U

username12345

Member
Aug 18, 2024
73
I'm a trans guy and while things have been okay physically transitioning, socially transitioning has been absolute hell even to the point of physical abuse from my own family. I was also on the street for over a month(I finally got an apartment) but I'm just terrible at trying to be a cis/cishet guy even if I am more physically passing and I never fit in anywhere. Things used to be so much better pretransition and now I have no friends and family and just get pushed around and ridiculed and overly scrutinized all the time. I also have been bullied from the start from transitioning and hate crimed several times. Also weird things have happened for two years while one of the people who have bullied me have kept things up and there's no end in sight. He follows me around everywhere even across the country and is always in my business. More than one person has stolen things and money from me too even while being homeless like wtf? I was also sexually assaulted when I was on the street and I don't get someone keeping tabs on you and not caring about anything even through physical abuse, sexual assault, and homelessness. I'm just so tired of being alive and getting out of survival mode from being on the street just to get away from my family, I am sadder than I have ever been in my life. It just feels like everyone hates me no matter what I do to be nice and Im just something to throw tomatoes at and/or exploit. I really don't know why I'm still here. Someone in my family died that everyone loved and I don't get why he died and I didn't. He actually had so much to live for and everyone would've been so much happier. He should've lived and I should've died; my life is so pointless and I'm so tired. I haven't celebrated anything in four years either, so I'm just gonna celebrate Halloween at least(by myself), but I've really lost hope for my life.
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needthebus

needthebus

Student
Apr 29, 2024
136
sorry you are here.

there are cities that exist that have more trans men in them. if you are in a less accepting area, I would try to leave. if you are in a major city, find a support network of other trans men

Is it hard for you to switch phone numbers or do things in a way to protect yourself more?

I can offer you advice on how to protect yourself from ongoing digital harassment. It may just be 1 person online harassing you and once you elude them, they will lack the technical sophistication and skills to continue. I am not willing to provide any other sorts of advice.

I also understand what you mean, I feel like I'm bullied all the time, I am not trans, but everyone treats me so damn meanly all the time, and I don't come across as normal. People who seem different are like magnets for shit people.

If you are new to being a trans man and don't have a community of other trans men, communities of such people do exist, and having support and allies can mean the world. Some trans men wind up happy once they find their place among others.
 
U

username12345

Member
Aug 18, 2024
73
sorry you are here.

there are cities that exist that have more trans men in them. if you are in a less accepting area, I would try to leave. if you are in a major city, find a support network of other trans men

Is it hard for you to switch phone numbers or do things in a way to protect yourself more?

I can offer you advice on how to protect yourself from ongoing digital harassment. It may just be 1 person online harassing you and once you elude them, they will lack the technical sophistication and skills to continue. I am not willing to provide any other sorts of advice.

I also understand what you mean, I feel like I'm bullied all the time, I am not trans, but everyone treats me so damn meanly all the time, and I don't come across as normal. People who seem different are like magnets for shit people.

If you are new to being a trans man and don't have a community of other trans men, communities of such people do exist, and having support and allies can mean the world. Some trans men wind up happy once they find their place among others.
I have changed my phone number so many times, but idk if there's much you can do for the possibility of being hacked. What's your advice?

The problem is regardless of who it is is that I just get shit nonstop and the person that's been the most consistent about harassment is still going with the sneaky shit. Even through physical abuse and sexual assault and sleeping in hail and on the dirt none of that has made him think maybe he should stop being a piece of shit and leave me alone at least. Like I need support and all I get is weird shit.

I think the problem too is that LGBT+ accepting areas are mainly just for cis gay guys. Even people that say love is love all the time can be super transphobic. I think too I am passing for the most part but if people aren't quite clocking me they think something's off.

There are trans groups I've found but I've either not had the availability or have been too ashamed to go cause most of them in one of the groups have not dealt with homelessness. But yeah I will try to find better people I guess but I just never fit in
 
needthebus

needthebus

Student
Apr 29, 2024
136
I have changed my phone number so many times, but idk if there's much you can do for the possibility of being hacked. What's your advice?

The problem is regardless of who it is is that I just get shit nonstop and the person that's been the most consistent about harassment is still going with the sneaky shit. Even through physical abuse and sexual assault and sleeping in hail and on the dirt none of that has made him think maybe he should stop being a piece of shit and leave me alone at least. Like I need support and all I get is weird shit.

