Today is the day.

[HopelessFailure]

So originally I had planned on ctb in the near future, however I've woken up to all my family and partner saying they want nothing to do with me so I have decided that I'm not going to put myself through anymore pain. I'm going to hang myself today. Any tips to make sure it ends this miserable existence?

You know the most pathetic part is that there will be no funeral because there is nobody out there that would come.

 

[Ixtlilton]

I'm not sure too much about hanging methods. Although, I am positive you will find them after looking on the forums for 10 minutes. If you need to talk about anything you can message me. I hope you find happiness in whatever you choose to do. Good luck.

 

[randomz]

So originally I had planned on ctb in the near future, however I've woken up to all my family and partner saying they want nothing to do with me so I have decided that I'm not going to put myself through anymore pain. I'm going to hang myself today. Any tips to make sure it ends this miserable existence?

You know the most pathetic part is that there will be no funeral because there is nobody out there that would come.

So if they decided they want nothing to do with you , then why do you give a fuck about them and let them make you CTB? Cant you just decide that you've had enough of them and move away from them?

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

We are here for you no matter what you decide sending you peace and love

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

There are two tips I can suggest. I tried the first one but stopped because it made shit real and I wasn't ready, but it was a good measure to override SI. Both tips are.

The first is to get zip ties from a hardware or dollar store in the hardware section. Before you suspend, you can use them to bind your wrists behind your back.

The second is to be suspended off the ground.

Finally, take every precaution to ensure you have a good couple of uninterrupted hours. How do others see you from outside? Will there be a change in your routine that causes suspicion to anyone at all? Are there neighbors who would notice something different?

I don't make these suggestions lightly. I wish you peace and the best possible outcomes no matter what you do.

 

[TAW122]

As for hanging, there is partial and full suspension. There are people who swear by partial and find it easier to execute whereas full suspension is more tedious to set up. Just make sure that you have a sturdy enough rope to hang with and a strong enough frame in which to attach the rope to. Also, I wish you the best and peace.

 

[mathieu]

I'm sorry to hear of your pain and I hope you find peace

 

[Ghost2211]

Sorry to hear your environment and the people around you are so toxic. I have no advice on hanging effectively, but I'm here if you need to vent.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Have you seen the resource and wiki threads? All the information is in one area instead of having to search multiple forum posts.
I'm sorry that pain and cruelty have brought you to this place. I hope that you will find peace.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/how-to-hang-yourself.1183/

 

[MrOptions]

You want to CTB by hanging? Here you go.

 

[Quarky00]

I've woken up to all my family and partner saying they want nothing to do with me

What just happened there ? (bit shocked)

 

[MysticPerception]

That's pretty extreme of them. I don't understand how people can just say something so heartless and mean it without thinking about how the other person feels at all. Well if you do decide to go through with it I hope you find peace and maybe even a better family on the other side if there is an afterlife.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I read your other post, got caught up on the situation.

This is so hard. I'm so sorry for all your suffering, the lack of support, and the abuses piled on top.

I get your user name, maybe. You are not a failure, but I understand hopelessness.

You did not develop the coping skills to function that evolved into what's labeled bpd because you had a healthy, loving, supportive family.

It's all just too much right now and you need support and solutions. I respect that you may have determined ctb is the best possible solution, albeit undesirable. Here supporting you in this moment as best I can.

 

[jgm63]

This thread is potentially interesting :

Spoiler: farewell-and-thank-you.27028

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/farewell-and-thank-you.27028/

I think it's a partial suspension method. If you search on this site against the video id, it seems quite a few people have referenced that video, so there might be interesting info in some of those threads.

Note : As always, please note that I strongly encourage you to seek help with whatever is troubling you. With the right help things can improve. There are many sources of help if you look and reach out. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping out of harm's way.

 

[WhiteEyes]

I'm also at the end of my rope, now.
HF, I don't know why they think that but idc I'll happily be your friend and talk to you. I know it's not much but I'm desperate too.

 

[Lostandfound7]

So originally I had planned on ctb in the near future, however I've woken up to all my family and partner saying they want nothing to do with me so I have decided that I'm not going to put myself through anymore pain. I'm going to hang myself today. Any tips to make sure it ends this miserable existence?

