helplesship
helpfriendshipdrainfiasco
- May 13, 2025
- 67
i'm going old and honestly? i've got zero real connections, no friendships that feel like they actually mean something. people always be like, "just go out more, meet people," but the same people saying that already roll with crews they've known for years. they tell me to "just talk first," but when i do, i get pegged as desperate or "trying too hard." it's weird wanting this stuff, like i'm suddenly weird for wanting someone to put me first or notice me. weird is the word. i've never had that tight, ride-or-die kind of friendship. everyone else seems to have zones, friend #1 for small talk, friend #2 for getting closer, friend #3 who's the real one. and me? what am i? nobody. i don't wanna be all dramatic and say i failed because of that, but maybe i've always been kinda messed up about friendships, maybe that's why i'm here on my own
this loneliness… i don't even know how to explain it. sad about it, but there's always someone shouting advice like, "don't depend on people, bro! keep grinding, focus on yourself, don't care if they stay or go!" then another crew pops up like, "dude, make more friends, you dummy, get out there, build connections, you gotta network. we're social animals, remember?" and i'm just sitting in the middle like, which one's right?
i'm so confused. i just can't do this. i'm too naive for the whole game. i expect way too much. i can't live up to anyone's idea of me, and i'm honestly so dumb sometimes that i can't even focus on myself everything slips back to being about someone else or some group. it feels like i lost who i actually am. i live in nostalgia way too much, replaying old stuff in my head, and i can't accept that people come and go like it's nothing. it hurts. big time
maybe it's attachment issues. maybe i'm clingy, maybe i'm needy, maybe i'm just… human. either way, it's messy, and i don't know how to fix it. all i know is i want someone who gets me, who picks up the phone, who remembers the little things, who makes me feel like i matter, not a placeholder, not background noise. is that too much to ask?
this loneliness… i don't even know how to explain it. sad about it, but there's always someone shouting advice like, "don't depend on people, bro! keep grinding, focus on yourself, don't care if they stay or go!" then another crew pops up like, "dude, make more friends, you dummy, get out there, build connections, you gotta network. we're social animals, remember?" and i'm just sitting in the middle like, which one's right?
i'm so confused. i just can't do this. i'm too naive for the whole game. i expect way too much. i can't live up to anyone's idea of me, and i'm honestly so dumb sometimes that i can't even focus on myself everything slips back to being about someone else or some group. it feels like i lost who i actually am. i live in nostalgia way too much, replaying old stuff in my head, and i can't accept that people come and go like it's nothing. it hurts. big time
maybe it's attachment issues. maybe i'm clingy, maybe i'm needy, maybe i'm just… human. either way, it's messy, and i don't know how to fix it. all i know is i want someone who gets me, who picks up the phone, who remembers the little things, who makes me feel like i matter, not a placeholder, not background noise. is that too much to ask?
