To the women

[gnarly]

So I'm really curious to what women go through. Ik as a man it's not really any of my business however I've seen so many girls torn and broken. Girls who I think don't deserve this route. It's impossible for me to fathom women to go down this path a lot. Honestly only because in my eyes I've always had a respect towards women and how much better I think they are than us. I'm also a mom's boy lmao

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

It's incredibly hard for me to explain as I've spent most of my life so far trying to defend myself verbally and many times physically but at that point I'm personally fucked because I'm barely 100lb, thats not the point diffrent problems for diffrent people but one issue would be the fact that the guys around me Tell me I'm going to be raped if I go outside, whenever I get into a argument it usually ends with the guy threatening to hit me or just trying to make me feel intimidated by standing close to me in a I donno aggressive way if that makes sense like there stance looking down at me or when I get upset somtimes from being forcefully restrained im told that im the crazy one i need to relax, I can't go into a store without at least one guy trying to get a good long look, I've
Been told my body entices men and how it's out of my control, I was raised to listen obey and be blessed kidding but not kidding my father and mother made sure to educate my brothers and let them have friends of there own and experience shit, i on the other hand was not encouraged to learn while I stayed home sitting on the cement basement floor, there were few things I had to know because according to my mother and father it was lady like or nothing for me, I was told how a women aren't important but that they make things Important, I was told over and over and still get reminded of the concept of this supposed lost purity and how thats the most important thing for a women, I was told I'd be passed around a lot when I was older by my mother after confiding in her about my brother convincing me that i had to let his friend touch me because I played truth or dare with them, they were all two-four years older then
Me, I was so little I didn't understood, then they started asking if they could bring me in the woods with them when they went to "play" and ofcourse my parents allowed it because well, "your brothers there to protect you" even for the little time I was in school having the grade 7 boys for some resone I still don't understand but having a group of them chase me to the back of the school everyday just to circle me and say me name over and over and over while getting closer pushing me between all of them, whenever I leave a room and my brother or father have a dish or garbage or just Want food or a drink they ask me always as I'm just getting up or just as I'm leaving somtimes they don't even ask they just put there arm up with the dish or garbage and gesture for me to grab It, when theres family over I'm expected to clean with the women after food while the guys sit and watch shows, and if I say somthing or try asking if one of the boys can do it suddenly I'm called stuck up, how when I go to an event I'm expected to wear a dress, like I genuinely feel like I have to act like a dits and talk in a lighter tone or else guys assume I'm giving attitude because I'm not talking all high pitched,
I'm expected to be more emotionally mature then a guy In a relationship or at least the ones I've been In, I could go on but I'm pissing myself off and another thing I find that the guys in my life like my brothers say the stuff they say to me and act the way they act at times because they don't see me as a threat, not even that but I think it's gotta do with there respect for me, I try to tell myself if I were strong enough mabye I'd be treated with more respect or taken more seriously, mabye be seen more as an equal instead of a tool for self gratification, like my brothers and partner don't disrespect echother with swearing the way they do with me, like if I were on equal par with em then mabye I wouldn't be hearing shit as much as I do in the way that i do, I ask a question and it's taken as attitude so "'shut the fuck up" right.
I can go on an tell you even more shit because this to me isn't even the gist of it, one of my brothers think to a certain degree hitting physically hitting your partner is okay and that it's okay for men to sleep with women but not okay for women to sleep around with men and he considers himself a protector of women, and how apparently a man can't cheat but a women can by merely walking into a bar with her friends. I'm sorry if I don't make sense I've always had trouble with conveying what I want to convey properly, from the majority of my irl experiences with men they preach shit they don't follow themselves.
Obviously not all tho

 

[apearl]

I think that anyone that has fallen down the suicide route via depression are probably pretty similar, man or woman. Anyone can get mental disorders and women are kind of the posterchild of depression in the psychology world, there is actually a problem because men show depression in a way that gets them diagnosed less. Also I know that male loneliness has been on the rise more then female loneliness but both of them have increased since the pandemic and it's just hard to live while being so alone.
To the last thing u said, funny enough I'm a dad's girl lol. I hope you are doing ok today :)

 

[gnarly]

