Mariomcfly
Student
- Jun 2, 2019
- 149
(Writing this makes everything so surreal. No turning back.)
Sorry you got hurt!
Dear Jess, first of all let me say this i love you! with all my heart. I just need to say I'm sorry for everything, i wish i would of never walked into your life. I never meant for you to get hurt and, be dragged in to my crazy unstable world. I'm sorry your stuck cleaning up one more mess of mine but, i promise this is the last one. I know right now you think I'm angry at you in NOT! i promise. I understood why you said what you said it was joke i get that. I think i was just looking for something to breaks us. My thinking would be that the inevitable was going to happen regardless and this would help the pain ease. I owe you so much! you saved me many times but, this time there was no saving. You knew deep down that as soon as graduated this was going to be the end. I know that you have seen the my days become more labored and i tend to have less and lees drive in life. Ive seen you trying to get me out of this spiral but, it's to late. you fought hard with me but, unfortunately I'm just that broken its selfish of my self to keep going and dragging everyone down with me. You asked once what happen how did we get here? Honest truth i don't know ever since i remember i been like this. Im sorry i kept you from everyone i taught i was protecting you, i realize today that i wasn't. I was selfish i wanted you all to myself, you were my special someone that was just mine. I understand why now that i want you incorporate into our life you have reservations. Just know that it was never embarrassment or the age gap, i really wanted to keep you away from this toxic family. SORRY. Please know that i loved you since the first time i saw you nothing will ever change that whether I'm here or not. Just know that left this earth with you in my mind no one else but you. Jess please take care of your self! please don't let this bring you down for to long move on. Jess you are the strongest bravest person i ever met in my life you are a true warrior a fighter. I wish i could of been more like you maybe we wouldn't be here right now. Jess i won't lie your health scares me and I'm angry that i won't be here to care for you but, you have plenty of people that care snd love you. I often imagine what our life would look like in the future. Ill be honest it look way to perfect it scared me. Im sure you're going to be great mother one day i wish i could of seen it. I wish it could been me standing next to you but, you need someone better, someone dependable, unbroken who won't let you down at any moment. I wish we could of experience what waking up next to each other every morning would be like but, the sad truth is that everything was going to change one morning regardless. Please be happy and move past it, i was never happy but, when i was with you i had my happiest moments. Im sorry I'm putting you through this but, when ever you think of me, see a picture of me, or something reminds you of me please know you deserved better.
I love you!
Sorry.
Sorry you got hurt!
Dear Jess, first of all let me say this i love you! with all my heart. I just need to say I'm sorry for everything, i wish i would of never walked into your life. I never meant for you to get hurt and, be dragged in to my crazy unstable world. I'm sorry your stuck cleaning up one more mess of mine but, i promise this is the last one. I know right now you think I'm angry at you in NOT! i promise. I understood why you said what you said it was joke i get that. I think i was just looking for something to breaks us. My thinking would be that the inevitable was going to happen regardless and this would help the pain ease. I owe you so much! you saved me many times but, this time there was no saving. You knew deep down that as soon as graduated this was going to be the end. I know that you have seen the my days become more labored and i tend to have less and lees drive in life. Ive seen you trying to get me out of this spiral but, it's to late. you fought hard with me but, unfortunately I'm just that broken its selfish of my self to keep going and dragging everyone down with me. You asked once what happen how did we get here? Honest truth i don't know ever since i remember i been like this. Im sorry i kept you from everyone i taught i was protecting you, i realize today that i wasn't. I was selfish i wanted you all to myself, you were my special someone that was just mine. I understand why now that i want you incorporate into our life you have reservations. Just know that it was never embarrassment or the age gap, i really wanted to keep you away from this toxic family. SORRY. Please know that i loved you since the first time i saw you nothing will ever change that whether I'm here or not. Just know that left this earth with you in my mind no one else but you. Jess please take care of your self! please don't let this bring you down for to long move on. Jess you are the strongest bravest person i ever met in my life you are a true warrior a fighter. I wish i could of been more like you maybe we wouldn't be here right now. Jess i won't lie your health scares me and I'm angry that i won't be here to care for you but, you have plenty of people that care snd love you. I often imagine what our life would look like in the future. Ill be honest it look way to perfect it scared me. Im sure you're going to be great mother one day i wish i could of seen it. I wish it could been me standing next to you but, you need someone better, someone dependable, unbroken who won't let you down at any moment. I wish we could of experience what waking up next to each other every morning would be like but, the sad truth is that everything was going to change one morning regardless. Please be happy and move past it, i was never happy but, when i was with you i had my happiest moments. Im sorry I'm putting you through this but, when ever you think of me, see a picture of me, or something reminds you of me please know you deserved better.
I love you!
Sorry.
