Help Those who overcame their deepest insecurities, how?

[Boredsapiens]

Insecurities have made my life so miserable in the past 2-3 months. I think I always had them but all of them started to emerge after I got into a relationship with someone. Now I'm always hiding myself from the person I'm with, I'm always afraid that my insecurities will one day be known by others, etc. I actually don't want to be in a relationship anymore. People think I'm happy but they don't know the pain resulting from hiding my insecurities all the time. Sometimes I am content with life, like I enjoy my life to some point for 2 straight days, and then I'm back to feeling like shit again. And it is actually normal to feel like shit sometimes, but I do feel like shit most of the time. That's the problem. I question my childhood, like what went wrong when I was brought up? I question myself, why am I the way I am? I'm really exhausted because of these feelings.
I've recently been questioning what love is. I sort of realized that I don't love anyone. Including me, And the irony is that I had started to love myslef until 2-3 months ago. I don't really hate myself either, I don't know. I've been lying too much because of this as well. I say "I love you" to people I'm supposed to love, but I don't actually feel the love toward them. I'm feeling extremely, painfully miserable right now. I've been reconsidering suicide after a long time, but I just want to give life one more chance.
Sometimes I feel like a selfish prick who acts in narcissistic ways to have his own basic requirements met. Is this considered self-hate? I hope it isn't because I don't want to fall into this cycle again.
Take care.

 

[timf]

Love is a very confusing word. Some define it as the feelings one experiences that are a composite of attraction, expectation, anticipation, and even lust. However, it has alternatively been defined as the choice one makes to set aside "self" for another (such as the love a parent has for a child).

One can feel like a leaf blown by the wind if one waits for feelings to hit them. For example, falling in or out of love is more a description of someone who is seemingly at the whim of fate. If you are attempting to redefine love, you may wish to consider incorporating elements of choice more than chance.

If you chose to love someone or not, it can give you more control. Seeing love as a choice may allow you to make an emotional investment in someone who is likely to reciprocate thereby leading to the positive emotions that we all seek. Conversely, withholding love from someone who is likely to hurt you can also avoid the negative feelings that we all shy away from.

 

[JamieJambo]

Check out this thread https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ocial-anxiety-8-years-ago.91861/#post-1624645

 

[JamieJambo]

Check out this thread https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...ocial-anxiety-8-years-ago.91861/#post-1624645

There is a good book called Thrive which is really good for this but it ain't cheap

Check out the reviews on Amazon

It's really works and did for me