Thoughts on inpatient?

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

My departure is feeling more and more imminent each day. It doesn't bother me, but a part of me feels obligated to stick around for friends and family, and to not miss out on good things.

Because of this, I've been thinking about giving it one last shot at mental health care, through voluntary or maybe involuntary commitment. I was wondering, what the process is like for people? How were your experiences?

I'm nervous about it, because I can't afford to miss work, so I literally will probably have to schedule going to a mental hospital around where I can afford it. And worse, the mental hospital in my area is horrible. Everyone hates it, it gets terrible reviews from patients and doctors alike. Willingly going somewhere so notorious makes me uneasy, but on the other hand, if it worsens my mental state, maybe it'll expedite my procrastinating.

Any advice would be helpful, thank you.

(Sorry, posted early, haha.)

 

[Trilucid]

Well... With my case it was involuntary commitment. And where I live, those places have the appearance like something out of those horror movies.
I found it strange that the overall problem was the careless and ignorant behavior of staff and doctors however.
One of the... I guess male nurses or whatever went as far as hitting / slapping one of the patients. There was a lady that would scream at me too, for not taking my meds this one time or what not. Just, I feel like they wish to humiliate you and make you feel guilty for being suicidal instead of actually help. Like, if you are suicidal, you are a hell spawn. At least their understandings of the matter where I was.
In my case, it is a no go. I guess it really depends on where you live. If the facility is looking nice and fancy and if some of the reviews are better, in terms of the staff treating patients, then that should work. Be aware though that interaction with other patients in there can be a bit of a mess, too. I had one guy keep asking me to make his bed in the morning, he would try to scare and shout at me when I refused. Another dude wanted me to massage him, I was like WHAT?!
Furthermore, some made fun of me and my self harm scars, calling them tattoos and calling me and artist, lol.
Another dude would not stop staring at me and following me around. Another would hug me each time he saw me. No scrap that, there were two like that.
The worst part though - A guy from solitary that was stuffed with so many meds and he could not remember how to talk... He stared at me for a few moments and started to cry.
Again though, it's not so much the patients, it's the doctors and staff not doing their job.
I just hope with your case, it can be much, much better and you find people that are caring. Would be interesting to read your story if you do go and return back.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Well... With my case it was involuntary commitment. And where I live, those places have the appearance like something out of those horror movies.
I found it strange that the overall problem was the careless and ignorant behavior of staff and doctors however.

My sympathies for your experiences there. It's incredibly rude of the staff to treat you so cruelly, and to not intervene when you were being harassed by male patients. That's not okay, and it's certainly not acceptable for mental health professionals.

As for me, just going by reviews, it sounds like the mental hospital in my area is similar. Because it's the only inpatient psychiatric facility for hundreds of miles, it's often crowded and understaffed. Staff doesn't treat patients with sympathy or care, and tend to over medicate.

I'm nervous to try it, as it could just do more harm than good, but I may have no choice than to give it a try. If I do, I'll post about my experiences.

 

[Trilucid]

My sympathies for your experiences there. It's incredibly rude of the staff to treat you so cruelly, and to not intervene when you were being harassed by male patients. That's not okay, and it's certainly not acceptable for mental health professionals.

As for me, just going by reviews, it sounds like the mental hospital in my area is similar. Because it's the only inpatient psychiatric facility for hundreds of miles, it's often crowded and understaffed. Staff doesn't treat patients with sympathy or care, and tend to over medicate.

I'm nervous to try it, as it could just do more harm than good, but I may have no choice than to give it a try. If I do, I'll post about my experiences.

Yeah, had some time to think through the whole experience however. In the end, I decided to let it go.
The whole experience there felt surreal in a way, too. Like a bad dream that, I was on auto pilot on through it all.
Thank you however!

The staff are definitely to blame. You can not be that careless when doing such a serious job. If only they could understand though.
It seems that from them, only the very elderly nurses could show empathy or sympathy.
The young part of the staff... Pure garbage personalities man.
I kept asking them, when can I leave the place. They kept turning their faces and acting as if they are deaf. Ignorant.

The one thing that I can tell you though is that it will add to your strength a bit. Mental one. It will make you perhaps a bit more fearless.
I was thinking of it as doing a prison sentence, or maybe a boot camp training for the military.
It is a challenge, one that will pull your pins and strings, but it may also have at least a small pro to the overall effect.

I could understand the nervous part. I remember how desperately I cried my first day there and screamed, when they denied me to see my relatives during visiting hours, saying the first day is crucial.

It is not an easy decision to make, but whatever happens, I will be hoping for your best and having my fingers crossed you have a better experience at least.

