NegevChina
Member
- Sep 5, 2024
- 26
My power is running out. Each day that goes by my physical and mental situation is getting worse. People cant stand my existence or proximity. I lost my job due to internal medical issue that made me unable to work due to severe pain and discomfort. This added up to an orthopedic issue I've been struggling with for the past 7 years that made my life hell. Both issues were dismissed by the medical system in my country as non critical. On top of that social anxiety and post trauma (CPTSD) from childhood events aren't letting go. I want to be remembered as a good man and not as a burden. I'm thinking of jumping 9th floor and tying a small umbrella to my foot so the air forces it up to make me fall head first to not fail the attempt. But don't want to traumatize residents of the building. Thought of CO in the car but chances of failing are to high. best would be if I had a way to drown, easiest for my family but SI is to strong to fight in this method. I don't know what I can do. I'm already seeing a psychiatrist for the past few years but I'm not getting better. Running out of money. No body likes losers. Want to die soon to keep my dignity its the only thing left for me but starting to be impossible to maintain.