I wouldn't call it shitty at all. Waiting on the few close relatives I have birthdays to come and go has been screwing me up for months now, and things have been getting worse and worse for me. I guess I care too much, but I don't have much family left, and I don't want them thinking about me when it's supposed to be a happy day for them. It depends on how bad your situation is. If you can't hang on you just can't. But the one good thing about waiting it out is that it gives you more time to plan out exactly how you're going to ctb and not wind up in a hospital. Most attempted suicides fail because people go about it impulsively. So in a way I'm glad I've waited because I feel like I've got it right and won't be just another failure. Hope this helps a little.