Discussion To those of you in school, how are thing's going?

[cyclicism]

I think it's funny that university is just a constant state of drowning.

Last year second semester I had such a terrible time I don't even remember it. All I remember is that the second it ended I so profoundly remembered what it's like to live, to not be constantly hounded by some over looming stress and dread. Somehow I got through that without reverting back to being suicidal, (from what I can recall, but honestly maybe I was and just can't remember it!).

But now, quite ironically, the comfort that one day I can just take myself out of the equation is one of the main things that's keeping me going.

But hey, how is everyone else faring?

 

[pollux]

Summer break till march

 

[juxtaposse]

I'm surprised I'm skating by in classes. I have been so absent minded during class, just lost in my head, every week I have a class or two I randomly begin to cry during and nobody seems to care/they ignore it Lol.

But things seem to be getting worse in other aspects of my life, so it will likely affect my grades negatively. I'm just trying to not get sent to a psych ward right now, that would make everything worse, as when I get out, I would be stuck with the same issues I'm currently trying to solve, if that makes sense. It would just delay me dealing with these difficult things.

 

[heyhellohai9281624]

After I relapsed, I fell back into the loop of not going being able to go to uni. I haven't been in school since December 4th.

All of the uni work is way too hard for me and I don't feel like my brain comprehends lots of things. The professors have been trying to help to get me back on track, but I'm honestly super paranoid and afraid of accepting help. They're going super easy on me, since they know I'm struggling.

I hope one day I could attend classes without anxiety and paranoia.

I'm happy to hear your university career worked out regardless. Lots of love

 

[Trismegistus_13]

I'm in nursing school, and this last semester is brutal. The first half is a 16-week class condensed into 8 weeks (two 6-hr classes a week) with a test every week. It's been tough but I'm doing my best to push through. Only a few more weeks.

 

[victorisunlucky]

I got dumped out of a 2 year long relationship right before last semester started, so it was a complete wash, i failed 2 classes It absolutely killed my self-confidence. Im in a better headspace now, and things are definitely going smoother. Im an EE major, so the work is difficult, and theres a ton of it, but its not as overwhelming as it was last semester. Also, I secured a summer internship at a prominent facility in my state so i feel pretty good about that. All i need to do is just keep it up for a few months.

 

[EternalShore]

Last year second semester I had such a terrible time I don't even remember it. All I remember is that the second it ended I so profoundly remembered what it's like to live, to not be constantly hounded by some over looming stress and dread. Somehow I got through that without reverting back to being suicidal, (from what I can recall, but honestly maybe I was and just can't remember it!).

yeah... Same... My memory has been notoriously terrible since high school due to how much everything sucks~ Altho, nowadays is far worse than high school~ >_<
I don't even get to have free time or weekends off anymore! :( Like whenever I was at college, I had all this massive dread and misery just like you did, but I could feel better when I got home. At least, in regards to that...

Anyways, I have sooo much work now! :((( I still have no irl friends and wouldn't have time for them even if I did. I just go to my internship for 8 hours and work on college homework, signing up for things like job interviews, and stuff for my internship until 11, at which point, I give myself some free time, at the expense of my own sleep~ It's all just a never-ending cycle with hardly any positives... The work is never finished. I just do it in the order that I get in the least trouble for when I don't finish stuff~

After I relapsed, I fell back into the loop of not going being able to go to uni. I haven't been in school since December 4th.

All of the uni work is way too hard for me and I don't feel like my brain comprehends lots of things. The professors have been trying to help to get me back on track, but I'm honestly super paranoid and afraid of accepting help. They're going super easy on me, since they know I'm struggling.

I hope one day I could attend classes without anxiety and paranoia.

I'm happy to hear your university career worked out regardless. Lots of love

that's a super kyute pfp! :D I'm sorry you've struggled so much with going there tho~ >_< That must be so bad! :( I really hope you are able to overcome all that anxiety and paranoia with the help of your professors~ >_< honestly, I feel awful with going to classes too... Waking up every day knowing nothing good is going to happen until you can sleep is the absolute worst... Back when everything wasn't all terrible, the drive of dread every morning was really bad too~ :( You just have to force yourself to do it regardless of how much you hate it unfortunately~ >_<
What's your major? :) I'd like to help you if I can, and I would, but I'm presently really struggling with my own stuff rn so maybe not~ >_< but I could try~ xD

Im an EE major

oooo~ am also an EE major! >:3 elementary education! >:3

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Not spectacularly. It's my first semester in University and it's hard. I've also made a huge life change in the form of moving so I don't have to commute insane distances to Uni so I'm quite homesick right now, 2 weeks into the new semester. I'm only 45 minutes away but it doesn't make it any easier tbh. I have very supportive family which greatly helps me cope though.

