followingfate

followingfate

Member
Dec 26, 2020
39
I wish I had gone through with it already.
I knew things wouldn't get better. my relationship is getting worse and worse. all I do is unintentionally hurt them. but I'm scared of being alone. I'm supposed to leave home and go live with them, but how am I supposed to uproot my life when I'm not even sure I'll be happy with them?
I'm just so tired of everything. over all the years of my life. it's all been unfair. I don't like to think that way, but it really feels unfair.
I've been to therapy, ive genuinely tried to get better, I've been in the hospital, I'm on antidepressants, and actually just added on a new one, and yet I'm still not better. I may improve for a few months at a time but it. always comes back.
I'm so tired. getting closer and closer to being able so ctb without being too scared.
I'm sure I'll panic afterwards, but if I can just sit with it for long enough then it won't matter. I just want this life to be over with.
 
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