Bedrock48
Dreadful damage, dreadful destiny
- Feb 1, 2021
- 540
Idk how exactly it happened, it just slipped out after being honest about an overdose that week (the overdose was more sh than anything).
She asked all the usual questions and since I couldn't tell her the method she tried asking questions to work it out herself (will you be at home, where will you be going, will it involve rope etc etc). She couldn't figure it out but made another appointment for a weeks time.
Luckily she's been relatively chill about it and doesn't have plans on putting me in a psych hold just yet. It feels nice having somebody knowing irl in a way but I'm still paranoid about her taking things away from me. Simply existing in this way is so draining.
Still on the fence about going through with it, I want to ctb so badly still but I worry I'll get cold feet and waste time and money on getting to my location. I was so sure last week but I changed plans yet again.
Ultimately, possibly against my better judgement, I'm still trying to recover. It feels mad giving up after fighting so hard to get to where I am right now but I'm so tired of it all.
She asked all the usual questions and since I couldn't tell her the method she tried asking questions to work it out herself (will you be at home, where will you be going, will it involve rope etc etc). She couldn't figure it out but made another appointment for a weeks time.
Luckily she's been relatively chill about it and doesn't have plans on putting me in a psych hold just yet. It feels nice having somebody knowing irl in a way but I'm still paranoid about her taking things away from me. Simply existing in this way is so draining.
Still on the fence about going through with it, I want to ctb so badly still but I worry I'll get cold feet and waste time and money on getting to my location. I was so sure last week but I changed plans yet again.
Ultimately, possibly against my better judgement, I'm still trying to recover. It feels mad giving up after fighting so hard to get to where I am right now but I'm so tired of it all.