Discussion Thoughts about Therapy

[feeling_the_pull]

I'm a good few weeks into therapy, and I think it started off well, but I'm not so sure anymore. I feel like I'm oversimplifying my thoughts to my therapist and somehow tricking him into thinking I'm actively working on myself. Honestly I'm starting to feel bad that I involved him in my issues, because now I am thinking about how he might feel if I'm not doing well. I don't think it's fair that he has to deal with me coming in and putting in little effort and just having a crisis. Does anyone else experience this?

 

[Sleepycat]

I didnt find any doctor useful. I find i dont respect or trust them enough to properly share. They over charge for nothing but sitting there and "listening". I have never seen their good works or their give a fuck. I have seen them not even talk to me before shoving pills at me without any explainations.

On the side of you feeling bad for wasting his time. Thats backwards. You are PAYING him hes fine. You are wasting your own time in that office. If you have the means hack through the doctors till you find one you can and will talk too. People have told me they exhist... somewhere.

 

[TAW122]

As someone who went in the past (many years ago), yeah I second sleepycat for the most part, it's at best a waste of time (and money) and at worst, possibly incarceration and being held against your will for your own safety for saying the "wrong things" (yes I know people skirt around technicalities, but that's playing with fire and one is bound to get burned at some point).

I have such strong stances on this very topic I even wrote a megathread discussing it. (Also just in case anyone is trying to convince me otherwise, I've already made up my mind and not interesting in changing my stance nor arguing and justifying it further.)

 

[DeadNotSleeping]

I used to think that therapy would solve all my problems. I totally agree with the oversimplification part. My issue is I'd oversimplify things, then feel like I'm letting them down if I'm not showing progress so I end up lying about how I'm doing. Only just recently have I started being fully honest. Not so much hoping for something to work/fix me but I guess just coming to terms with how I've felt for a while. So while I don't think it's helping, I do find having someone to talk to that I can be completely honest with is nice sometimes.

 

[PlannedforPeru]

Sorry for the incoming long response, I just want to condense my experience with therapy and try to provide you with something useful.

As others have mentioned, I'd try not to feel guilty about involving them with your problems as first it's their job and second they are doing this as a service for payment, not out of charity; that's not to say no emotion is involved for either party but not being transparent with them is a disservice to the both of you. If you haven't already I'd recommend jotting the most important of thoughts and feelings in a journal or phone notes during the interim between sessions, that way you can steel man yourself so to speak and spend less time trying to articulate yourself in the actual sessions.

I've mentioned this to another user before but I'd recommend asking where the boundary is for 3rd party interference in regards to suicide if you already have broached that topic before. If not then ease into it if you feel comfortable with your therapist.

Through authentic discussion (therapist permitting) you can hopefully distinguish your own priorities about whether you want to pursue the path of recovery or not. Counsellors are trying to help you reach your goals, which in this case I'm assuming is to cultivate a fulfilling / meaningful / content life that has you working towards it rather than closer to catching the bus. Regardless of whether you put in 1% effort or 200% effort, their goal is your goal which for them is outcome dependent not effort dependent. You can really only be the measurer of that effort as tolerances are individual. But even putting in 1% effort if you start identifying as [insert goal adjective, fulfilled for example] (which even for healthy minds, ebbs and flows depending on mood and circumstances) then it's considered job well done.

The inverse of this is putting 200% and the outcomes still remains as not being fulfilled, the list of things to work towards will continue to grow until that changes. Don't shame yourself for not "actively working on yourself" if you are even putting in 1% effort for improvement each day as it's not really a concern for effort but rather result. 1% is good if they are 1% closer to goals YOU want, not others.