You know the most pathetic part is that there will be no funeral because there is nobody out there that would come.

Hello Love! Screw them! I just hate to hear when ppl push someone over the edge to ctb! Just leave them alone,if possible, cuz if they're speaking to u like that, then they don't deserve YOU. If u can find somewhere else to stay until u go with ur original set date, then if I may,would suggest that..They might not love and appreciate u,but there r others in the world that do! Me included

 

[HopelessFailure]

So if they decided they want nothing to do with you , then why do you give a fuck about them and let them make you CTB? Cant you just decide that you've had enough of them and move away from them?

I wish I could stop caring about them. I have tried. My dad goes along with whatever my mum says because she just threatens to leave him otherwise and he's too blindly in love. He does care but not enough to actually stand against her. My partner is the love of my life. After an abusive relationship in my teen years he came along and picked me up when I was broken. We have been together for 5 years. We have been through so much together and I just can't seem to let that go.
I don't know what I would do without him to be honest, I never wanted that for our daughter either :/

That's pretty extreme of them. I don't understand how people can just say something so heartless and mean it without thinking about how the other person feels at all. Well if you do decide to go through with it I hope you find peace and maybe even a better family on the other side if there is an afterlife.

I have put them through a lot for the past 18 months and have become so sick of myself that I kind of get it tbh. Thank you though

 

[Lostandfound7]

I wish I could stop caring about them. I have tried. My dad goes along with whatever my mum says because she just threatens to leave him otherwise and he's too blindly in love. He does care but not enough to actually stand against her. My partner is the love of my life. After an abusive relationship in my teen years he came along and picked me up when I was broken. We have been together for 5 years. We have been through so much together and I just can't seem to let that go.
I don't know what I would do without him to be honest, I never wanted that for our daughter either :/

Have u tried counseling with ur partner? Relationships can b so difficult n often therapy does wonders for couples who just can't seem to get on the same page..

 

[HopelessFailure]

I'm also at the end of my rope, now.
HF, I don't know why they think that but idc I'll happily be your friend and talk to you. I know it's not much but I'm desperate too.

I get you, I find it so sad that life has gone this way for so many people. I could use a friend too. I don't think anyone who hasn't felt this way will ever understand and I think its so important to have this community where everyone is listened to and understood.

Have u tried counseling with ur partner? Relationships can b so difficult n often therapy does wonders for couples who just can't seem to get on the same page..

We had talked about it but its actually really hard to find someone around here that offers that without being ridiculously priced I think the problem is that too much damage has been done. At the start of our relationship I hadn't been diagnosed with bpd yet and I was pretty off the rails, he stuck by me through all the meltdowns, the police call outs because I was suicidal, the self harm etc etc.. We had the happiest time of our lives when we found out I was pregnant because we had actually been trying for over 2 years and was due ivf. Then when I had my daughter, although she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I got pnd.. Bad. I felt like the worst mum in the world and would often phone him up at work freaking out because I couldn't cope (obviously he couldn't do anything at work and was then left stressed out the whole day, getting in trouble for always being on his phone). I'm disgusted at myself but I have callr dmy daughter a cunt and a little shit and had days where she has spent it all at her granny's because I just thought she was better off without me. This has been going on for about 7 months now and I get that he's done with me, I really do not blame him. I just can't take it.
Hope things are better with you

 

[Soul]

@HopelessFailure, what happened since yesterday? What exactly did your parents and partner say? Where is your daughter?

You deserve support and help. Your daughter deserves a mother who's getting the help she needs.

Please don't rush things.

 

[WhiteEyes]

I get you, I find it so sad that life has gone this way for so many people. I could use a friend too. I don't think anyone who hasn't felt this way will ever understand and I think its so important to have this community where everyone is listened to and understood. ❤

I feel a bit like a ghost here but this forum is all I have left to vent on. Ironically it may be what is stopping me even though I will hopefully attain the means to die through it. Maybe chatting may hold you back too.

I didn't know you had a daughter from your OP. I just have my parents. They are old and really wouldn't understand any of this stuff. I did think of reaching out to friends but they ...are too different now.

