Blue Rose
Student
- Feb 6, 2021
- 156
* Actually, I don't like using a kind of the word pro-xx in my thread often. So I would like to say that I used them for convenience sake only.
* On Oct, 2020, My boyfriend had told me his love and I accepted. Though there had been some crises in our love, we overcame them well.
* He knows that I am suicidal, I am a member of SS well. Also he knows the existence of SS and SS itself roughly.
* He doesn't hate or dislike SS and suicidal people. Rather, he used to listen my suicidal thought and my some opinions silently without any judgement.
My boyfriend is Catholic and a passive pro-lifer. But He has never asserted or argued his thought, feeling and opinion to any other.
Nevertheless, I know that he opposes to CTB and feels uncomfortable on CTB well.
So I was suppressing my thought and feelings and avoiding to talk about anything related to CTB or SS.
But without my awareness, there was serious problem to him.
Today, he showed me a message. It was describing his agony and I was astonished for a while.
Recently, he met some pro-choicers & his suicidal friends. Of course, he listened to their opinion, complain, etc for a long time
Without any judgement, biased views and answering back. He was so wise that he could console his friend wisely.
But he went extremely weary. He had to bear his agony silently, until he almost passed his limit.
I could not wait and see, so approached him immediately. I started to console him carefully.
His pain was poured on me. He told me his feelings, and it was painful. I sympathised him, so listened to his words silently.
As I expected, he was fearing the death of his close friend and... my CTB.
I reassured him. I told him that I was fine mostly, and he seemed to be relieved somewhat.
Next, I praised him for his kindness, even-mindedness, and gentleness.
He deserved to be praised so. I think he sacrificed himself for his friends even.
Last, I told him that he didn't have to make himself too painful, and his response in the heart was natural.
And there would be other possible ways for both himself and his friends. I recommended some rests to him so.
How pitiful he is! He loves me so much and fears my death.
For this event, surely he has been so hurt. In addition, he is weary even now.
Sometimes I imagine. If I refused his love gently and politely, would he be happier than now?
I would like to seek your advice. If you were me, how would you do? And, how would you feel about this event?
* On Oct, 2020, My boyfriend had told me his love and I accepted. Though there had been some crises in our love, we overcame them well.
* He knows that I am suicidal, I am a member of SS well. Also he knows the existence of SS and SS itself roughly.
* He doesn't hate or dislike SS and suicidal people. Rather, he used to listen my suicidal thought and my some opinions silently without any judgement.
My boyfriend is Catholic and a passive pro-lifer. But He has never asserted or argued his thought, feeling and opinion to any other.
Nevertheless, I know that he opposes to CTB and feels uncomfortable on CTB well.
So I was suppressing my thought and feelings and avoiding to talk about anything related to CTB or SS.
But without my awareness, there was serious problem to him.
Today, he showed me a message. It was describing his agony and I was astonished for a while.
Recently, he met some pro-choicers & his suicidal friends. Of course, he listened to their opinion, complain, etc for a long time
Without any judgement, biased views and answering back. He was so wise that he could console his friend wisely.
But he went extremely weary. He had to bear his agony silently, until he almost passed his limit.
I could not wait and see, so approached him immediately. I started to console him carefully.
His pain was poured on me. He told me his feelings, and it was painful. I sympathised him, so listened to his words silently.
As I expected, he was fearing the death of his close friend and... my CTB.
I reassured him. I told him that I was fine mostly, and he seemed to be relieved somewhat.
Next, I praised him for his kindness, even-mindedness, and gentleness.
He deserved to be praised so. I think he sacrificed himself for his friends even.
Last, I told him that he didn't have to make himself too painful, and his response in the heart was natural.
And there would be other possible ways for both himself and his friends. I recommended some rests to him so.
How pitiful he is! He loves me so much and fears my death.
For this event, surely he has been so hurt. In addition, he is weary even now.
Sometimes I imagine. If I refused his love gently and politely, would he be happier than now?
I would like to seek your advice. If you were me, how would you do? And, how would you feel about this event?
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