Help Tomorrow night im heading out to the woods. Need some advice from you all.

[VikingWinger]

As of now ive been battling this shit for almost a year. Im in a financial hole, im about to go homeless within a month. I just aquired a rope and i will go out at night to do partial suspension. Can barely write or think clearly but im giving this my bestest shot. My mother will be devastated, absolutely crushed by my suicide (if i succeed),, so will most of my friends, maybe as well my ex. No matter what i do or who helps me, i keep messing up. My depression can make me not eat for days and just lay in bed for weeks. Now im trying to write down notes to the people that i love, telling them to make the most of it, but i have no idea how to make them understand. I dont even know if thats possible. This is horrible. I have no idea what to do and as you can see from this post im as unclear as you can get it.
How do i make them understand?

 

[Uso]

You've done a great job articulating yourself in this post. I'm really proud of you for reaching out for help, as well.

Unfortunately, I don't think anyone who hasn't been on the brink of CTB will understand. There is no explanation we can give that will make sense or seem rational to them, especially if it's someone who really loves you. The best you can do, maybe, is to assure them it's not their fault and there's nothing they could've done differently. Just do your best to communicate why you've made this decision. It won't be easy, but I have faith that you can do it.

Don't be afraid to postpone your plan if need be. You don't have a lot of time to write these notes and it might take longer than expected. If it's important to you, don't rush, okay? The noose isn't going anywhere, haha. Best of luck, Viking.

 

[VikingWinger]

You've done a great job articulating yourself in this post. I'm really proud of you for reaching out for help, as well.

Unfortunately, I don't think anyone who hasn't been on the brink of CTB will understand. There is no explanation we can give that will make sense or seem rational to them, especially if it's someone who really loves you. The best you can do, maybe, is to assure them it's not their fault and there's nothing they could've done differently. Just do your best to communicate why you've made this decision. It won't be easy, but I have faith that you can do it.

Don't be afraid to postpone your plan if need be. You don't have a lot of time to write these notes and it might take longer than expected. If it's important to you, don't rush, okay? The noose isn't going anywhere, haha. Best of luck, Viking.

This was a great response - really appreciated it and i read it thrice. And this is also why i find solitude in this place. Nobody in my 'real' life understands, and yet everyone knows ive been on the verge earlier, so my death won't come as anything else but a 'he gave in.' Trying to come to terms with this now. And thinking about my mother, of course, which is the worst part. Thanks again for your kind words.

 

[joshe]

Why don't you take some camping and hunting equipment and try and survive for as long as you can