Thoughts of Suicide Due to Physical Conditions

[InterestedParty]

I notice the vast majority of threads revolve around mental conditions.

Is there anyone here who has a terminal illness like cancer who is actively thinking of taking their life?

If so, is it because you have exhausted all medical options, or for other reasons?

Thank you

 

[suffering_mo]

Mine is not terminal. But I was severely injured by a medical procedure and am suffering severe neurological effects and pain, both of which make me feel tortured, in one way or another, every minute of every day. This, of course, has caused severe depression as well. There really just is no medical treatment for this, to alleviate the suffering. I truly wish it were terminal. I beg for something terminal to end this for me, so I don't have to. What we are requiring some people to live through is just wrong.... and this whole thing has been eye opening for me.

 

[InterestedParty]

So

Mine is not terminal. But I was severely injured by a medical procedure and am suffering severe neurological effects and pain, both of which make me feel tortured, in one way or another, every minute of every day. This, of course, has caused severe depression as well. There really just is no medical treatment for this, to alleviate the suffering. I truly wish it were terminal. I beg for something terminal to end this for me, so I don't have to. What we are requiring some people to live through is just wrong.... and this whole thing has been eye opening for me.

Sorry to hear that

 

[sevennn]

i wish mine was terminal really badly. at least it would end. chronic illness that doesn't kill you feels worse

 

[NegevChina]

I notice the vast majority of threads revolve around mental conditions.

Is there anyone here who has a terminal illness like cancer who is actively thinking of taking their life?

If so, is it because you have exhausted all medical options, or for other reasons?

Thank you

I'm here for illness reason in addition to my CPTSD. I'm 57, survived all these years but now a physical illness destroyed my life and made my anxiety worse. Its not considered a terminal illness but I cannot function normally, made my life hell, cant work and running out of money. My condition is not considered officially as severe, is very hard to diagnose and there is no cure.

 

[finallydone]

physical and mental are more related than you think, there is no person who can suffer physically without the mental following in the same direction, you know i had an inguinal hernia for six months before having a surgery on it, in addition to having excruciating physical pain all the time my anxiety went through the roof and i feel like that caused my overall mental health to deteriorate much faster

 

[InterestedParty]

i wish mine was terminal really badly. at least it would end. chronic illness that doesn't kill you feels worse

have you exhausted treatment?

physical and mental are more related than you think, there is no person who can suffer physically without the mental following in the same direction, you know i had an inguinal hernia for six months before having a surgery on it, in addition to having excruciating physical pain all the time my anxiety went through the roof and i feel like that caused my overall mental health to deteriorate much faster

No i definitely agree. I was moreso talking about people who were suffering from conditions that was actively killing their bodies.

 

[sevennn]

have you exhausted treatment?

theres no cure. even cancer has cures and treatments. there's no cure or even a treatment. and nothing for me to try. the world doesn't care about people like me. doctors don't care. nobody does. habituation (get used to it) is their cure for us. it really hurts. i would rather have a missing leg. i would rather have cancer. i would rather have almost anything else

 

[InterestedParty]

theres no cure. even cancer has cures and treatments. there's no cure or even a treatment. and nothing for me to try. the world doesn't care about people like me. doctors don't care. nobody does. habituation (get used to it) is their cure for us. it really hurts. i would rather have a missing leg. i would rather have cancer. i would rather have almost anything else

would you be able to disclose your condition, im curious as to what ailment would lack treatment or cure in present day

 

[sevennn]

would you be able to disclose your condition, im curious as to what ailment would lack treatment or cure in present day

tinnitus. absolutely not one treatment for me to try. not even one that a doctor can give me. had it for 10 years. only gotten worse. had depression for 10 years because of it. still do. my whole life is fucjed up and ruined. since i had ut since my teens i could never thrive as an adult. it severely worsens the quality of one's life and nobody fuckijgg cares. i'll kill myself because of it and no one will fucjijg care. nobody cares about my suffering. nobody understands how horrible and maddening this is and how much it wears you down and changed you as a person. and yes i wish i had cancer. then i'd get sympathy and love and i wish it was terminal so my suffering could end. id rather have a sickness that kills me, rather than one that doesn't. would be a blessing. my life is not worth living and nobody cares to help me. i've gone insane and hollow and sad and numb from this. i can't take it anymore. sorry for long reply. all i can do is cry and type im so tired

 

[PhDone]

tinnitus. absolutely not one treatment for me to try. not even one that a doctor can give me. had it for 10 years. only gotten worse. had depression for 10 years because of it. still do. my whole life is fucjed up and ruined. since i had ut since my teens i could never thrive as an adult. it severely worsens the quality of one's life and nobody fuckijgg cares. i'll kill myself because of it and no one will fucjijg care. nobody cares about my suffering. nobody understands how horrible and maddening this is and how much it wears you down and changed you as a person. and yes i wish i had cancer. then i'd get sympathy and love and i wish it was terminal so my suffering could end. id rather have a sickness that kills me, rather than one that doesn't. would be a blessing. my life is not worth living and nobody cares to help me. i've gone insane and hollow and sad and numb from this. i can't take it anymore. sorry for long reply. all i can do is cry and type im so tired

Feeling you. Just the worst thing to be stuck in, an illness that creates torture but no cure. No care, forgotten, left to suffer without help. The worst of humanity. An abhorance of nature.