Also, my classes are insanely hard, and I'm used to doing a 5 class course load, so I continued that in university and I don't know if it's just my classes currently or university in general but I literally cannot do it. I have a meeting with my advisor to drop a course tomorrow (dropping one of my hardest courses, both in material and a shitty professor) and that'll drop me to 4 classes, 13 credit hours so I still maintain full-time status, luckily.

Anyways, sorry for the long reply, I've been wanting to tell someone this and this thread served as a good outlet.

Also hard relate on the thought of offing myself to get by!

I'm in nursing school, and this last semester is brutal. The first half is a 16-week class condensed into 8 weeks (two 6-hr classes a week) with a test every week. It's been tough but I'm doing my best to push through. Only a few more weeks.

Wishing you the best, my girlfriend's sister is in a Nursing major and it seems extremely tough for her, yet she says my major is harder. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.

I got dumped out of a 2 year long relationship right before last semester started, so it was a complete wash, i failed 2 classes It absolutely killed my self-confidence. Im in a better headspace now, and things are definitely going smoother. Im an EE major, so the work is difficult, and theres a ton of it, but its not as overwhelming as it was last semester. Also, I secured a summer internship at a prominent facility in my state so i feel pretty good about that. All i need to do is just keep it up for a few months.

You got this bud! I believe in you. EE is hard as fuck. I considered Computer Engineering as a major but noped out after I saw some of the EE type classes I had to take, paired with the fact that even with a CE degree, I'd likely get a CS job anyways.

Also congrats on securing an internship. I've been trying with no luck so far to do that! Hope it goes well for you!

 

[cyclicism]

Also, I secured a summer internship at a prominent facility in my state so i feel pretty good about that.

Congrats on getting an internship! The relief of finding one is so real.

Also, my classes are insanely hard, and I'm used to doing a 5 class course load, so I continued that in university and I don't know if it's just my classes currently or university in general but I literally cannot do it. I have a meeting with my advisor to drop a course tomorrow (dropping one of my hardest courses, both in material and a shitty professor) and that'll drop me to 4 classes, 13 credit hours so I still maintain full-time status, luckily.

You gotta do what you gotta do, good on you for arranging a meeting to drop that course. Sometimes there's merit in toughing it out, but 99% of the time it's just unecessary suffering. Hopefully the next time you take take the course the prof is better ! They really make or break courses.

Anyways, sorry for the long reply, I've been wanting to tell someone this and this thread served as a good outlet.

It's what this site's for >

 

[sannoji]

i got really physically ill last semester and missed several assignments and even a whole exam which was stressing me out, but i did surprisingly get the uni to clear it for me and let me take the exam i missed later cuz my doctor told them about how ill i'd been. i'm honestly still experiencing aftereffects of that illnessright now not to mention the downturn in mental health, so it's been hard to get to classes. keep waking up super nauseous and dizzy. but i'm ticking along somehow.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

You gotta do what you gotta do, good on you for arranging a meeting to drop that course. Sometimes there's merit in toughing it out, but 99% of the time it's just unecessary suffering. Hopefully the next time you take take the course the prof is better ! They really make or break courses.

Yeah. My advisor said to take it for another week so the professor can't lie about my attendance and mess up my financial aid (apparently he has a reputation for being pretty bad). She said I can drop it after this week, and told me we could move some classes around but next semester, it's necessary that I take it because it's a prerequisite for other courses. There's a female professor who apparently is better and this shitty professor, as word on the grapevine goes, might be retiring next year. I think next semester, I could take it. I also learned that I can obtain a math minor with one more elective math course, which is neat I suppose!

