Told a friend about my suicidal feelings

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

It didn't really go well, but it wasn't horrible. I guess I shouldn't have done it when he was drunk, but most times I see him he's a bit drunk. He didn't really know how to respond, told me "don't say stuff like that, it makes me feel scared", which made me feel like shit, but after talking to him a bit more it was clear he wasn't telling me he didn't want to hear about my problems, it was more that he just was taken aback and thinks that if you talk about suicide, you're more likely to do it. I explained to him that's not how it is, and I think about it every day but I'm still alive. Then he told me how I'm one of his closest friends and he would be so sad if I committed suicide, he can't imagine the loss. It was nice to know I'm important to him, especially since a lot of guy friends don't get emotional with each other like that. I rate the whole experience 5/10.

 

[areyousafe??]

I've never told any of my friends. The only people who know are my doctors, and that's because they ask me. I wouldn't expect a positive response if anyone else knew, I'm afraid that I will be judged for being selfish and weak. Some of my friends knew I had depression and was hospitalised, but they don't know that I'm feeling suicidal.

It's really nice that your friend cares about you. Sometimes I expect they don't know how to respond.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I've heard that a lot with my friends, or they tell me I'm their only friend and get guilted into staying for them. I've found it's hard for them to think about, because majority of people don't like facing reality in the face. It's hard for them to understand the reasons that lead us to ctb that the final decision of death on our terms when we're ready. I think death is too scary of a concept for most and that's why people believe in a higher power and the afterlife and rather go about their day and let nature take them out when it sees fit. So when someone chooses death on their own terms they don't know how to react even when it's as simple as talking about it. It's too real of a topic.

 

[The_Hunter]

It didn't really go well, but it wasn't horrible. I guess I shouldn't have done it when he was drunk, but most times I see him he's a bit drunk. He didn't really know how to respond, told me "don't say stuff like that, it makes me feel scared", which made me feel like shit, but after talking to him a bit more it was clear he wasn't telling me he didn't want to hear about my problems, it was more that he just was taken aback and thinks that if you talk about suicide, you're more likely to do it. I explained to him that's not how it is, and I think about it every day but I'm still alive.

I can understand how you felt odd to be a little misunderstood like that. It's a little handsy when it gets a bit confused like this.

Then he told me how I'm one of his closest friends and he would be so sad if I committed suicide, he can't imagine the loss. It was nice to know I'm important to him, especially since a lot of guy friends don't get emotional with each other like that. I rate the whole experience 5/10.

I'm glad that you feel comforted by how much your friend cares about you :) I can also see how you were made uneasy by how limitlessly emotional he got, but to a degree I guess maybe most people aren't used to realizing this type of shock--of which is none of your fault either.

I wish you and your friend the best, and hope you are both able to understand each other with the greatest care & coherence.

Side note, Steely Dan is an absolutely amazing band. Great profile picture. Wishing you a nice day!

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

Side note, Steely Dan is an absolutely amazing band. Great profile picture. Wishing you a nice day!

Thank you for your kind words. I have to admit though that I had no idea what you meant by Steely Dan, I just did some googling and found my profile picture is super similar to an album cover but it's actual a total coincidence haha

 

[The_Hunter]

Thank you for your kind words. I have to admit though that I had no idea what you meant by Steely Dan, I just did some googling and found my profile picture is super similar to an album cover but it's actual a total coincidence haha

OH wait... just realized that your profile picture--is indeed--not the exact same photo as Two Against Nature. XD

Crazy coincidence!! Innit?

 

[EmoIsNotAPhase]

It didn't really go well, but it wasn't horrible. I guess I shouldn't have done it when he was drunk, but most times I see him he's a bit drunk. He didn't really know how to respond, told me "don't say stuff like that, it makes me feel scared", which made me feel like shit, but after talking to him a bit more it was clear he wasn't telling me he didn't want to hear about my problems, it was more that he just was taken aback and thinks that if you talk about suicide, you're more likely to do it. I explained to him that's not how it is, and I think about it every day but I'm still alive. Then he told me how I'm one of his closest friends and he would be so sad if I committed suicide, he can't imagine the loss. It was nice to know I'm important to him, especially since a lot of guy friends don't get emotional with each other like that. I rate the whole experience 5/10.

I feel you. My friend confronted me last night (made my own thread about it) since he found out I had an active plan from another friend. Seeing him hold back tears and almost begging me to keep fighting was hard. It helped knowing how much I'd upset people and that I would be missed but it's still so hard to fight. Don't have much in me.

 

[isthisit?]

The only people who know about my depression/anorexia/ctb-attempts are close friends and gf. they took it pretty well and understood my viewpoint. ofc Im not suicidal anymore so its all good with them. still havent told my parents anything because I cant trust them with keeping anything private. I told them about my gf and now somehow my entire family tree knows about it.

Fuck my extroverted parents