Tomorrow

[Alcal]

So I've just found out I've lost my job. I've been planning to CTB for a while now and this has been the last straw. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot put up with these feelings that feel like a hole is being ripped inside of me. I have lost everything in the space of just a month and I can't do it anymore.

I'll keep you all updated tomorrow and I'm sorry I haven't been able to know you all better. I hope that there is a God and I hope there is a heaven. If not then just peace will do. I'm a good person and yet time and time again my life keeps getting ripped apart. I can't do it anymore.

My plan is to jump off a cliff tomorrow. I'll have a couple beers beforehand, send a few emails to the people I love and then jump. Part of me is glad that this will finally be over.

I just can't do it anymore. I hope my family and my girlfriend will understand.

Alcal

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

So I've just found out I've lost my job. I've been planning to CTB for a while now and this has been the last straw. I cannot do this anymore. I cannot put up with these feelings that feel like a hole is being ripped inside of me. I have lost everything in the space of just a month and I can't do it anymore.

I'll keep you all updated tomorrow and I'm sorry I haven't been able to know you all better. I hope that there is a God and I hope there is a heaven. If not then just peace will do. I'm a good person and yet time and time again my life keeps getting ripped apart. I can't do it anymore.

My plan is to jump off a cliff tomorrow. I'll have a couple beers beforehand, send a few emails to the people I love and then jump. Part of me is glad that this will finally be over.

I just can't do it anymore. I hope my family and my girlfriend will understand.

Alcal

Hey! I'm truly sorry what is happening to you. Unfortunately no matter how good of a person is, life just likes to fuck it up for all. Sucky as hell. However may I ask the height of the cliff? Thanks and much love from me sending your way

 

[Alcal]

Hey! I'm truly sorry what is happening to you. Unfortunately no matter how good of a person is, life just likes to fuck it up for all. Sucky as hell. However may I ask the height of the cliff? Thanks and much love from me sending your way ❤

Hi,

It's about 300 feet in height so it should be a done thing once I jump.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Hi,

It's about 300 feet in height so it should be a done thing once I jump.

Woah 300 feet is high. I was just asking to make it was high enough though. I wanna say good luck on jumping because of how strong SI is. But I hope you find peace soon on whatever path you take, hit me up if you ever need to talk about anything (: much love and support!

 

[Ghost2211]

Sorry to hear about the job loss. You are braver than I am if you can make yourself jump.

I hope you find relief and peace.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Gosh, thats a big jump.

I hope your transition is as successful and gentle as it can be.

Love and peace ❤

 

[Skyview]

Ultimately it's your decision, I would say this though , sometimes we have to be strong and fight for what we believe in . Fight for yourself and for your independence. Only one person in life is going to look after you and that's YOU ! Family and girlfriend are your best friends and will give you the support you need or you can turn your back to them and walk away .....forever .

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'm so sorry it's all come to this. I know the feeling well after I lost my job recently. Remember, there are other options other than jumping. But if you're able to, I hope its quick and peaceful for you. We are here if you need us for anything. Sending love

 

[Soul]

@Alcal, I'm sorry you've had such a struggle. If this is what you've decided, I wish you a smooth exit. Journey well x

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I'm sorry things have gotten so bad. If you choose to ctb I wish you a peaceful journey.

 

[mesohappy]

I hope you find your heaven and peace no matter what you decide to do.At least you have till tomorrow to think on things a little bit.

 

[Alcal]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm on the train now going to where i'll jump. I've got between 3-5 hours left until I go. I'll keep this updated. I know it's silly but I don't want to die alone.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm on the train now going to where i'll jump. I've got between 3-5 hours left until I go. I'll keep this updated. I know it's silly but I don't want to die alone.

I can guarantee you won't be alone, members all around the world will be holding you in their thoughts.

Surrounding you with love and light ❤

 

[randomz]

You will definetely not be alone but I still gotta ask - is not there anything left to live for? a job loss can be devastating, true, but there are other jobs in the world, you have a family and a GF is not it worth it to live for them?

 

[Alcal]

There really isn't- there's more to it than just the job. Losing my job was the final thing that did it- I just couldn't cope. I've written the note and will call my gf before I go to say goodbye. Thankyou so much to those of you who are with me. It means so much and I am so grateful

 

[Hopeindeath!]

I wish you peace in whatever you decide.

 

[Alcal]

I'm about two hours from going now. Thank you to everyone for the messages.
Here's a joke to pass the time...
I had two fish. I called one of them one and the other two. That way if one dies I still have two.

 

[SugarbushMtn]

Peace and freedom to you

 

[Flinkster]

I hope you find the peace that you seek.
Feel the hugs, love and support from us

Whatever you decide, we support u.
Good travel

 

[MsMaudlin]

((((((Love and light))))))

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

May you find your wings just when you need them. Not a moment too soon, not a moment too late.

We are still here for you and you are not alone.

 

[Pol]

That's really really high. I wonder how long it would take. (let me read physics 101).

I envy you. I have a fear of heights, and I dread the thought of waking up days later in a hospital just because I picked the wrong spot to jump.

may you find peace.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Alcal: it's so sad what you're going through and I'm sorry you ended up here. I wish you the best in whatever you choose. Hugs.

Timey-Dusty

 

[Alcal]

I couldn't do it- I came hours out, climbed and climbed and stared out for why seemed eternity and I chickened out. I'm so disappointed in myself and just so sad right now. I will have to find another way. I'm sorry I wasted everyones time. I'm so pathetic I can't even jump off a bloody cliff.

 

[MsPotts]

You're not pathetic. You'll find peace some how.

 

[mesohappy]

CTB is a serious step and a hard decision to make brother.And SI is no joke.Maybe get some rest and think/consider things a little longer.You aren't "pathetic or chicken"..Just a little confused right now.You've been going through some major changes in your life.At least you know you still have the option in your back pocket.Hang in there bud.

 

[deadmalk]

You haven't wasted anyone's time. The choice that we have, to CTB, is our ultimate and final decision and it shouldn't be taken lightly. My 12 year old son died by suicide 9 months ago and everyday since then, I have wanted to also. I have come close twice, but felt it was divine intervention that stopped it, but getting to my point, I think about how much courage, strength, and lost for hope that we have to face during those final moments. I pray that you find peace in whichever decision you choose.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I couldn't do it- I came hours out, climbed and climbed and stared out for why seemed eternity and I chickened out. I'm so disappointed in myself and just so sad right now. I will have to find another way. I'm sorry I wasted everyones time. I'm so pathetic I can't even jump off a bloody cliff.

You haven't wasted anyones time at all.

Use this time to consider your options and talk to people in here.

Love and peace ❤

 

[JSauter]

What do you mean, "waste our time"? We aren't here as willing spectators excitedly awaiting your death with bated breath. Don''t ever apologize for that. If you're truly seeking an exit, then you deserve a peaceful one. You're not pathetic for not being able to do something so terrifying and antithetical to your DNA programming. I could never jump. Not in a million years. And suicide is all I can seem to think about lately.

 

[S1mpleme]

Funny joke.