Venting TIME TO GO

[StarryStarry]

Well, I knew it would come to this - it always has - it always will. Tried so hard to find a job (after 5 months without a job and without unemployment). If you've read any of my previous posts the asshole I worked for freaked out on me back in late August because I asked him to call the office. He started cursing telling me, "I don't give a fuck about your itty bitty feelings," just a bunch of shit so I tried to get unemployment and he lied and said he never cursed at me. The dumbass at the UE office believed him. My entire life has consisted of people fucking me over in one way or another. I found out recently that my ex-husband molested my little girl and that is why she took her own life. He of course got away with it - yes I do say that he killed her because he did. So I was offered a job 3,000 miles away, but I can't afford to move. It's just one thing after another. It will never end - this misery, the tears, the loneliness it will never end. I want to be with my little girl. My plans are set. I'm getting rid of everything I own (giving it to a charity), I'll make sure my cat has enough food and water to last two weeks. I'm going to send a letter to the office manager to contact my cat's vet and she will take her. Then I'm getting into my car and driving to where my little girl is. I'm going to buy her a bunch of beautiful flowers and put them on her grave. Then I'm going to make arrangements for me. Then I'm going to ctb. FUCK THIS WORLD AND THE PEOPLE IN IT. I've had enough pain to last a lifetime. I'm so ready to leave.

 

[waitingforrest]

I honestly don't know what to say as I don't want to cause you anymore pain. I hope that you get to be your daughter again. I think she would love the flowers, at least I would.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Hey I think you've put up a hell of a fight considering what you've been through.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is so cruel, I'm sorry you have been through all that. It really is dreadful when everyday is just pain and despair. I hope you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[Somber]

I'm sorry for what has happened to you and your daughter. I absolutely understand your reasons for wanting to CTB. What has happened to your daughter is a tragedy, that he got away with it, an injustice.

Remember that you can include a charity in your Will. You don't need to donate it up front. It's best to take every precaution you can, no matter how prepared or determined you are.

If you leave, save us a seat.
If you decide to continue keeping us company, you are most welcome.
The bus isn't going anywhere.
Please stay safe.

 

[Crazy4u]

I cannot imagine your pain. You suffered a lot. I hope you find peace

 

[Of The Universe]

Did you take your name from Van Gogh?

 

[Wrennie]

Well, I knew it would come to this - it always has - it always will. Tried so hard to find a job (after 5 months without a job and without unemployment). If you've read any of my previous posts the asshole I worked for freaked out on me back in late August because I asked him to call the office. He started cursing telling me, "I don't give a fuck about your itty bitty feelings," just a bunch of shit so I tried to get unemployment and he lied and said he never cursed at me. The dumbass at the UE office believed him. My entire life has consisted of people fucking me over in one way or another. I found out recently that my ex-husband molested my little girl and that is why she took her own life. He of course got away with it - yes I do say that he killed her because he did. So I was offered a job 3,000 miles away, but I can't afford to move. It's just one thing after another. It will never end - this misery, the tears, the loneliness it will never end. I want to be with my little girl. My plans are set. I'm getting rid of everything I own (giving it to a charity), I'll make sure my cat has enough food and water to last two weeks. I'm going to send a letter to the office manager to contact my cat's vet and she will take her. Then I'm getting into my car and driving to where my little girl is. I'm going to buy her a bunch of beautiful flowers and put them on her grave. Then I'm going to make arrangements for me. Then I'm going to ctb. FUCK THIS WORLD AND THE PEOPLE IN IT. I've had enough pain to last a lifetime. I'm so ready to leave.

Jesus Christ… I'm fucking crying for you right now.
How dare that man commit such an unfathomable atrocity toward your child. I have no words. This world owed you and your beautiful daughter so much more. I am so, so sorry for your loss… for your agony, for everything you've had to endure even after the insurmountable pain of losing your own flesh & blood. It's just not fair. It never is.

 

[Depressed Cat]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering so much. I don't know what to say. Life has been sheer hell for you and there seems to be no end to your suffering at all.

It's tragic that it has come to this, but I perfectly understand your wanting to CTB. Whatever happens, I wish you the best, and hope you find eternal peace by getting to be with your daughter again.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

Did you take your name from Van Gogh?

Or the Don McLean song?

 

[StarryStarry]

Or the Don McLean song?

Van Goh's painting

 

[Onthe29th]

I'm so sorry this happened to you…so many things have gone wrong in a short amount of time and I can only imagine what you're going through. It's all too much..

 

[Garmonboziagirl]

No words that I could say would possibly heal your unbearable pain. So, I will just say that I hear you and see you and wish you peace.

 

[Of The Universe]

Van Goh's painting

His last words:"The sadness will last forever." Wow that's sad. Of course, Van Gogh shot himself.
I am very sorry about your daughter. I only wish the man could be made to pay.

 

[StarryStarry]

His last words:"The sadness will last forever." Wow that's sad. Of course, Van Gogh shot himself.
I am very sorry about your daughter. I only wish the man could be made to pay.

Thank you for your kind words, they are much appreciated. Since I am suicidal and not homicidal, I guess he'll continue to live the wonderful life he has had.

 

[littlelungs]

That is absolutely horrific all-around; my heart is broken just from reading what you've written, so I can only IMAGINE what you must be feeling. Life can be so cruel, relentless, brutal and unjust, and humanity can be unfathomably ugly right down to the core. I'm at a loss for words.

I am so, so sorry for everything that you and your daughter have gone through, and from the bottom of my heart, I hope you find the peace that you (and your daughter) always deserved.

 

[StarryStarry]

That is absolutely horrific all-around; my heart is broken just from reading what you've written, so I can only IMAGINE what you must be feeling. Life can be so cruel, relentless, brutal and unjust, and humanity can be unfathomably ugly right down to the core. I'm at a loss for words.

I am so, so sorry for everything that you and your daughter have gone through, and from the bottom of my heart, I hope you find the peace that you (and your daughter) always deserved.

Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me that people on this site understand how I am feeling. Sometimes I feel as if I am losing my mind. I cry all the time - it drives people away. Honestly, if I didn't have my cat I would already be gone. I miss my little girl so much it physically hurts. Again, thank you.

 

[Julgran]

Well, I knew it would come to this - it always has - it always will. Tried so hard to find a job (after 5 months without a job and without unemployment). If you've read any of my previous posts the asshole I worked for freaked out on me back in late August because I asked him to call the office. He started cursing telling me, "I don't give a fuck about your itty bitty feelings," just a bunch of shit so I tried to get unemployment and he lied and said he never cursed at me. The dumbass at the UE office believed him. My entire life has consisted of people fucking me over in one way or another. I found out recently that my ex-husband molested my little girl and that is why she took her own life. He of course got away with it - yes I do say that he killed her because he did. So I was offered a job 3,000 miles away, but I can't afford to move. It's just one thing after another. It will never end - this misery, the tears, the loneliness it will never end. I want to be with my little girl. My plans are set. I'm getting rid of everything I own (giving it to a charity), I'll make sure my cat has enough food and water to last two weeks. I'm going to send a letter to the office manager to contact my cat's vet and she will take her. Then I'm getting into my car and driving to where my little girl is. I'm going to buy her a bunch of beautiful flowers and put them on her grave. Then I'm going to make arrangements for me. Then I'm going to ctb. FUCK THIS WORLD AND THE PEOPLE IN IT. I've had enough pain to last a lifetime. I'm so ready to leave.

Just going by what you wrote, I fully understand you, and know that you are a fine person. May you have a better life in the next, if there is one