 

[heavysoul]

I'm not sure yet cause my semester just started. But I think it's a constant battle for me to feel like I'm adequate and good enough at the work I do and not like a stupid dumb idiot who's doomed to fail. Because last semester I started getting so stressed that I ended up in the psych ward, but I pulled through and passed all my classes in the end.
But as things are starting up, I keep getting momentarily stressed about the material and assignments I have but once I'm done with the class period or assignment it's usually out of sight, out of mind for me and I feel a bit better.

 

[mikgazer6]

Almost dropped out after sophomore year because it's difficult to care for college with what would become schizoid personality and having always disliked society and generally the concept of life. A budding unshakable feeling of dissociation did not help. My parents are forcing me so I changed majors and cut my semester load in half and plan to graduate a few years late instead. The first semester from that point was hell. Insomnia peaked, got very sick twice, almost died once (not suicide), and dissociation was in full force leaving me mentally absent for the better part of a year. Surprisingly, I managed to scrape by with Cs. I don't know how because I seriously cannot remember anything else about that time except for missing a final. Doing better now and being more careful with my physical and mental health although a mild to moderate level of dissociation still lingers.

 

[Anonymoususer1234]

Shit for me. Doing general studies at the moment and I can't take any classes directly related to my major until next year. Motivation is really hard. I'm such an undisciplined person and getting work done and attending lectures feels nearly impossible most days. I feel like school isn't actually teaching me anything but I'm forced to do it in order to have the career I want. I don't even feel like I have the right to complain since "studying is a privilege" and technically no one is forcing me to do it. Not that I've got anyone in my real life to complain to. I don't know how people succeed in this environment. I'm just really not built for academia, I guess.

 

[intintint]

This is bit disorganized, but it's the only thing my brain managed to spit:
I had a bunch of nervous breakdowns and I ignored it all and just kept being (barely) functional. As in, I'd live for (and honestly not even that good ) academic "prowess", and it defined most of what I felt about me. But lately, somehow, I just stopped caring, I'm not attending most of my classes atm, I only attend what I like (and not if it's before 10am). I regularly still feel like trash and guilty, and there's this horrible sensation and feeling of "you should not exist, you're a waste of space". I also saw myself wanting to pursue a PhD, cause I dislike actual work. But my grades lately have been mid (not bad, not good), so ... yeah we'll see. My only plan B is leeching off my siblings

 

[cme-dme]

I dropped out about a year ago. The constant state of drowning you describe was just too much for me. I shut down within a month at most. I didn't even formally drop out it was just one day, waking up and feeling physically unable to get out of bed. I couldn't do it anymore.

 

[Alexsei]

Ironically, last semester was my best semester academically and socially but I absolutely despised it because I felt my boyfriend getting more distant from me which felt horrible. Was actually somewhat looking forward to this semester but then I got broken up with and it kinda derailed everything.

 

[steppenwolf]

Dropped out over thirty years ago. Thirteen people attempted suicide in the block I was living in on campus, seven successfully. I escaped. Returned nearly 25 years ago and got a 1st. Almost never worked since.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Shit for me. Doing general studies at the moment and I can't take any classes directly related to my major until next year. Motivation is really hard. I'm such an undisciplined person and getting work done and attending lectures feels nearly impossible most days. I feel like school isn't actually teaching me anything but I'm forced to do it in order to have the career I want. I don't even feel like I have the right to complain since "studying is a privilege" and technically no one is forcing me to do it. Not that I've got anyone in my real life to complain to. I don't know how people succeed in this environment. I'm just really not built for academia, I guess.

I get what you mean. People say that studying is a privilege so I feel bad complaining about college. Then, I realized, people can't dictate what I like or dislike, and you can dislike things that are a privilege. To most, life is a privilege, but many here see it differently.

I'm taking classes in my major and they're extremely difficult. I'm managing to not rely on ChatGPT too much which couldn't be said last semester so I guess I'm on the right track. I'm trying to master the content of my major so I can't rely on AI too much. Besides, it usually does something wrong since sometimes computer science and math seems to stump it.

I also don't think I'm built for academia. Maybe built better than some, but there's many who do it better and enjoy it way more than me. It has felt like a slog for the past week or two, though. It took everything in me to attend my class and a resume review today. Going to the career fair this week it's gonna feel impossible. My social battery is already so low, I can't take all the socializing and fake happiness.

Sorry for the long reply. For a tldr; I completely understand how you feel and I also hate college sometimes.