I think the problem too is that LGBT+ accepting areas are mainly just for cis gay guys. Even people that say love is love all the time can be super transphobic. I think too I am passing for the most part but if people aren't quite clocking me they think something's off.

There are trans groups I've found but I've either not had the availability or have been too ashamed to go cause most of them in one of the groups have not dealt with homelessness. But yeah I will try to find better people I guess but I just never fit in
This ("There are trans groups I've found but I've either not had the availability or have been too ashamed to go cause most of them in one of the groups have not dealt with homelessness. But yeah I will try to find better people I guess but I just never fit.") is the problem. They will not care that you have been homeless, many trans people deal with housing insecurity or homelessness and it's basically normal. YOU NEED TO FIND OTHER TRANS MEN TO TALK WITH. GO TO ONE. It will change your life for the better and you deserve to at least give yourself a chance.

As for being electronically harassed, you probably are being electronically harassed and also you may have developed some paranoia and fear as the result of harassment, although it's hard to know. When someone is digitally harassing you, it's hard to know what is what.

If they keep harassing you when you change numbers, they have some hack. Go to privacyguides.org and read everything there. You may also have firmware level malware on your phone or they may have hacked your email. Hacking is not actually magic, someone is getting your number somehow either through Facebook or someone you have contact with or through a hack. If you use different numbers for different people you can figure out the source of the leak or hack, unless it's firmware level malware and they are reading this right now. It could be a family member who is upset about the transition, a religious asshole who just wants to be mean and met you only once, or someone you randomly met who doesn't like trans people. It could also be someone you were genuinely mean to and it has nothing to do with you being trans and they are just using that to hurt you because you hurt them. If you read all of this and take extremely defensive measures it may just stop. Most people who do stuff like this are not that skilled.

a lot of hackers will not also do in person shit, it's much riskier, and if you are worried about that get a security system. most doxxers are not super high level hackers and just understanding technology better will make it really hard for some low level hacker to find you. You should also test everything you have with a bluetooth checker to see if there is any bluetooth embedded trackers in anything, such as a gift someone gave you like a family member giving you a present. This is not an unsolvable problem unless your hacker/harasser is incredibly smart, and if you're being targeted for being trans, this person is likely religious and most religious people aren't great with coding because a mind that believes in mumbo-jumbo religion and the mind of someone who can code are often different. Whoever is doxxing you is likely not a coder, they are some low level script kiddie type most likely who has you compromised somehow. If you have a compromised operating system, then if they are really hardcore they could see your screen and read this. Read privacyguides.org and choose a new OS. Qubes is hard as fuck and so unless you are being hacked by a network engineer, choose something easier, would suggest not using Nix and just choosing a more common linux distro. Low skill hackers will give up with harassment if you make it harder. It may be an App on your phone or compromise firmware. There is a board for privacyguides.org too and there are trans people in the hacking and privacy communities. My guess is some of the hacking/harassment is real and some stuff you've mentioned is like psychological affects of trauma, but it could be that it's all real.

If the person is doing anything illegal, you could also clone your devices or have a security expert look at them to see if there's forensic information if they are really sloppy, but it's really hard for most police to understand even low level digital forensic analysis and you may not want to spend time and effort on that. If they are good, they won't have been that sloppy. Hacking is a real thing, people get hacked, extremely good hackers are scary but almost all hackers are not that good. The good thing about this is it gives you an excuse to learn about tech.

IT IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO GO TO THE TRANS MEN GROUP THAN DEAL WITH TECH STUFF. Do that immediately.

I'm not anti-suicide but your problems sound mostly like things that could be solved with effort and support of other trans men. You should go to privacyguides.org and go to the trans group and just try to live more. sasu will be here if you still need it in a year.
 
Last edited:
U

username12345

Member
Aug 18, 2024
73
This ("There are trans groups I've found but I've either not had the availability or have been too ashamed to go cause most of them in one of the groups have not dealt with homelessness. But yeah I will try to find better people I guess but I just never fit.") is the problem. They will not care that you have been homeless, many trans people deal with housing insecurity or homelessness and it's basically normal. YOU NEED TO FIND OTHER TRANS MEN TO TALK WITH. GO TO ONE. It will change your life for the better and you deserve to at least give yourself a chance.

