Venting To her

[lady sea]

Dear Carmen,

I probably shouldn't use your name here but you'll never read this anyways.

I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I never listened to you. I'm sorry I was selfish. All you ever did was love me and show me you cared yet somehow I managed to make everything about me. I got jealous so easily. I was toxic for you. You knew this and you stayed, which said a lot about the person you are.

I remember all the times we laughed together and were happy. But I also remember all the times we fought. After every fight, I would tell you how it was my fault and I would apologize even if I knew it wasn't. I wouldn't ever let you take the blame and I never will because as your girlfriend it was my place to protect you and that was my way of protecting you from being hurt.

The last time we fought, ended us. I was angry because you were acting very distant and cold towards me and when I would ask you what was wrong you would say "nothing." At one point you even left me behind to talk to friends... I felt neglected so I walk away to a nearby bathroom. You followed me and when you found me, you acted as if nothing had happened. You were the same again and that confused and angered me even more. We got into a full blown argument, yelling and bringing up the past. At one point I got so tired of us fighting at i started to walk away from you... as I walked away, you said "I love you" even tho prior to this during the argument you had basically broken up with me and said you were done. In response, in the moment of anger, to this I said "I don't" which I realized was wrong as soon as I said it.

I do love you. More than anything in the world. You got sad after that and officially broke up with me. Ever since then, ive been locked away in my room and haven't came out. I've been in bed unable to do anything productive. I miss you. Will you ever come back? We had our entire future planned. I know I messed up and I tried fixing it but I guess this time you're actually done.

I love you
I miss you

Lala​

 

[Jean Améry]

I think you should let the lady in question know how you feel. It might not change her mind but at least you'll have tried.

I lost someone whom I loved due to negligence and a whole lot of shit I'd rather not go into but I wish I had made more of an effort to get her back. That's still nagging at me, more than a decade later.

 

[randomz]

This sounds beautiful. You should send it to whoever it was written for.

 

[lady sea]

I think you should let the lady in question know how you feel. It might not change her mind but at least you'll have tried.

I lost someone whom I loved due to negligence and a whole lot of shit I'd rather not go into but I wish I had made more of an effort to get her back. That's still nagging at me, more than a decade later.

Thank you for your advice but I have tried telling her multiple times and she just responds with "the damage is done" or "then why'd you say it" and it hurts so much more knowing she doesn't believe me

 

[Jean Améry]

Thank you for your advice but I have tried telling her multiple times and she just responds with "the damage is done" or "then why'd you say it" and it hurts so much more knowing she doesn't believe me

I'm sorry to hear that. Did you mail her what you wrote here? I think it's powerful writing.

Obviously I don't know her or you or what happened exactly but maybe she wants you to convince her you really do love her and you're genuinly sorry about what happened.

Of course you can't make her love you but from my experience it's important for your own peace of mind to know you did everything humanly possible to get that person back. Without breaking any laws of course.

 

[enjoy]

i was in the same situation as you back in september. carmen sounds a lot like my own ex-girlfriend. if you ever need someone to talk or relate to, i'm all ears.

 

[lady sea]

i was in the same situation as you back in september. carmen sounds a lot like my own ex-girlfriend. if you ever need someone to talk or relate to, i'm all ears.

Thank you so much.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm here if you need a friend I understand how much it hurts to lose a loved one and they don't love you anymore.

 

[rntmss]

My wife of 5 years and best friend for 10 years before left me last year and the last thing she said to me was "my love for you is forever and irreparably shattered".

I have to sit down and cry every time I think of our life together.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Things like losing a love of your life never go away, you just end up filling the hole in your heart with other things.

 

[HadEnough1974]

Dear Carmen,

I probably shouldn't use your name here but you'll never read this anyways.

I'm sorry that I hurt you. I'm sorry that I never listened to you. I'm sorry I was selfish. All you ever did was love me and show me you cared yet somehow I managed to make everything about me. I got jealous so easily. I was toxic for you. You knew this and you stayed, which said a lot about the person you are.

I remember all the times we laughed together and were happy. But I also remember all the times we fought. After every fight, I would tell you how it was my fault and I would apologize even if I knew it wasn't. I wouldn't ever let you take the blame and I never will because as your girlfriend it was my place to protect you and that was my way of protecting you from being hurt.

The last time we fought, ended us. I was angry because you were acting very distant and cold towards me and when I would ask you what was wrong you would say "nothing." At one point you even left me behind to talk to friends... I felt neglected so I walk away to a nearby bathroom. You followed me and when you found me, you acted as if nothing had happened. You were the same again and that confused and angered me even more. We got into a full blown argument, yelling and bringing up the past. At one point I got so tired of us fighting at i started to walk away from you... as I walked away, you said "I love you" even tho prior to this during the argument you had basically broken up with me and said you were done. In response, in the moment of anger, to this I said "I don't" which I realized was wrong as soon as I said it.

I do love you. More than anything in the world. You got sad after that and officially broke up with me. Ever since then, ive been locked away in my room and haven't came out. I've been in bed unable to do anything productive. I miss you. Will you ever come back? We had our entire future planned. I know I messed up and I tried fixing it but I guess this time you're actually done.

I love you
I miss you

Lala​

My experience with breakups is that you can't make someone love you or want to be with you. No matter what you do or say, if the person does not want to be with you, there is nothing you can do. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've been there and I survived. Love is irrational. It's like a drug, be careful and I wish you well.