 

[InterestedParty]

tinnitus. absolutely not one treatment for me to try. not even one that a doctor can give me. had it for 10 years. only gotten worse. had depression for 10 years because of it. still do. my whole life is fucjed up and ruined. since i had ut since my teens i could never thrive as an adult. it severely worsens the quality of one's life and nobody fuckijgg cares. i'll kill myself because of it and no one will fucjijg care. nobody cares about my suffering. nobody understands how horrible and maddening this is and how much it wears you down and changed you as a person. and yes i wish i had cancer. then i'd get sympathy and love and i wish it was terminal so my suffering could end. id rather have a sickness that kills me, rather than one that doesn't. would be a blessing. my life is not worth living and nobody cares to help me. i've gone insane and hollow and sad and numb from this. i can't take it anymore. sorry for long reply. all i can do is cry and type im so tired

Thank you for the well expressed reply. Prior to reading this I probably would have also considered tinnitus as nuisance than such a disability. May I ask how you got tinnitus and how long you have had it?

 

[PhDone]

Thank you for the well expressed reply. Prior to reading this I probably would have also considered tinnitus as nuisance than such a disability. May I ask how you got tinnitus and how long you have had it?

Sorry not trying to steal their thunder. Just adding to the understanding. Tinnitus is utterly debilitating. I have three sounds in my head that are louder than speech. Theyre nasty sounds too. And your ears never switch off. So the noises are present all night too. Cant sleep or if i do its never in peace. Never have silence and often want to stick a knife in my ear. Ctb by knife in the ear would be my prefered method. Just to shut the fkn thing up. Its torture tbh.

 

[suffering_mo]

Tinnitus can absolutely be torture and at the other end of the stick for some who have it, is hyperacusis, where everyday sounds are torturous and are 2-10x amplified. Or there's pain that can come with the sounds too. People don't understand how delicate the body can be. Some people get hit with extremely rare and brutal conditions with zero cures available. I've known people with these conditions literally having to lock themselves up in a soundproof room, unable to live life AT ALL, tortured by the sound of running water, etc. I will say it again.... forcing people to live with stuff like this, IF they don't want to (some still do want to live), is cruel and inhumane.

 

[Vivir_O_No]

I notice the vast majority of threads revolve around mental conditions.

Is there anyone here who has a terminal illness like cancer who is actively thinking of taking their life?

If so, is it because you have exhausted all medical options, or for other reasons?

Thank you

I suspect I have empty nose syndrome after receiving surgery for enlarged turbinates. I don't care though, I'm fed up of life and its constant abuse. I'm attempting partial hanging soon again. I will try as many times as necessary.

 

[PhDone]

Tinnitus can absolutely be torture and at the other end of the stick for some who have it, is hyperacusis, where everyday sounds are torturous and are 2-10x amplified. Or there's pain that can come with the sounds too. People don't understand how delicate the body can be. Some people get hit with extremely rare and brutal conditions with zero cures available. I've known people with these conditions literally having to lock themselves up in a soundproof room, unable to live life AT ALL, tortured by the sound of running water, etc. I will say it again.... forcing people to live with stuff like this, IF they don't want to (some still do want to live), is cruel and inhumane.

Absolutely. The societal conditioning that says ctb or vad is not ok is perpetuated by ignorance. Even spiritual gurus and teachers add their perspectives with little or no personal experience. You cannot know how this feels if you have not been in it. And no, we are not enlightened, nor saints or angels, we are human beings, with human capabilities, we cannot pray or meditate our way out of this. And for many of us we are suffering badly enough to not want this for ourselves for an indefinite future. We are not learning or growing from this experience. Or rewriting our karma or whatever. We are growing, daily, in trauma.

 

[John8]

heart condition and anemia, I just wanna be free

 

[anemicamoeba]

I'm here because of a physical condition. Bedbound with severe MECFS (and many others lol, EDS, POTS, MCAS, SFN, gastroparesis). MECFS is brutal in all kinds of ways, no cure, used to be very stigmatized, it's much less since COVID caused so many people to develop it, but misunderstood. Mine was caused by COVID and that's its own kind of hell to be repeatedly reinfected and do everything I can to help myself and be knocked down again.

