Help Today is my planned date. Trying to get the courage.

[doublecupj]

I've messed my life up really bad. I quit my job 2 weeks ago, since I was intending to CTB on 7/1/24.

Now the day is here. I'm sitting inside Starbucks. My gun is in my car. Lied and told my family I was going back to work today from a vacation. They love me a lot. But I don't feel like they know the real me. I've done so much wrong. Lied to them. Stolen from them. If I continue living I could end up in prison.

So I need the courage to end it. I'm scared and worried my gun won't work. I'm afraid of failing. And sad that this will likely devastate my family. I wrote them a note apologizing and telling them I love them.

I'm just....stuck.

 

[pocket7]

I'm stuck as well. I want to ctb but something holds me back.

 

[Bear1234]

I'm sorry , I know it takes immense courage to exit. I'm sorry that it's been made to be so difficult and is associated with grief, fear, and deep sadness. I hope you find peace in whatever way it gives it to you

 

[Edpal247]

I've messed my life up really bad. I quit my job 2 weeks ago, since I was intending to CTB on 7/1/24.

Now the day is here. I'm sitting inside Starbucks. My gun is in my car. Lied and told my family I was going back to work today from a vacation. They love me a lot. But I don't feel like they know the real me. I've done so much wrong. Lied to them. Stolen from them. If I continue living I could end up in prison.

So I need the courage to end it. I'm scared and worried my gun won't work. I'm afraid of failing. And sad that this will likely devastate my family. I wrote them a note apologizing and telling them I love them.

I'm just....stuck.

I'm in a similar place. Actually going to go look for "my" tree today. That's the plan at least. G Got my rope.

 

[dinosavr]

I hope you'll be able to calm down and find the way you feel is right for you. Remember that setting a day is always going to do you harm and make you feel like you're forced to do it. But please take your time if you're not sure. There's no reason to rush into anything, you can always find a new day when you'll feel more determined.