Help To tell or not.this is the question.serious question.

[Lara Francis]

I will be going on the 12th of Dec if my boy is not returned to me.
On a very serious note what are peoples thoughts on telling family of your plans.?
I have a lot of things in order just a few bits to clear.i have my anti emetics and a reliable source for SN which I will have next week.
There is no compromise on this date.The only way it' not going to happen is if my boy is back.my friend wanted to come to the court with me but I am going to tell her not to because I will ctb straight from court.nobody will stop me.I hope the courts make the right decision.I cannot do anything more and have given my all.ifs it' not good enough.so be it.it' lights out and goodnight for sure.it' going to devastate my boy and family but I have nothing else to give and social services will have blood on their hands and a child in care because they killed his mum.!.This could well be my last 4 weeks of life.thanks in advance.x

 

[worldexploder]

I'm sorry you are going thought this. I probably wouldn't tell anyone if there is a risk of being put in psyche or something. Don't want your plan compromised,

 

[Trashcan]

I wouldn't tell anyone. That might ruin plans. And I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, you've been going through a lot.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

I agree with the others, giving any indication that you're going to CTB will risk some kind of intervention

 

[Aaron]

If there's any chance that you change your mind before you ctb it's better that no one knows you planned it. You would still be here suffering while another step further away from your boy.
Having friends with you at court could be a good thing even if you don't like it at the time - judge could see you as someone who has support with healthy social connections.

 

[TheLastTrip]

I agree with the comments already made. I would only let people know afterwards, via delayed email or similar, letting people know beforehand is so risky.

 

[Sayo]

I agree with Aaron. I think that is very sound advice. Better even if you have to to postpone your plans a bit in order to give yourself a fighting chance - you need to be able to appear as stable as possible (I know it's ridiculous to expect you not to be emotional!). If your family can't cope with it - which is very likely, unfortunately - they may report it and it will probably harm your case.

Good luck, Lara. As someone whose maternal family was separated in the foster system, I really hope you and your son can be reunited, that you can get your life back on track and be a stable and supportive parent to him, and that he can look forward to a life with his loving mother.

edit: However, don't be afraid to lean on your family for support if they are capable of giving it. I am sure they are fully aware you are going through one of the worst things imaginable to a parent right now and that you are terrified of the future.

 

[scales]

I was so worried about telling anyone about my plans out of fear they would stop me. I have an incredibly supportive family, great friends, and several mental health workers (psychiatrists, therapist, counselors, etc.)

They did nothing. It was laughable. I no longer feel any fear talking about my suicidal plans because nobody actually does anything. Just make sure you sound sane, don't sound like you're unsure or that your decision is a fleeting emotional affair. If you want to die because your girlfriend broke up with you or something for example, you probably will end up in a psych ward until they can stabilize you because it's emotional and in the moment.

Whether or not you should tell and how much to tell will matter a lot, I suggest thinking it through but don't be afraid to speak if need be, the consequences don't necessarily have to be so bad.

 

[longingforrelease]

I agree with Aaron. I think that is very sound advice. Better even if you have to to postpone your plans a bit in order to give yourself a fighting chance - you need to be able to appear as stable as possible (I know it's ridiculous to expect you not to be emotional!). If your family can't cope with it - which is very likely, unfortunately - they may report it and it will probably harm your case.

Good luck, Lara. As someone whose maternal family was separated in the foster system, I really hope you and your son can be reunited, that you can get your life back on track and be a stable and supportive parent to him, and that he can look forward to a life with his loving mother.

edit: However, don't be afraid to lean on your family for support if they are capable of giving it. I am sure they are fully aware you are going through one of the worst things imaginable to a parent right now and that you are terrified of the future.

well said

 

[About_to_Go]

I was so worried about telling anyone about my plans out of fear they would stop me. I have an incredibly supportive family, great friends, and several mental health workers (psychiatrists, therapist, counselors, etc.)

They did nothing. It was laughable. I no longer feel any fear talking about my suicidal plans because nobody actually does anything. Just make sure you sound sane, don't sound like you're unsure or that your decision is a fleeting emotional affair. If you want to die because your girlfriend broke up with you or something for example, you probably will end up in a psych ward until they can stabilize you because it's emotional and in the moment.

Whether or not you should tell and how much to tell will matter a lot, I suggest thinking it through but don't be afraid to speak if need be, the consequences don't necessarily have to be so bad.

That's awesome that you had this experience, but I believe it is atypical. I think most people/professionals would call the police or do something of the sort to stop someone they think might be contemplating suicide. Of course, it's always everyone's choice of whether or not to inform others, but I personally don't believe it's worth the risk.

 

[TiredHorse]

I'd be really worried that whoever you told would pass word along and it would affect your chances of getting your son back. There's no way a court wouldn't take your plans into consideration.

I can barely imagine the agony you're in. I hope the court gives you your boy back.