It's incredibly hard for me to explain as I've spent most of my life so far trying to defend myself verbally and many times physically but at that point I'm personally fucked because I'm barely 100lb, thats not the point diffrent problems for diffrent people but one issue would be the fact that the guys around me Tell me I'm going to be raped if I go outside, whenever I get into a argument it usually ends with the guy threatening to hit me or just trying to make me feel intimidated by standing close to me in a I donno aggressive way if that makes sense like there stance looking down at me or when I get upset somtimes from being forcefully restrained im told that im the crazy one i need to relax, I can't go into a store without at least one guy trying to get a good long look, I've
Been told my body entices men and how it's out of my control, I was raised to listen obey and be blessed kidding but not kidding my father and mother made sure to educate my brothers and let them have friends of there own and experience shit, i on the other hand was not encouraged to learn while I stayed home sitting on the cement basement floor, there were few things I had to know because according to my mother and father it was lady like or nothing for me, I was told how a women aren't important but that they make things Important, I was told over and over and still get reminded of the concept of this supposed lost purity and how thats the most important thing for a women, I was told I'd be passed around a lot when I was older by my mother after confiding in her about my brother convincing me that i had to let his friend touch me because I played truth or date with them, they were all two-four years older then
Me, I was so little I didn't understood, then they started asking if they could bring me in the woods with them when they went to "play" and ofcourse my parents allowed it because well, "your brothers there to protect you" even for the little time I was in school having the grade 7 boys for some resone I still don't understand but having a group of them chase me to the back of the school everyday just to circle me and say me name over and over and over while getting closer pushing me between all of them, whenever I leave a room and my brother or father have a dish or garbage or just Want food or a drink they ask me always as I'm just getting up or just as I'm leaving somtimes they don't even ask they just put there arm up with the dish or garbage and gesture for me to grab It, when theres family over I'm expected to clean with the women after food while the guys sit and watch shows, and if I say somthing or try asking if one of the boys can do it suddenly I'm called stuck up, how when I go to an event I'm expected to wear a dress, like I genuinely feel like I have to act like dits and talk in a lighter tone or else guys assume I'm giving attitude because I'm not talking all high pitched,
I'm expected to be more emotionally mature then a guy In a relationship or at least the ones I've been In, I could go on but I'm pissing myself off and another thing I find that the guys in my life like my brothers say the stuff they say to me and act the way they act at times because they don't see me as a threat, not even that but I think it's gotta do with there respect for me, I try to tell myself if I were strong enough mabye I'd be treated with more respect or taken more seriously, mabye be seen more as an equal instead of a tool for self gratification, like my brothers and partner don't disrespect echother with swearing the way they do with me, like if I were on equal par with em then mabye I wouldn't be hearing shit as much as I do in the way that i do, I ask a questions and it's taken as attitude so "'shut the fuck up" right.
I can go on an tell you even more shit because this to me isn't even the gist of it, one of my brothers think to a certain degree hitting physically hitting your partner is okay and that it's okay for men to sleep with women but not okay for women to sleep around with men and how a man can't cheat apparently but a women can by merely walking into a bar with her friends. I'm sorry if I don't make sense I've always had trouble with conveying what I want to convey properly, from the majority of my irl experiences with men they preach shit they don't follow themselves.
Obviously not all tho

I'm sorry for everything you've went through. The men in your life are weaker than me and have no right to treat you the way you have been treated. Men are dumb nowadays. Most of them are fucking dickheads who can't keep their mouths shut and their dicks in their pants. I wish those kinds of guys never really existed because it's only split equality even more between men and women. And not only that but I've been yelled at or harassed by women because of it. Every man should respect and give women the right amount of love they deserve. No one is ever better. We're all human. We are all the same. I don't think most people know how amazing and great and inspiring a woman can be. To me women are comforting, caring, beautiful, inspiring. Again I'm sorry to hear the horrible experience you've went through. (Oh and sorry for the ramble)

To the last thing u said, funny enough I'm a dad's girl lol. I hope you are doing ok today :)

I'm doing well. I hope you are aswell

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I'm sorry for everything you've went through. The men in your life are weaker than me and have no right to treat you the way you have been treated. Men are dumb nowadays. Most of them are fucking dickheads who can't keep their mouths shut and their dicks in their pants. I wish those kinds of guys never really existed because it's only split equality even more between men and women. And not only that but I've been yelled at or harassed by women because of it. Every man should respect and give women the right amount of love they deserve. No one is ever better. We're all human. We are all the same. I don't think most people know how amazing and great and inspiring a woman can be. To me women are comforting, caring, beautiful, inspiring. Again I'm sorry to hear the horrible experience you've went through. (Oh and sorry for the ramble)

