Venting Thoughts about death

[catbunny]

Ever since I was a little child, I can't stop thinking and being so curious about death. I wonder what it feels like, what will happen next, so much more.

When I was 12, my family moved into an apartment which located in the 13th floor. I remember so many times I want to jump off that balcony. I even thought about which time and which window I should jump off so no one can stop me. There was a time when I really have the intention to jump off. But I didn't. I should have done that.

At the time, I don't think that its depression. Assuming that I was a weird ass kid that have mental issues. But a lot of things happened after, so bad I couldn't remember it clearly anymore. I don't think now it's only a curiosity anymore. I just want to leave this world for good. I don't know what will happened after, but I just want to escape this moment right now.

 

[w4itingforthesun]

Ever since I was a little child, I can't stop thinking and being so curious about death. I wonder what it feels like, what will happen next, so much more

i've felt the exact same way for so long. i understand this so well, there were times i was so curious what it felt like that the only way i would be satisfied or happy is if i found out for myself by just going through with it. some nights i couldn't even sleep because these thoughts kept me up for hours upon hours at a time.
i want to escape as well, it hurts feeling this way, remaining in the world is so cruel when all you want to do is leave it. i hope there will be an ending we want

 

[Jadeith]

I wonder what it feels like

I guess it strongly depends on the type of death.

what will happen next

That's of course my personal opinion - happens exactly same thing that was happening before you were conceived and born. If birth is waking up without going to sleep first then death should be same thing but in reverse - going to dreamless sleep without waking up ever again.