Time to go

[hendrix1989]

I just got back from a holiday with my friends, thinking that would put me in a good mood, but the whole time all I could fixate on was CTBing. I got home last night and was supposed to be working today but all I've done is attempt partial hanging. I can't do it, I'm not sure if it's because I can't find my sweetspot, or SI kicking in ( I'm terrified of becoming a vegetable). I also tried full hanging but there's no spot high enough for me to do that.

I rang my psychiatric care team twice the past couple of weeks and they haven't rang me back.

Im alone for the next few days. As I can't seem to complete partial hanging, I'm thinking of taking 210mg of olanzapine (to induce somnolence) and then drowning in the sea, which isn't far from my house. I'll go at midnight.

 

[Dingusguy]

I do not recommend drowning. It is very dubious and your SI will almost certainly kick in. I am not sure that is a smart way to go about it. Just want to warn you.

 

[hendrix1989]

I don't see any other options, other than jumping in front of a car on the motorway near my house (that's how my brother cab's) but I don't want to traumatise anyone. I'm hoping the olanzapine will make me drowsy enough to the point of almost passing out.

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

I know someone who drowned. He said it was the most peaceful experience of his life. He was dead but was revived.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer in this cruel existence, I hope you find what you are searching for, best wishes.