I've been fighting an 8 year long addiction by myself. I finally got these courage 3 months ago to tell someone about it and get l help. It was a breakthrough. I confessed everything I was thinking and got it all off my chest. I was able to quit the addictive substance and was clean for closer to 3 months. I thought the addiction that plagued my life was finally behind me for good. Ha. How bold of me to assume that. I had a relapse. A very very very bad relapse. I'm too afraid to tell those who helped me because I think they will just give up on me too. I really was trying. I tried these hardest I ever have on anything in my life. But now I'm just going to accept I'm trash. Everyone already has enough problems on their own. I don't want them wasting time on me anymore. These people also know I'm suicidal. So if I disappear atleast they won't be as shocked. I feel bad because its gonna hurt my mom. She's already going through a lot right now. Sigh...
I just can't take this cycle of addiction anymore. How can anyone forgive this. I wouldn't forgive myself.
I hate to say it, but I'm giving up. What's the point in staying clean a couple months if I'm always going to relapse again? It's pointless. My advice is to never do any kind of drug. Addiction will ruin and take your life eventually. I'm tired of fighting.
And also I finally got covid and survived it sadly. I wasn't trying to catch it in purpose. But that method of dying of covid hasn't worked , so I'm gonna scratch that off the list. Back to the methods folder... gonna see what else I can try.
I just can't take this cycle of addiction anymore. How can anyone forgive this. I wouldn't forgive myself.
I hate to say it, but I'm giving up. What's the point in staying clean a couple months if I'm always going to relapse again? It's pointless. My advice is to never do any kind of drug. Addiction will ruin and take your life eventually. I'm tired of fighting.
And also I finally got covid and survived it sadly. I wasn't trying to catch it in purpose. But that method of dying of covid hasn't worked , so I'm gonna scratch that off the list. Back to the methods folder... gonna see what else I can try.