I'm doing well. I hope you are aswell

I love rambles so it's all good as you can tell I went on a ramble with my last message, are you really a guy?
I'm sorry if this comes off some way, i really like the way you describe shit or type I donno, its just nice, it's crazy like do you really mean what you say? To an extent obviously

 

[gnarly]

I love rambles so it's all good as you can tell I went on a ramble with my last message, are you really a guy?
I'm sorry if this comes off some way, i really like the way you describe shit or type I donno, its just nice, it's crazy like do you really mean what you say? To an extent obviously

I am a guy yes. And thank you. Most people consider me dry or corny. I do mean what I say about women. I hate seeing how you all are treated unfairly in this world. I think you all deserve better.(sorry for the late response btw Ik I liked the message awhile ago I was just busy with something. Hope u don't mind)

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I am a guy yes. And thank you. Most people consider me dry or corny. I do mean what I say about women. I hate seeing how you all are treated unfairly in this world. I think you all deserve better.(sorry for the late response btw Ik I liked the message awhile ago I was just busy with something. Hope u don't mind)

No worries no worries at all, I really don't look into it that much I know everyone's got shit going on, just reacting is enough, I don't find what you say corny at all, I wish people were able to be more "caring" like this, I hope the day treats you good and if it hasn't I hope it gets better, Your a pretty nice man, and likewise in the concept of men's suffering, there's so much toxicity, towards both, I never compare the shit I got through to the shit men go through because it's one of those topics I feel can't be compared to echother, thank you for taking the time to reply to me though, TIS APPRECIATED!

 

[gnarly]

No worries no worries at all, I really don't look into it that much I know everyone's got shit going on, just reacting is enough, I don't find what you say corny at all, I wish people were able to be more "caring" like this, I hope the day treats you good and if it hasn't I hope it gets better, Your a pretty nice man, and likewise in the concept of men's suffering, there's so much toxicity, towards both, I never compare the shit I got through to the shit men go through because it's one of those topics I feel can't be compared to eachother, thank you for taking the time to reply to me though, TIS APPRECIATED!

and to you aswell. May the world be in your favor. I pray for you.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I support women. It's the least I could do, since they support me.

 

[Privateer2368]

So I'm really curious to what women go through. Ik as a man it's not really any of my business however I've seen so many girls torn and broken. Girls who I think don't deserve this route. It's impossible for me to fathom women to go down this path a lot. Honestly only because in my eyes I've always had a respect towards women and how much better I think they are than us. I'm also a mom's boy lmao

That's kind of creepy, mate.

 

[gnarly]

That's kind of creepy, mate.

How so? I only genuinely am curious about it. Women go through a lot. if u mean by my comment about women then I apologize. It wasn't meant to be creepy or targeted. It's just how I was raised and what I know.

 

[wren-briar]

I'm a transman who spent almost 4 decades living as a woman.

To @YandereMikuMistress - I'm so sorry you've had to deal with that. I had many conversations with my mother and women her age, and what you shared mirrors so much of what they shared with me. Things did get better for them, and their daughters, but they had to fight for a lot of those changes, and in particular, for a lot of legal changes. Unfortunately, I think change always requires some degree of fighting for, but I hope things get better for you and that you don't have to fight as hard for those changes.

For a few reasons, I'm not going to answer to core question. One of the primary reasons is that —while I lived as a girl/woman— I never felt like a girl/woman, and that definitely colors my perspective.

However, I do feel compelled to share something related to this, something that anyone in the trans community might benefit from.

For me, having a hysterectomy, going on testosterone, and living as a man, drastically reduced the hypo-mania that I experienced, so much so, that since transitioning the only hypo-manic episodes that I've experienced have been after surgeries (and the last surgical team helped me avoid that completely by giving me a nerve block and none of the normal surgical pain meds).

In addition, living authentically as a man just made life easier, some of that is absolutely because of male privilege, but some of it is simply feeling more comfortable in my own skin.

I've heard many of my trans-sisters have similar experiences with improvement in their MH conditions after starting testosterone-blockers and estrogens replacement therapies.

fwiw: I think @gnarly's question is a really great question, and look forward to hearing other women's answers!