 

[Dead Ghost]

I've been told to enter several times but ... I remember when my father came in in 2005 and I went to visit, ... it was awful, I just wanted to leave. 'there. There was a person who occasionally offered drinks to people, but in reality he offered his urine.
I don't understand why caregivers are kept on duty 24 or 48 hours later if they are not in better condition than the sick, they are often rude and unfriendly and reluctant to give explanations of prayer. and reluctant to explain anything (Google Horribilator Traductus, hehe)

Another time I went to the hospital next door for an emergency and I was totally amazed at how organized it was ... it's a very nice and well-structured building with very clean and well-kept rooms and very well attended by his staff until you go up to the psychiatric ward and go through the door that gives access ... it is a separate world, seemingly dirty and chaotic with some patients on stretchers in the middle of the room or hallways, some naked and others defecating on their own .. they take care of you directly in the waiting room and every time they have to talk to someone they take the people out of the waiting room and when we finish we go back inside.

I've never been inside a slaughterhouse, but I had the feeling that I was there ... Hospital Clínic shit they call a reference, there's no right.

And as a result of other experiences, let's just say you've been through a lot before you get there.

Spoiler: Original Text

A mi m'han parlat d'ingressar-me diverses vegades però... m'enrecordo quan van ingressar el meu pare el 2005 i anar-hi jo de visita,... era horrible, només volia anar-me'n d'allà. Hi havía una persona que es dedicava de quan en quan a oferir begudes a la gent, però en realitat ofería la seva orina.
No entenc perquè els hi fan fer guàrdies de 24 o 48 hores als cuidadors si després no estàn en més bones condicions que els malalts, sovint es mostren esquerps i antipàtics i poc disposats a donar explicacions de res.

Una altre vegada vaig anar d'urgéncies per mi a l'hospital de la vora de casa i em vaig quedar totalment astorat de com estava organitzat... es un edifici molt maco i ben estructurat amb unes sales ben netes i cuidades i molt ben atés per seu personal fins que puges a la planta de psiquiatría i travesses la porta que hi dona accés... és un món apart, aparentment brut i caótic amb alguns pacients en camilles pel bell mig de la sala o els passadissos, alguns despullats i d'altres fent-se les necessitats a sobre.. t'atenent directament a la sala d'espera i cada cop que han de parlar amb algú fan sortir fora a la gent de la sala d'espera i al acabar tornem a entrar.

No he estat mai a dins un escorxador, però vaig tenir la sensació de ser-hi... merda d'Hospital Clínic que l'anomenen de referència., no hi ha dret.

I cònec d'altres experiències, diguessim que et poses bò a base de veure que tan afortunat eret's abans d'entrar a allà.

 

[Trilucid]

Yikes! Now that I read the above post... Yes, after you enter the metal gate, it is in fact pretty different.
The shitting and pissing part that some patients do, I got to witness that too, or well, at least hear.
Because apparently that guy whose brain they fried in solitude was tied to his bed for so long, he ended up pissing on it. Or pissing himself.
Very inhuman procedures.
My number one thing would be to at least separate the people that are suicidal from those that have very serious problems.
Heh, there was even a kleptomaniac that would steal as far as people's toilet paper.
I don't know, it's just that the system that should take care of these things seems to be beyond broken.

 

[symphony]

Well, every experience is different. It'll depend on the institution and your mental state and probably just luck. I've been 8 times and counting, and while none of my experiences were great per se, not all of them were life-shatteringly terrible either. Baseline is being mildy uncomfortable for a week or two, impatient to get out, missing your privacy and freedoms. I usually find at least a couple of other patients I can vibe with for a bit, and often a couple of the staff will be cool too.

On the other hand, there's the chance of dealing with shitty patients making everyone's life hell, shitty staff making everyone's life hell, having to put up with a mindnumbing routine and act out their ideas of recovery so you can just get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. And to that end, "voluntary" is never quite fully voluntary. While it's possible for a voluntary patient to request to leave AMA, they never tell you how to do that or even that it's an option, it's a slow process, and they fully have the power to then turn your stay completely involuntary if they don't want you leaving. I've seen patients ask to sign a release form and get threatened that if they do, the psychiatrist would immediately petition to have them forced into staying another two weeks. So while there is certainly a difference between a voluntary and an involuntary stay, don't be fooled into thinking that walking in freely means you can just walk back out.

And to the extreme, there's always the possibility of being tackled and held down by staff, put into mechanical restraints, given "booty juice" chemical sedation injections, being kept in isolation... Of course the average patient won't experience that in their average stay, but it does happen, and I have a few too many experiences with that myself.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Goodness, all of those experiences sound so stressful, and I'm sorry you all had to endure that. It sounds like it's largely adding trauma on top of trauma, even when the experience is neutral or decent.

Also, I worked up the courage to go to my local facility and inquire more info,, the person was kind to answer a few questions, but he said 'as I am now,' my insurance probably won't pay for a voluntary stay as I'm not in immediate danger, but, if things get worse I could come back if it was serious.

So, there's that. To be fair, I didn't mention I have severe suicidal thoughts, just because I didn't want to risk being admitted right then (stopping by was bad timing on my part, as I still need to get my check today to pay rent, I literally can't afford to risk getting admitted or even evaluated until I can pay rent. Lol capitalism.)

It's just frustrating. It means I'll have to choose between possibly injuring myself just to be 'severe enough ' to get care that will probably not be very good anyway, or continue to suffer through building, urgent suicidal thoughts as always. I'm very tired.