 

[HopelessFailure]

@HopelessFailure, what happened since yesterday? What exactly did your parents and partner say? Where is your daughter?

You deserve support and help. Your daughter deserves a mother who's getting the help she needs.

Please don't rush things.

The people I care about, the only people I have have had it with me. Ive just had enough of being a dissapointment and I don't see any end in sight to this suffering. I think they would be better off without me.

I feel a bit like a ghost here but this forum is all I have left to vent on. Ironically it may be what is stopping me even though I will hopefully attain the means to die through it. Maybe chatting may hold you back too.

I didn't know you had a daughter from your OP. I just have my parents. They are old and really wouldn't understand any of this stuff. I did think of reaching out to friends but they ...are too different now.

I hope it does does stop you and things get better for you. Everyone deserves happiness. I'm sorry you don't think your parents would understand. I get the friends thing, how do you even bring it up to someone who doesn't know what it's like? The fear of the reaction is the biggest thing for me. Its lonely enough without more rejection.

 

[Lostandfound7]

I get you, I find it so sad that life has gone this way for so many people. I could use a friend too. I don't think anyone who hasn't felt this way will ever understand and I think its so important to have this community where everyone is listened to and understood. ❤

We had talked about it but its actually really hard to find someone around here that offers that without being ridiculously priced I think the problem is that too much damage has been done. At the start of our relationship I hadn't been diagnosed with bpd yet and I was pretty off the rails, he stuck by me through all the meltdowns, the police call outs because I was suicidal, the self harm etc etc.. We had the happiest time of our lives when we found out I was pregnant because we had actually been trying for over 2 years and was due ivf. Then when I had my daughter, although she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I got pnd.. Bad. I felt like the worst mum in the world and would often phone him up at work freaking out because I couldn't cope (obviously he couldn't do anything at work and was then left stressed out the whole day, getting in trouble for always being on his phone). I'm disgusted at myself but I have callr dmy daughter a cunt and a little shit and had days where she has spent it all at her granny's because I just thought she was better off without me. This has been going on for about 7 months now and I get that he's done with me, I really do not blame him. I just can't take it.
Hope things are better with you ❤

No u r not the worst "mum in the world",! u just need help. N it's ok! My situation is still up in the air.very painful..I also went thru 2 rounds of unsuccessful IVF n no children, which is a MAJOR part of my depression n hopelessness..plz talk to someone,even if u can't get any professional help now,per se, just having listening ears on this forum can help tremendously! U can do this my Love! Ur stronger than u think..I'm here if u need me
U r a GREAT mom who just needs help!!

 

[Soul]

The people I care about, the only people I have have had it with me. Ive just had enough of being a dissapointment and I don't see any end in sight to this suffering. I think they would be better off without me.

@HopelessFailure, what if it's your post-natal depression telling you these harsh things? I'm very sorry you're struggling with this but the vicious horrid mumblings of pnd aren't a reason to leave a baby without a mother.

You have a doctor, I hope? Do you trust him/her enough to contact her/him about how you're feeling before you decide what to do?

Disclosure of bias: My mother killed herself when she had "post partum psychosis" and the scars still ache.

 

[HopelessFailure]

No u r not the worst "mum in the world",! u just need help. N it's ok! My situation is still up in the air.very painful..I also went thru 2 rounds of unsuccessful IVF n no children, which is a MAJOR part of my depression n hopelessness..plz talk to someone,even if u can't get any professional help now,per se, just having listening ears on this forum can help tremendously! U can do this my Love! Ur stronger than u think..I'm here if u need me
U r a GREAT mom who just needs help!!

Oh wow I'm so sorry, that is so unfair. Life can be so cruel. I understand why you are feeling so low, im here to talk about it if you want to

 

[Lostandfound7]

Ty so much..Trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel..I'll point it out to u when I see it

 

[WhiteEyes]

I hope it does does stop you and things get better for you.

Thanks, life seems to get worse each year. Despite different life experiences I think I can relate to this thread.

Honestly you are making it through today. I think you can give getting help another try, make an appointment or just show up at a hospital. It's a lot less scary than trying to hang anyway, believe me.