I have two friends with the same condition who have ctb because of it. I didn't know either one was planning it beforehand, but I understand where they were coming from. It's by far the most common cause of death for people with this condition

 

[athiestjoe]

Here are a few conversations about phsyical health struggles as well you might be interested in reading as well; I am sure there are plenty of others too:

Anyone Else Herre bc They're Terminally Ill?
My physical health is deteriorating alongside my mental health now

Vent about Physical health

Things Got So Much Worse Physically

Permanent Physicall Illness

Spoiler: A few others

Vent

30 Years of Attempts

Terminall Ill

Cancer Journey

I have Cancer

And so on. I often see a lot of posts where people discuss this making it super clear there is so much unbearable pain & suffering by so many. Pro-lifers do not understand that this sort of daily, unimaginable pain in this cruel world is this bad for so many people. So sorry to hear about all those and the experiences of others above on this thread too.

I hope you find everything you are looking for and get peace & serenity.

 

[GMOpNsOTW9J]

I am quadriplegic. Thats not fatal. But it comes with potentially fatal complications like pressure sores, pneumonia, kidney failure...
I dont intend do die that way.

 

[InterestedParty]

I am quadriplegic. Thats not fatal. But it comes with potentially fatal complications like pressure sores, pneumonia, kidney failure...
I dont intend do die that way.

How did that come about?

 

[Theodora]

Yes this is the first time the idea of suicide is becoming a thing that I'm not scared of anymore.. like yes I wanted to die for years but I don't even care about the darkness anymore, I figured out the other day I probably have COPD I don't fking smoke and I'm angry at my parents.. I live in this house full of smoke 24/7 there is no escape, for the the first time I'm actually looking at moving out.. my life is already ruined, I don't want to die with my body failing me.. I want to die on my own terms.. besides I won't be able to cope living alone.. it's best to get this over with

 

[InterestedParty]

Yes this is the first time the idea of suicide is becoming a thing that I'm not scared of anymore.. like yes I wanted to die for years but I don't even care about the darkness anymore, I figured out the other day I probably have COPD I don't fking smoke and I'm angry at my parents.. I live in this house full of smoke 24/7 there is no escape, for the the first time I'm actually looking at moving out.. my life is already ruined, I don't want to die with my body failing me.. I want to die on my own terms.. besides I won't be able to cope living alone.. it's best to get this over with

Do you know how you may have COPD?

 

[Bear1234]

Absolutely. The societal conditioning that says ctb or vad is not ok is perpetuated by ignorance. Even spiritual gurus and teachers add their perspectives with little or no personal experience. You cannot know how this feels if you have not been in it. And no, we are not enlightened, nor saints or angels, we are human beings, with human capabilities, we cannot pray or meditate our way out of this. And for many of us we are suffering badly enough to not want this for ourselves for an indefinite future. We are not learning or growing from this experience. Or rewriting our karma or whatever. We are growing, daily, in trauma.

Couldn't have said it better myself

 

[PhDone]

I'm here because of a physical condition. Bedbound with severe MECFS (and many others lol, EDS, POTS, MCAS, SFN, gastroparesis). MECFS is brutal in all kinds of ways, no cure, used to be very stigmatized, it's much less since COVID caused so many people to develop it, but misunderstood. Mine was caused by COVID and that's its own kind of hell to be repeatedly reinfected and do everything I can to help myself and be knocked down again.

I have two friends with the same condition who have ctb because of it. I didn't know either one was planning it beforehand, but I understand where they were coming from. It's by far the most common cause of death for people with this condition

I have this too. It is literally hell on earth. I honestly dont know how people cope for decades with it. Its brutal. Watching others living life and you can hardly move. And fearful of moving becoz it can regress you. Then told it is that fear thats actually the mechanism. Holy shit. No it is NOT, get informed before gaslighting people in severe suffering. Treatment is non existent. Research is moving at snails pace. I cant see any hope tbh for decades.

Thats devastating re your friends. But yep, its why I am here on SS too.

 

[GMOpNsOTW9J]

How did that come about?

I had an accident while swimming in a lake. Pretty stupid.

 

[Theodora]

Do you know how you may have COPD?

Well oddly I was looking at the symptoms the other day regarding my parents, because they are both rapidly deteriorating and it's horrible to watch, anyway I've been to the ER multiple times about shortness of breathe and rapid heart beat.. FINALLY it's confirmed my heart rate is high..Years of being constantly dismissed, so I've been very worried about that.. finally I got referred to a cardiologist waiting for that next month. I thought well now I can finally know something is wrong with my heart, going around forums on copd I found ALL my symptoms were matching I've been hacking up phlegm for months every day.. I got used to it.. to find nope that's the biggest warning sign along with high heart rate and being exhausted I just asked my doctor for an X-ray.. I told my parents and they don't care.. I guess because they are on the last stages they won't change.. which I understand.. I'm just stuck in this house, I should've moved out years ago but I'm mentally slow honestly