E
Elbarado
Experienced
- Dec 25, 2019
- 243
Hey everyone,
This is my first post.
I would ve never thought about cbt,but it seems i suffer from a very cruel disease (ALS). Its not for 100% sure,because you can just say by developing,but i feel it.
I dont want to wait till i cant do it anymore.
I cant stand the weakness,pain of bones,helpless feeling,and getting no help from orhers anymore and bubbling its just your psyche...cause it isnt.
Sadly im just 34 and i was fine with my life one year ago,lots of friends,party,not much money but i was fine with that,family,did lots of sports and so.
Long story short, i dont want to be disabled,unable to move,supported by everything even breathing.
Im afraid of death and pain,so the best thing would be N,but thats out of my reach. I simply dont know where to get it.
A gun is also out of reach,i think even more than N.
So jumping would be a quick solution,or hanging. But dear lord...the overcoming to do this step while concious is so tough,so i was thinking,about going on a high spot with helium exit bag,holding a rope while i am sitting backwards on the edge,inhaling the helium,blackouting,falling backwards and blackouting for enternity
This is my first post.
I would ve never thought about cbt,but it seems i suffer from a very cruel disease (ALS). Its not for 100% sure,because you can just say by developing,but i feel it.
I dont want to wait till i cant do it anymore.
I cant stand the weakness,pain of bones,helpless feeling,and getting no help from orhers anymore and bubbling its just your psyche...cause it isnt.
Sadly im just 34 and i was fine with my life one year ago,lots of friends,party,not much money but i was fine with that,family,did lots of sports and so.
Long story short, i dont want to be disabled,unable to move,supported by everything even breathing.
Im afraid of death and pain,so the best thing would be N,but thats out of my reach. I simply dont know where to get it.
A gun is also out of reach,i think even more than N.
So jumping would be a quick solution,or hanging. But dear lord...the overcoming to do this step while concious is so tough,so i was thinking,about going on a high spot with helium exit bag,holding a rope while i am sitting backwards on the edge,inhaling the helium,blackouting,falling backwards and blackouting for enternity
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