Hey team
I'm so fed up. I need to leave this realm before my condition gets really bad. I have an inoperable brain tumour. I was fobbed off by the UK NHS for years when I asked then to investigate the symptoms. By the time it was finally diagnosed it was too late and risky to do anything. High risk of brain damage, loss of an eye, nerve damage, stroke, etc. if they operate.
I manage it ALONE, i live ALONE, I still work and am totally self reliant. No family, no friends (people run a mile when they know you have a time bomb in your head). I am self employed so don't get sick pay. No support from anywhere. The NHS still fobs me off and claims NONE of my symptoms are from the tumour - like the double vision, the daily nausea, the 3 day migraines, the tinnitus, the vertigo, the bloody fluid running out of my nose constantly, the clicking noises in my head, etc etc. That way they don't have to manage the symptoms, they just say it's not their problem.
The other day I read a comment here that really offended me, an angsty teenager claiming to be jealous of people with cancer. Wake up kiddo - you think cancer or a brain tumour is an easy death? You have years of slow decline and a shit quality of life. It's not instant.
And these euthenasia providers in Swizerland are so exploitative. I finally found 2 that will do it for non-citizens, but guess how much they want...............10 000 euros. So even a merciful death is the preserve of the wealthy.
And they won't even answer your emails unless you pay a "membership" fee! I got an initial email from another one that "only" wants 8 000 euros (which i don't have) and they expect you to go there for an interview as well. Well I can no longer fly because it causes intrcranial pressure - and thus double vision. Anyway thats by the by, i would get there by train for the interview if needed. But I asked them some simple questions (policy, procedure) to help me figure out whether i should pay the membership fee - and they won't answer me until I pay the membership fee!
I think it's an appalling way to treat people. A disgrace.
Sometimes my vision is screwed for months and that's when i really want to die. I need to use the time I have to get what I need. I offered these euthenasia people a deal - I said they could have the money from the sale of my house when I'm dead. But they wont answer me until I give them some money.
I emailed A: no answer. So no N from him. I find it suspicious that his full name is out there : you really think someone whose full name is out there is freely selling N? It's very fishy.
Cant get SN, plus I read up more on the side effects of OD and the vertigo and diarrhoea part scares me because I get severe vertigo and diarrhoea for 8 hours sometimes. Literally cannot stand up, just vomit while the room spins, it's pure hell.
So what are my options, hanging? I need something that's 100 a sure thing. I'm at risk of a stroke and seizures as it is - if I hanged myself, i'm sure i would have a stroke. Then what if it somehow fails ad I end up brain damaged and alive? Dependent on corrupt NHS staff who would abuse me.
Honestly, I feel like I'm in HELL right now, I desperately don't want to be here, I want out but I can't get out.
Every night I pray I will die a quick death in my sleep. Every morning I'm still here. I' getting desperate, am having to exercise massive self restraint so as not to do something desperate that could fail.
F8CK this world. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant. These euthenasia places are bloody unethical, they should be ashamed of themselves.
I'm so fed up. I need to leave this realm before my condition gets really bad. I have an inoperable brain tumour. I was fobbed off by the UK NHS for years when I asked then to investigate the symptoms. By the time it was finally diagnosed it was too late and risky to do anything. High risk of brain damage, loss of an eye, nerve damage, stroke, etc. if they operate.
I manage it ALONE, i live ALONE, I still work and am totally self reliant. No family, no friends (people run a mile when they know you have a time bomb in your head). I am self employed so don't get sick pay. No support from anywhere. The NHS still fobs me off and claims NONE of my symptoms are from the tumour - like the double vision, the daily nausea, the 3 day migraines, the tinnitus, the vertigo, the bloody fluid running out of my nose constantly, the clicking noises in my head, etc etc. That way they don't have to manage the symptoms, they just say it's not their problem.
The other day I read a comment here that really offended me, an angsty teenager claiming to be jealous of people with cancer. Wake up kiddo - you think cancer or a brain tumour is an easy death? You have years of slow decline and a shit quality of life. It's not instant.
And these euthenasia providers in Swizerland are so exploitative. I finally found 2 that will do it for non-citizens, but guess how much they want...............10 000 euros. So even a merciful death is the preserve of the wealthy.
And they won't even answer your emails unless you pay a "membership" fee! I got an initial email from another one that "only" wants 8 000 euros (which i don't have) and they expect you to go there for an interview as well. Well I can no longer fly because it causes intrcranial pressure - and thus double vision. Anyway thats by the by, i would get there by train for the interview if needed. But I asked them some simple questions (policy, procedure) to help me figure out whether i should pay the membership fee - and they won't answer me until I pay the membership fee!
I think it's an appalling way to treat people. A disgrace.
Sometimes my vision is screwed for months and that's when i really want to die. I need to use the time I have to get what I need. I offered these euthenasia people a deal - I said they could have the money from the sale of my house when I'm dead. But they wont answer me until I give them some money.
I emailed A: no answer. So no N from him. I find it suspicious that his full name is out there : you really think someone whose full name is out there is freely selling N? It's very fishy.
Cant get SN, plus I read up more on the side effects of OD and the vertigo and diarrhoea part scares me because I get severe vertigo and diarrhoea for 8 hours sometimes. Literally cannot stand up, just vomit while the room spins, it's pure hell.
So what are my options, hanging? I need something that's 100 a sure thing. I'm at risk of a stroke and seizures as it is - if I hanged myself, i'm sure i would have a stroke. Then what if it somehow fails ad I end up brain damaged and alive? Dependent on corrupt NHS staff who would abuse me.
Honestly, I feel like I'm in HELL right now, I desperately don't want to be here, I want out but I can't get out.
Every night I pray I will die a quick death in my sleep. Every morning I'm still here. I' getting desperate, am having to exercise massive self restraint so as not to do something desperate that could fail.
F8CK this world. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant. These euthenasia places are bloody unethical, they should be ashamed of themselves.