 

[disjectamembra]

not woman but afab/fem presenting but it all comes down to patriarchy, granting privileges and preferred opportunities to men. women are collectively excluded from political, social, and economic positions of power; women find themselves paid less well for work of equal value; and women are more likely to experience poverty and unequal access to resources, goods, and services. that affects woman so deeply and the thought of it never getting better is miserable. Because patriarchy defines men as the rulers, men's and women's roles are strictly defined and, in a sense, enforced. Women must be seen as inferior, weaker, generally less capable, less intelligent, and less worthy. Their work is equally considered "lower". Restrictive gender norms often limit children's potential and opportunities, affect their self-esteem and mental health, and shape their relationships with peers.The patriarchal system normalizes gender-based violence, as it reinforces male dominance and control over women. its just so tiring man

 

[moonoverthesea]

do u have questions on specific aspects of being a woman?

for me, what brought me here is how differently the medical system treats women and how little we are believed as a whole. I'll speak on gyno doctors in particular, because i feel it's the one category most relevant for women, but it's true for pretty much any doctor.

Have my experience, as someone who suffered since forever from strong pelvic pain. This all happened as I was already an adult.
- In my family, nobody believed me when I told them I was in pain. Pain was normal, I asked my own mother about why I was in so much pain and unable to use tampons and she only answered "you're different, don't you dare use tampons".
- first gyno visit, went all alone as I really wanted help with my issue but family was unsupportive. The physical examination made me writhe in pain, scream and cry for minutes as she pushed in with force, begging her to stop as I felt dissociation for the first time in my life. I was told to "stop being so dramatic", "there's nothing wrong with you", "find a good man to fuck and you'll stop behaving like that". She did not believe any of my complaints about pain, in life nor during the visit. She sent me on my merry way tellling me that it was my own fault I was in physical pain for days. I personally feel this visit was a violence, but i'll let you decide.
- Couple years later, found a new gyno because I kept developing 7cm cysts on my ovaries. He didn't even want to examine me after I asked him to be gentle because of the previous experience. He told me I should stop thinking about the previous experiences and that my cysts appear because of my bad personality. My pain wasn't even considered real, told me it's my own fault "because must not be studying enough" (I was top class in my university, btw).
- A year later, new gyno to try and get the cysts stuff tackled. He told me I have PCOS, but won't even try examining me and told me I'm stupid if I don't want to go blindly on the pill. My lifelong pain was regarded as "normal".
- Finally, recently, went to a new gyno. Turns out my pain is from a nerve illness, and it's is so evident that even if it's an internal issue it has progressed so much that you can see the illness even from the appearance of my organs (but nobody believed me enough to even try and look at it, up to now).
The illness would have been curable, but as I was ignored for so many years it's now progressed too much and there is no hope of curing it.

if u have questions on any other part of being a woman please feel free to ask!

 

[tinyboxer]

I'm sorry and I know it's not meant to be but this question is just so offensive to me. I wish u had worded it "I'm curious about the stories of the women here" not it's "impossible to fathom" that any woman would be led down this path. Are you not living alongside women on the same planet?? chronic illness, abuse, loneliness, mental illness…almost every reason men would be here also applies to women

 

[gnarly]

I'm sorry and I know it's not meant to be but this question is just so offensive to me. I wish u had worded it "I'm curious about the stories of the women here" not it's "impossible to fathom" that any woman would be led down this path. Are you not living alongside women on the same planet?? chronic illness, abuse, loneliness, mental illness…almost every reason men would be here also applies to women

I apologize. And I know it's hard to believe but yes. The women in my house hold a strong position of hierarchy in my house. Was taught to always well respect them and that they are gods gifts. I've only ever heard from one female in my life who got abused and it was my ex who now fights for herself. I've only ever seen women be strong and powerful I know it's hard to believe but that's just truly the house I grew up in and how I see women. I'm not exactly saying you guys are different like men. I just thought maybe you guys had a different reason. Anyways I'm going to apologize again. I didn't mean any offense. I greatly apologize for what I said.

 

[moonoverthesea]

I'm sorry and I know it's not meant to be but this question is just so offensive to me. I wish u had worded it "I'm curious about the stories of the women here" not it's "impossible to fathom" that any woman would be led down this path. Are you not living alongside women on the same planet?? chronic illness, abuse, loneliness, mental illness…almost every reason men would be here also applies to women

I mean... Most men who didn't really get to know women or ended up seeing them as a "different species" go on to become incels, and are so attached to their view that the perpetrate it and refuse to believe women even when they share their stories.

To be fair I was quite happy to see a man that despite the belief he was brought up with managed to stay curious and was humble enough to ask the people who are most equipped to answer - women themselves - to share their experiences. At no point he seemed to doubt or fight what we shared. If all men were this way, patriarchy and incel culture would be a lot less popular.