I don't. Other to mingle with anyone else...ever. But I've have over 125 tablets of acetaminophen (excedrin, etc.). I am aware that this may cause liver damage, causing extraordinary pain. I won't be bothered until late Monday morning, and hopefully by then there is enough damage to my system to be irreversible and ultimately fatal.
My entire life I've felt unwanted. Before 2yo, I was unofficially adopted by my aunt and uncle. Apparent ly my grandmother didn't approve of this arrangement as I was abused by my aunt and u cle, especially when it came to potty training. I was under my mothercs care for a few months before I was officially placed in care of the state, living in a foster home until I was adopted by a family not longer after turning 3yo. This family was abusive both mentally and physically, and after 5 years, I was places in foster care - according to papers I received when I was 18 my "mother had lost interest."
At the end of the school year, I was visited by my social worker with news that my teacher from that year, her husband and the family they had, were interested in adopting me to be a part of their family. After 5 years, apparently from being a Piece of shit, who ran away, I was placed in a boys home...my father, who played the role of Santa during the holidays, had his hands under my underpants a few times...I was used as a scapegoat for my older brothers, primarily one. I wasn't entirely innocent, but by far less troublesome than they had made me out to be... i got tired of being blamed for ridiculous things and ran away. Was placed in a psychiatric facility, then in a boys home.
I cant continue...but I am done. Done. Done. Have had my last meal...and plan to down these bottles, hoping to finalize my existence.