As for being electronically harassed, you probably are being electronically harassed and also you may have developed some paranoia and fear as the result of harassment, although it's hard to know. When someone is digitally harassing you, it's hard to know what is what.

If they keep harassing you when you change numbers, they have some hack. Go to privacyguides.org and read everything there. You may also have firmware level malware on your phone or they may have hacked your email. Hacking is not actually magic, someone is getting your number somehow either through Facebook or someone you have contact with or through a hack. If you use different numbers for different people you can figure out the source of the leak or hack, unless it's firmware level malware and they are reading this right now. It could be a family member who is upset about the transition, a religious asshole who just wants to be mean and met you only once, or someone you randomly met who doesn't like trans people. It could also be someone you were genuinely mean to and it has nothing to do with you being trans and they are just using that to hurt you because you hurt them. If you read all of this and take extremely defensive measures it may just stop. Most people who do stuff like this are not that skilled.

a lot of hackers will not also do in person shit, it's much riskier, and if you are worried about that get a security system. most doxxers are not super high level hackers and just understanding technology better will make it really hard for some low level hacker to find you. You should also test everything you have with a bluetooth checker to see if there is any bluetooth embedded trackers in anything, such as a gift someone gave you like a family member giving you a present. This is not an unsolvable problem unless your hacker/harasser is incredibly smart, and if you're being targeted for being trans, this person is likely religious and most religious people aren't great with coding because a mind that believes in mumbo-jumbo religion and the mind of someone who can code are often different. Whoever is doxxing you is likely not a coder, they are some low level script kiddie type most likely who has you compromised somehow. If you have a compromised operating system, then if they are really hardcore they could see your screen and read this. Read privacyguides.org and choose a new OS. Qubes is hard as fuck and so unless you are being hacked by a network engineer, choose something easier, would suggest not using Nix and just choosing a more common linux distro. Low skill hackers will give up with harassment if you make it harder. It may be an App on your phone or compromise firmware. There is a board for privacyguides.org too and there are trans people in the hacking and privacy communities. My guess is some of the hacking/harassment is real and some stuff you've mentioned is like psychological affects of trauma, but it could be that it's all real.

If the person is doing anything illegal, you could also clone your devices or have a security expert look at them to see if there's forensic information if they are really sloppy, but it's really hard for most police to understand even low level digital forensic analysis and you may not want to spend time and effort on that. If they are good, they won't have been that sloppy. Hacking is a real thing, people get hacked, extremely good hackers are scary but almost all hackers are not that good. The good thing about this is it gives you an excuse to learn about tech.

IT IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT FOR YOU TO GO TO THE TRANS MEN GROUP THAN DEAL WITH TECH STUFF. Do that immediately.

I'm not anti-suicide but your problems sound mostly like things that could be solved with effort and support of other trans men. You should go to privacyguides.org and go to the trans group and just try to live more. sasu will be here if you still need it in a year.
Are you trans? I feel like you can't really say transphobia is gonna be solved if I go to a support group…plus I reached out to them for help before I became homeless and they completely ignored me so I think my concerns are valid. Thanks for the information but it's been years of weird and crazy shit and I feel like I am too traumatized to be able to take anything anymore. I've tried to go to the support groups and I've tried and tried to build a support system and positive connections and have just been relentlessly bullied and dealt with really traumatic things completely alone over and over. I just don't get the point anymore and I'm tired of everything.
 
needthebus

needthebus

Student
Apr 29, 2024
136
Are you trans? I feel like you can't really say transphobia is gonna be solved if I go to a support group…plus I reached out to them for help before I became homeless and they completely ignored me so I think my concerns are valid. Thanks for the information but it's been years of weird and crazy shit and I feel like I am too traumatized to be able to take anything anymore. I've tried to go to the support groups and I've tried and tried to build a support system and positive connections and have just been relentlessly bullied and dealt with really traumatic things completely alone over and over. I just don't get the point anymore and I'm tired of everything.
i am not trans but trans ally or try to be

not always a great ally, but try my best, wish i were better

did you go to any support groups for trans men with other trans men? you said you reached out to them but did you show up at in person group?

some people dont respond warmly to emails but do respond well to phone or in person
 

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