Archness
Defective Personel
- Jan 20, 2023
- 579
I literally sh right before writing this.
Just came upon some scissors broken in two, one of them fit snugly in my hand. SH came to mind, I posed with it in the mirror a bit, then cut.
Well, my mind's still unexpectedly clear and composed for such actions. Maybe it's not because my urges to SH are strong, but my sheer indifference lets me... I guess hear that dark voice and act on it.
Seems interesting, it just about draws blood, so it's not real damage atleast. Wonder a bit abt what others may say about this? My attitude towards it, shown here?
I guess I do it, to prove a point to myself. Not really to calm myself or "pleasure". Tho there is a certain sensation in my brain, not exactly pleasure or a good feeling, but a subtle satisfaction at the work done. Maybe it is a good feeling? I won't indulge much further, as much as I will.
That indifference to myself kinda relates to my suicidallity. Kinda interested if others who SH could understand me somewhat.
Just came upon some scissors broken in two, one of them fit snugly in my hand. SH came to mind, I posed with it in the mirror a bit, then cut.
Well, my mind's still unexpectedly clear and composed for such actions. Maybe it's not because my urges to SH are strong, but my sheer indifference lets me... I guess hear that dark voice and act on it.
Seems interesting, it just about draws blood, so it's not real damage atleast. Wonder a bit abt what others may say about this? My attitude towards it, shown here?
I guess I do it, to prove a point to myself. Not really to calm myself or "pleasure". Tho there is a certain sensation in my brain, not exactly pleasure or a good feeling, but a subtle satisfaction at the work done. Maybe it is a good feeling? I won't indulge much further, as much as I will.
That indifference to myself kinda relates to my suicidallity. Kinda interested if others who SH could understand me somewhat.
